


Fires in Winter// Reddie

by ninaloveshiddles



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King, Redddie, Reddie Fandom
Genre: Accidental Erection, Adult Losers Club (IT), Aged-Up Losers Club (IT), Aging, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Attempted Seduction, Awkward Boners, Barely Legal, Biting, Blood and Injury, Boners, Bottom Eddie Kaspbrak, Bottom Richie Tozier, Boys Kissing, Break Up, Bullying, Canon Dialogue, Canon Universe, Childhood Memories, Childhood Sweethearts, Christmas, Closet Sex, Cockblocking, Comfort, Confessions, Confrontations, Crying, Daydreaming, Derry (Stephen King), Dirty Talk, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Dysfunctional Family, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Erections, Eventual Happy Ending, Fantasizing, Finger Sucking, Fingerfucking, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Panic, Gay Richie Tozier, Gentle Sex, Goodbyes, Grinding, Hammocks, Hand Jobs, Heartache, Heartbreak, Holding Hands, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Honesty, Horny Teenagers, Hospitalization, Hospitals, I Love You, Inappropriate Erections, Intimacy, Losers Club (IT) Friendship, M/M, Major Character Injury, Making Love, Making Out, Marriage Proposal, Medical Trauma, Memories, Memory Loss, Mild Smut, Moaning, Morning After, Morning Kisses, Moving In Together, Mutual Pining, Near Death, Oral Sex, Overthinking, PTSD, Play Fighting, Plot, Post-Canon, Quiet Sex, Recreational Drug Use, Reddie, Reunions, Riding, Rope Bondage, Running Away, Sensuality, Sexual Tension, Sharing Clothes, Shower Sex, Showers, Slow Burn, Smut, Sneaking Around, Sobbing, Spider Pennywise (IT), Stanley Uris Lives, Stanley Uris is a Good Friend, Swim Team, Tags Contain Spoilers, Teasing, Teen Romance, Teenage Losers Club (IT), Teenagers, The Forgetting (IT), Therapy, Touching, Truth or Dare, Undressing, Wrestling, car makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:35:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 37
Words: 56,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21754603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninaloveshiddles/pseuds/ninaloveshiddles
Summary: Eddie and Richie are best friends, but as they have gotten older, the friendship has morphed into something more complicated. The Loser's Club meets for a hangout over Winter break, and the feelings the two have for each other keep burning hotter and wilder.As they explore their romantic and physical relationship, life in the town of Derry becomes much more complicated, leaving some things not to be resolved until adulthood when they return to finish what had been started so many years before.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 172
Kudos: 615





	1. Punctual Pair

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work in progress.  
> A few notes about the world: The characters resemble the ones from the movie (2017 and 2019)  
> Bev did not move away and all members of the Loser's Club are present  
> Bev and Bill are not a couple  
> The year is around 1992  
> Reddie fic  
> There will eventually be a time jump of about 23 years.

“Hurry up Tozier, we’re gonna be late.”

“Look Eds, the only thing I do quickly is fuck your mom.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“Wham bam thank you ma’am,” Richie teased.

The two seventeen year olds were standing in Richie Tozier’s bedroom which was covered in band shirts and dirty pairs of jeans. Eddie Kaspbrak crossed his arms impatiently. It was the first day of winter break and the Loser’s Club had decided to meet at their old hideout. Once a utopia for childhood summers, it was now an escape for listening to the radio, drinking, and smoking.

“Shut up trashmouth. Now would you please hurry up?” Eddie eyed Richie petulantly. The taller boy, by four inches to be exact, was nose deep in his closet. Richie shuffled through his clothes, making sure to take his sweet time. Richie liked to mess with everybody. It was his thing. But no one was quite as satisfying to annoy as Eddie, who had a pretty short temper and a quick wit.

“I don’t know why you’re hurrying, Bev said to get there at 11.” Richie settled on a sweatshirt, opting for the warmest option.

“Bull shit. She said 10,” Eddie argued. Richie rolled his eyes; it was impossible to tell Eddie he was wrong. He pulled his Damn Yankees t-shirt over his head and threw it across the room to join a pile of others. The boy shivered and reached for the sweatshirt, the winter chill palpable even indoors. He normally wouldn’t undress in front of anyone. He was a little thinner than average with no real muscle definition. He hated the dark hair that spread up from his pubic area onto his stomach. It’s as if part of his body was already a man while other parts reeked of puberty. Richie always thought he looked a little odd; with his mop of black hair, his prominent nose, not to mention his giant fishbowl glasses and big lips. He just felt awkward; so did most boys his age he assumed. But Eddie was his best friend; if he thought Richie looked weird, he wouldn’t say anything.

Eddie’s eyes flitted from the door to Richie’s naked torso at least ten times. He felt his chest get warm and red as he struggled to avert his gaze. He always thought Richie’s body was attractive. At least to him. Eddie didn’t grow much hair, so Richie seemed manly and sexy to him. Growing up he figured he was just jealous of Richie’s body…but in the past few months he realized jealousy wasn’t quite the emotion he was feeling when he saw his best friend out of his clothes.

“Like what you see?” Richie teased, noticing the shorter boy looking at him.

“What I want to see, asshole, is your butt out the door. Let’s go!” Eddie deflected. Richie huffed and pulled the sweatshirt over his head. He spun and linked his arm with Eddie’s.

“Fine, fine. Well my good chap shall we partake in a midnight stroll?” he asked in a subpar British impersonation.

They walked down the stairs and pulled on their coats, scarves, and hats. Derry winters were no joke, and at least one person died of hypothermia every year. The hideout was equipped with tons of blankets and a fire pit; but the walk there and back could be frigid. Richie smiled to himself as he watched Eddie wrap himself up in multiple layers. He had on what could only be described as a parka, complete with a thick scarf that could fully wrap around his neck and mouth three times. He looked like that little kid from _A Christmas Story._

 _Cute, cute, cute,_ Richie thought. This wasn’t a new thought either. Ever since Richie was thirteen he possessed a type of infatuation with the shorter boy. When he was younger he thought they were strong feelings built out of friendship. Of course he wanted to spend every moment with Eddie, he was fun and smart. That was normal, right? But as they aged, hormones destroyed his ability to rationalize his feelings; Richie came to the conclusion that he was in love with his best friend. And Eddie had grown into a handsome young man; especially once he started swimming.

Sonia Kaspbrak had read some article about how swimming was the best exercise for kids with asthma; so she allowed Eddie to join the swim team. This resulted Eddie’s lean body being carved with muscles. Not a bad view in Richie’s opinion…not bad as the subject of some wet dreams either. He was hopelessly in love with this dork; with his thick brunette hair and deep brown eyes.

“Alright marshmallow man, let’s head out,” Richie prompted. They walked out into the cold, the air sharp as a knife.

“Mother fucker,” Eddie hissed behind his scarf.

“Only yours, Eds,” Richie responded, leaping away from Eddie who attempted to slap him.

“Beep beep, Richie,” he pouted, the cold bringing down his mood. They walked in relative silence for a bit, their path illuminated by a full and bright moon. It was a bit of a way to walk, but Richie had gotten his car taken away for a month after his mother caught him smoking pot in his dad’s work shed. They wouldn’t have fit their childhood bikes anymore, so walking was the only way to go. Richie turned onto Neibolt Street, Eddie following him reluctantly.

No one in the Loser’s Club enjoyed walking down this street, especially not by _that_ house. But it was a great short cut, and Richie’s large teeth were already chattering noisily. Richie refused to look at the row of houses, but he made sure to walk between them and Eddie. Something about the house gave him a sense of dread; and not just because of what had happened there years beforean . It was more like impending doom type feeling; like of something that had not yet happened. They stayed silent; Eddie wouldn’t have been able to speak if he wanted to. He reached out to grab Richie’s gloved hand with his mitten, squeezing with an almost painful force. Richie kept his hand in Eddie’s; not releasing it until they were another block away from the house.

“Jesus señor, you could crush a peso with that grip,” Richie exclaimed in a shitty Spanish accent.

“After all these years, your voices never seem to get any better,” Eddie chuckled.

“Sir, I’m wounded” Richie exclaimed, grabbing at his heart. They were close to the hideout now; they just had to cross the kissing bridge and walk a few yards into the woods. Richie felt his face burn hot despite the nipping wind. He had written his and Eddie’s initials on the fence in a fit of teenage angst and longing. They had passed the bridge multiple times, but each time he feared Eddie would finally notice and put the pieces together.

Eddie sighed quietly; he remembered the day he first saw the R & E carved into the wood. Sometimes he liked to imagine that they stood for him and Richie. Most likely though, it was for some jackass named Rodney and his girlfriend Eleanor or some shit like that. Still, imagining the former made his heart swell and filled his stomach with comforting warmth.

“No sign of Bev’s car or Mike’s moped. Told you it was at 11.”

“Fuck off shit-for-brains. Mike lives across town and Beverly’s late for everything.” Eddie straddled over the fence and landed firmly on the other side. The two of them began walking through the crunching leaves to the hideout. “Ben, Bill, and Stan are probably already starting a fire.”

“Bet you five bucks we’re the only one’s there,” Richie challenged.

“You gotta deal, Tozier.”


	2. Warming Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Richie arrive before everyone else. They have a little heart to heart followed by some play fighting.

“Damn it,” Eddie huffed as he and Richie dropped down into the hidden club house.

“Pay your dumbass tax Eds,” Richie demanded, holding out a large calloused hand. Eddie sighed and reached into his pants pocket for his wallet, struggling to move aside all of his layers and grab anything with his mitten. Richie smiled as the shorter boy grew more and more frustrated, his cheeks were turning red and expletives were flowing.

“Fuck it, fuck it! You’ll get the money when we get back.”

“Bull shit, you’re just hoping I get high and forget. I’ll start a fire so you can take off your 30 pieces of clothes and get me that sweet, sweet cash.” Eddie rolled his eyes but didn’t protest. A fire sounded amazing. Richie pulled a pack of matches from his back pocket and set to work on the fire pit.

A few years ago they had opened up more of the clubhouse to allow ventilation, all thanks to Ben of course. They kept beer in a box in the corner; during most of the Derry months it acted as a sort of refrigerator. Blankets that they had gotten from Good Will and yard sales covered nearly all of the walls to provide some insulation. Warmer materials like sleeping bags and comforters were spread out across the floor. They were full of holes and stains, and the clubhouse itself was dusty and old; but the Loser’s Club viewed it as their home.

Eddie jumped in place as he watched Richie take some logs from a pile and start building. He bit his lip as he watched the taller boy lean down, his jeans stretching tight over his rear. For someone so thin, he had a pretty round ass; and Eddie once again was having difficulty averting his gaze. Richie arranged the kindling and struck a match, consuming the pit in large tongues of flames. The fire began to blaze hot and flooded the room with an orange glow.

Richie looked back at Eddie, and his heart thumped against his sternum. Eddie’s eyes were peeking out from his scarf, shining against the firelight. A few locks of his hair had fallen from his hat and swooped across his forehead. In Richie’s mind, Eddie was handsome but also beautiful. There was a softness about him that was so pretty, it made Richie feel like he was gagging on his own tongue. Richie drew a ragged breath and summoned up his usual persona.

“Alrighty pardner,” he began, impersonating John Wayne, “Now I think you oughta give me that bounty ya owe me. Five bucks or I’ll fill ya with lead.” He pointed finger guns at Eddie.

“Okay, whatever trashmouth.”

Eddie removed his gloves and stood over by the fire to warm up. He removed his scarf and the parka, setting them all to the side. Richie rolled his eyes, the kid still had on earmuffs, a shirt, a hoodie, and a coat. Probably even long johns.

“Here, take it,” Eddie pouted, pulling a five from his wallet. Richie grinned and snatched it away, stuffing the bill into his underwear.

“Making sure you can’t steal it back once I’m high as a kite Eddie boy.” He said in response to the shorter teen’s expression.

“Okay, that is beyond disgusting. Do you know where that’s been? Or how unhygienic that is for the person who gets it next?”

“Don’t worry I don’t have crabs, your mom and I got checked together.”

“Beep beep Richie.” Eddie turned his back to the fire, letting the flames warm his other side. Richie stood next to him, opting to face the flames instead. “It’s weird to think this is our last winter break,” Eddie said out of nowhere.

“They have winter breaks in college,” Richie responded.

“You know what I mean, Tozier. All of us, together. Going to the same school. Living in the same town.

“Yeah I guess,” Richie conceded. He knew what Eddie was worried about. Beverly was going to Oregon. Ben had a plethora of schools to choose from. Bill wanted to go to New York. Stan always said he’d go to school somewhere warmer. Mike probably would stay, he had the farm. Richie…hell he had no clue what he was actually going to do once he graduated. He always joked that he’d get his diploma, walk of the stage, and keep on walking till he was out of Maine.

“I just don’t want to get left behind,” Eddie said quietly, his eyes cast to the ground. Eddie was going to Derry community college, most likely because Sonia wanted to keep an eye on him. Richie couldn’t understand how Eddie dealt with her on a daily basis; it had to be suffocating.

“You won’t,” Richie promised. He looked down to see that his hand was a mere inch away from Eddie’s. He wanted to reach out a take it, squeeze it so that Eddie knew he would always be there for him. In a rare moment of seriousness, Richie added, “you know I’d take you with me.” Eddie looked up at him, his brown eyes wide and shadowed in darkness.

“Stop joking,” Eddie huffed. The firelight reflected wildly off of Richie’s glasses. Eddie thought he almost looked angelic.

“I’m not. Never about that.” Richie gripped Eddie’s shoulder and squeezed, doing his best to reassure his friend. They looked at each other for a few moments longer. Eddie was so damn beautiful; Richie would have given anything to kiss the pout from his mouth. But Richie wasn’t smooth and he didn’t feel that brave. So he opted for, “but your mom can’t come. I’m not ready to be your step dad.”

“You’re such a fucking asshole,” Eddie yelled, but a smile was threatening to break on his face. He shoved Richie, sending him flying into the pile of pillows and comforters. Richie hopped to his feet grinning, happy that he broke Eddie out of his slump, for the moment at least.

“Let’s get ready to rumble! Eddie Spaghetti, lightweight champion of the North East faces off against Trashmouth Tozier in the showdown of the century!!!” Eddie came at him, tackling him to the floor. Richie wrapped his arms around the shorter boy and rolled, ensuring he was the one on top. But Eddie was stronger than he looked, and trying to pin him was easier said than done. Eddie pushed up on Richie’s chest, nearly hoisting him into the air. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist and rolled with all of his might so he was back on top straddling the taller boy. He pushed on Richie’s shoulders, attempting to pin him. The two of them were panting heavily, and Richie could smell the mint on Eddie’s breath. The kid always smelled like he had just brushed his teeth. And feeling Eddie’s weight on top of him…it was intoxicating.

To Richie’s horror, he could feel himself growing hard. His cock twitched and strained against the confines of his jeans. Eddie shifted slightly, his ass brushing up against Richie’s erection. The two boys froze, and time seemed to stand still. _Holy fuck, he noticed!_ Richie was mortified. Before Eddie could utter a word, a voice from above called down.

“Hey guys, aren’t you a bit early?” called Ben. Eddie climbed off of Richie in a flash, and Richie remained on the floor, wishing he could disappear.


	3. Liquid Courage and Smoke Serum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a few beers, Eddie confronts Richie, who has been smoking a lot of pot.

“What’s up haystack?” Richie greeted, his voice cracking. _Fucking perfect, add to the humiliation._ Ben hopped down into the club house with surprising ease. He had started eating better around a year ago; even went running. Honestly, his nick name didn’t quite work anymore seeing as Ben Hanscom was only about 15 pounds overweight.

“Well, I was just gonna get the fire started before everyone got here.” Ben finally noticed Richie on the floor. “What’s up with Richie?” he whispered to Eddie.

“Oh um…wrestling. I beat him at wrestling, and he’s pouting,” Eddie responded, his face blushing a deep pink. Hopefully Ben thought it was flushed from the fire.

“Nice, Eddie. I guess all that swimming has paid off.” Eddie smiled shyly. He had taken 5th place at the county swim meet; not too bad for a loser with asthma. “Well I heard Bill’s car as I was walking, and I think Stan carpooled with him.”

“Sounds great, let’s get this party started,” Richie responded, leaving his shame on the floor. A few puffs of pot and hopefully he wouldn’t even remember what happened.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Stop hogging it Richie, c’mon,” Beverly protested, snatching the blunt away.

“Ugh fine, you’re lucky I’m generous Bev.” Beverly rolled her eyes at this and took a deep inhale.

“Generous? It’s my stash, trashmouth!” The Loser’s Club was all together with their comforters and sleeping bags around the fire. Ben and Beverly sat close while Stan was perched between Bill and Mike. Richie and Eddie sat on complete opposite sides of the pit. Eddie was white knuckling a beer, his eyes focused on the flames. _You’re overthinking. Stop overthinking you idiot, just relax… god dammit!_

Eddie took a swig of his beer without thinking. He never smoked pot because of his assumed asthma, but he also didn’t drink this much. He only needed about one and a half to feel a little buzzed. His mind however was somewhere else, and he had unconsciously drained his fourth beer of the evening. Mike looked over to the thinner man and furrowed his brows.

“You okay, Eddie? That’s beer number five,” he prompted. Stan looked over, his curly hair flattened by a cap he had received for Hanukah.

“Shit, I’ve never seen him drink more than two,” Stan added, his eyes more suspicious than Mike’s.

“Why is everyone so interested in my alcohol?” Eddie asked defensively. Richie looked over but said nothing. He had been actively trying to avoid Eddie since the rest of the Loser’s Club had arrived.

“What does it matter? It’s winter break, let him enjoy himself,” Bill said, one sentence settling the entire question. He grabbed the blunt from Beverly and took a deep inhale. Bill Denbrough was still their fearless leader, and his charisma never seemed to falter. Even more so now that his stutter had all but dissipated, only rising up when he was flustered. Eddie gave a small smile to Bill, who shot back an almost indiscernible nod. The group continued talking about Christmas plans and how terrible finals had been, but Eddie couldn’t keep his mind from racing.

He knew what he had felt. Richie had definitely had an erection. And it had definitely rubbed deliciously over Eddie’s ass. And Eddie definitely had a semi just from thinking about it. What he didn’t know was what it all meant. He had been racking his brain sorting through the possibilities, and then the following courses of action, and finally the possible outcomes. Some rudimentary risk assessment. Maybe he was being stupid for even thinking it could mean anything. Richie was a teenage boy and there was a lot of friction. It was simple biology.

Eddie rolled his eyes; like he could make anybody hard. He figured he possessed as much sex appeal as a blanket. But still, the thought lingered in his brain; fantasies entered his body through every sip of beer. Richie did treat Eddie differently than the others… and there were times he could have sworn he caught Richie staring at him. Maybe even gazing. They had a bond that was different from the other Losers, and he briefly wondered what the reason for that might be. Reciprocated feelings hadn’t been in the realm of possibility…at least not previously. But if for the sake of argument, Richard Tozier got a boner because he, Edward Kaspbrak, had been on top of him…Eddie’s heart slammed painfully against his chest just to think of it.

Eddie glanced over at Richie, who seemed to be doing everything in his power to pretend like he didn’t exist. The beer was making Eddie’s body feel like one big vibration. His friends looked slightly blurry and he had gotten so warm he was now down to just his long sleeve shirt.

“SSsup Mike?” He greeted. Mike was sipping on a beer as he sat down next to Eddie.

“Bill, Stan, and Ben are gonna play poker. I learned from last time that Ben is unbeatable, and Stan makes Bill really competitive.”

“Mmm yeah, it’s like playing arcade with R-Richie.” Eddie knew his words were slurring but he had no idea how to make it stop. He also felt the corners of his mouth creep up into a goofy smile when he said Richie’s name.

“Yeah about him,” Mike began, tilting his head over to Richie who was now giggling madly with Beverly, “are you guys good?”

“Why would you say that?” Eddie accused a little too quickly. Mike pressed his lips together in a thin line, debating whether he should push anymore than that.

“You two are usually attached at the hip, I guess.”

“Oh uh- asthma. My asthma’s been acting up, don’t wanna be around the smoke,” Eddie lied, knowing how lame that sounded as he sat 10 inches away from an open fire pit. Mike nodded, deciding if Eddie didn’t want to talk about it, he wasn’t going to push it.

“How’s swim team?”

“Good. I’m really fast you know?” Eddie responded with unusual confidence. This made Mike laugh, and he took another swig of his beer. “The guys. You know they’re jerks and shit but, hey. They don’t shove me into lockers anymore. I bring up our rankings…m’ too important to damage.”

“I’m real proud of you, Eddie.” Eddie leaned his head on Mike’s shoulder.

“Thanks man.”

Across the fire pit Beverly and Richie were standing now, hushing their voices from the three playing poker. They were attempting to stifle their laughter, and Richie was softly snorting.

“You have to answer! You gotta,” Beverly urged.

“I’m too high for this,” he snorted again. “Pot’s like my truth serum.”

“I know, I know! Now answer.”

“The last time I masturbated was this afternoon.” Beverly’s eyes widened and she cupped her mouth.

“No way,” she giggled. She furrowed her brows, “wait wasn’t Eddie with you all day?”

“Nope, wasn’t part of the question,” Richie dismissed. He may be high, but he could still think quickly, thank God. Richie may or may not have jacked off just minutes before Eddie had arrived. And he may or may not have done it because it turned him on to think about getting caught. And he may or may not have died from embarrassment if Beverly had learned any of that. “Alright, truth or dare?”

“Hmmm, dare.” Beverly grinned, her eyes just as red as her hair.

“Oo, I do declare Miss Marsh,” he began in his southern colonel accent, “you are so very full of surprises.” Beverly play punched him. “Okay. I dare you to…sit in the lap of the cutest guy here.”

“Oh, you’re bad Tozier.” To his surprise she waltzed confidently over to the three boys playing poker, emboldened by a mix of weed and beer. She put a shushing fingers to her lips at Richie, and then gingerly sat down in Ben’s lap. She claimed to be cold and asked how the game was going. _Well I’ll be damned. If only Ben knew._

Richie bit his lip and nervously glanced over at Eddie. The two boys locked eyes momentarily, but Richie retreated to look at his shoes, causing Eddie to take another chug of beer. Richie sighed to himself and hopped into the hammock a few feet away from the fire pit. He took a long drag off the blunt, his muscles relaxing again. He closed his eyes, his head feeling light and free now.

“Move over,” said a voice near his feet. Richie’s eyes popped open, his breath stopping momentarily. Eddie was standing by the hammock, swaying slightly from the effects of the alcohol.

“Eds, we both barely fit in this when we were kids.”

“Yeah, jackass. That’s why I need you to move over.” Richie’s face felt too hot. He could never truly say no to Eddie, but he didn’t trust himself being in such close proximity after what happened earlier. He hesitantly spread his legs to the sides of the hammock, allowing Eddie a space to crawl in. The shorter boy followed suit, putting his feet on either side of Richie’s torso. “So what were you and Bev talking about?”

“Truth or Dare.”

“I wanna play,” Eddie demanded, a wry smile on his lips. He felt a little dizzy, but his limbs were loose and warm.

“Fineeee. Do you wanna be the asker or the askee?” Richie’s hands hand found their way to the top of Eddie’s knees; both boys more touchy due to their clouded minds.

“I want to ask,” Eddie said quietly. His heart was pounding spastically, every inch of his skin covered in gooseflesh despite the fact that he was burning up. He needed to do this now before he completely lost his nerve. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Earlier,” Eddie began, licking his lips nervously. “When we were wrestling...”

“Mhhmm?” _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

“Did you get a boner from me…specifically?”

“Never mind I pick dare.” Richie’s head was swimming, and he didn’t realize that he was now gripping Eddie’s knees.

“I dare you to tell me the truth,” Eddie responded, his voice betraying anxiousness. Richie didn’t want to deal with this right now, but he also knew being high might make it easier to tell the truth. He wanted to tell the truth. Get it out there. If it went badly he could just say he didn’t remember and that he was probably just full of bullshit.

“Yes. It was from you, specifically.” Richie’s eyes looked enormous and vulnerable, all red and magnified behind his glasses. He bit his lip, waiting for any response from Eddie. The shorter boy’s breath hitched and he gave a smile that looked like…relief? He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Stanley.

“Alright, we’re all heading out and I’m giving everyone a ride home.” It was an order, not a request. Stanley prided himself in being the one that got everyone back safely after a night out.

“You got it Stan the man,” Richie answered, unable to take his eyes off of Eddie’s smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much if you are reading this fic. I've got lots of ideas, and I think I'm going to try and make it long with many chapters. As always feel free to comment, and follow me on tumblr at millenialmfa.


	4. Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally take a little slow out of the burn. Richie and Eddie arrive home and are alone again.

Stan drove slowly, not wanting to get pulled over while a bunch of underage drinkers and smokers filled the car. Bill’s car to be exact. Well, technically Bill’s mom’s minivan. The Loser’s liked to make fun of Bill for driving around in the mom mobile, but it was comfortable and was able to fit all of them. Bill was sitting up front with Stan, his head leaning out the window like a golden retriever. Ben and Beverly took the middle; Ben had fallen asleep on Beverly’s shoulder as she played with his hair. Mike sat between Eddie and Richie in the back row, blissfully unaware of the hormonal panicking on either side of him.

Eddie’s mind was reeling…Richie had gotten a boner because of him. He had gotten his best friend hard. He was having a difficult time believing the reality; he honestly was shocked that Richie had admitted it. So what now? Did this mean Richie liked him back in the same way? And what did that lead to? It seemed like each step just led to more uncertainties. On the other side of Mike, Richie’s mind was in tatters.

_Fuck. A smile? What the fuck does a smile mean? Fucking Stanley, Eddie was about to say something._ _Damn it I’m too high for this shit._ Richie’s head was in his hands, his leg bouncing obnoxiously. A smile could mean many things. Was it relief? Pity? Gas? At the moment, he was unable to decipher much of anything, and he was driving himself crazy.

One by one Stan dropped the Losers off, first Ben, then Beverly, followed by Mike. Mike crawled out of the back row, clapping Stanley on the shoulder.

“Thanks for the lift, I know it’s out of the way.”

“Not my gas,” Stan replied, giving a sly smile to Mike. Stanley cared about his friends too much to let any of them walk home. He would have biked each of them, one at a time, through the snow, if he had to. Mike waved at the car and walked down his drive. As Stan pulled back onto the main road he looked in the mirror at Eddie and Richie.

“Alright Eddie, your house next.”

“Eds is staying with me tonight. Don’t want Sonia to see him like this,” Richie responded, looking over to the shorter boy who was swaying in his seat.

“Ooo, she’d be so pissed,” Eddie commented, a small giggle bubbling up from his throat.

“Good call,” Stan responded. He continued to drive, the headlights barely necessary due to the light of the moon. Eddie watched as the trees dashed past his window, naked and lanky, black against the night sky. He always loved to see trees once the sun was down. They never looked quite real, more like sketches or paintings popping out from a scenic landscape.

Richie watched Eddie, noticing how he stuck his forehead to the glass to look out the window, the way his fingers twitched as he concentrated. Richie felt like he had rocks in his stomach, the anticipation of being alone with Eddie for the rest of the night building up into his throat. What was he going to do? Pretend none of this had happened? How could he? He had admitted that Eddie made him pop a boner…you don’t just ignore something like that, right? But in the back of his mind he reasoned that it couldn’t be all bad. Eddie could have gotten mad. He could have been grossed out or gotten out of the hammock, but he didn’t. He had smiled.

Richie bit his lip and scooted his hand across the. Eddie’s hand was in the middle of the seat tapping the leather unconsciously. Richie’s heart was beating wildly in his ears, contrasting from the sheer silence that filled the van. _Just do it, don’t be a pussy._ Richie pushed a little farther, just enough so that his fingernails grazed Eddie’s skin, just enough that it could be accidental. Eddie cleared his throat softly, keeping his face toward the window.

The shorter boy licked his lips. Richie’s hand was near his; was he doing it on purpose? Eddie spread his hand slightly, pushing his pinky a bit further in the taller boy’s direction. He felt Richie’s finger tips brush across the edge of his hand, a ghostly sensation radiating from the spot. Eddie took a shallow breath and flipped his hand over so his palm was up. Slowly, so slowly in fact that in Eddie’s drunken state he wasn’t sure it was happening, Richie’s fingertips slid up to match with Eddie’s. It tickled slightly, and it wasn’t a hand hold, but it was definitely intentional.

Richie fought his body’s urge to tremble, and he briefly wondered if a seventeen year old could have a stroke. Eddie was letting him touch him. They were in the back seat, and even though it was tentative, and even though it was minimal, it was on purpose. Richie couldn’t move. He was too scared to push any further, afraid of shattering the moment into unsalvageable pieces. But he couldn’t retract his hand. No matter how small the contact, his body needed it, his mind fed off of it, his heart was stuttering from it.

Richie was so consumed in the moment that he didn’t realize Stan had pulled in front of his house. The van had stopped for a few seconds without so much as a word from either boy in the back.

“Tozier, you forget your own house?” Stan asked. Richie and Eddie parted their fingers quickly as if they had been burned.

“Only because I’m so used to visiting your mom’s,” Richie quipped back. Stan rolled his eyes, but Bill chuckled to himself. Their leader was now curled up in the passenger’s seat with his eyes closed. Eddie moved first, his legs buckling like a newborn deer. He stabilized himself against the seats as he shimmied through the opening in the middle row. The shorter boy stumbled over his own feet briefly, and Richie instinctively reached out, grabbing his hips to keep him steady. Eddie blushed deeply but continued out the van, Richie’s hands on him the whole way.

“Alright guys, have a good night,” Stanley called from the driver’s window, peeling away from the driveway. Bill gave a half wave, his eyes still closed. Eddie gave a smile back and Richie playfully shot Stanley the bird.

Richie and Eddie walked up the sidewalk to the front door, both of them stumbling over each other.

“I think I drank too much,” Eddie said. “But it was funnn.” Richie snorted in response.

“Dude, you are such a lightweight.” As he said this Richie tripped over the top step and stumbled forward against the door. This earned a hysterical giggle from Eddie. “Oh shut it Kapsbrak, you’re way more gone than I am.”

“Bullshit man. Now open the door, it’s fucking cold.” Richie got out his key and unlocked it, giving a shushing finger to Eddie as they crept in. The possibility of getting caught and the lowered inhibitions unfortunately made everything utterly hilarious. Every misstep, every creak of the floorboards, had the two boys stifling their laughter as they tried to sneak up the stairs. They continued to shush each other obnoxiously as they ventured through the dark hallway to Richie’s door. Eddie opened it quickly, and the two boys heaved a sigh of relief once they had reached safety.

“Nailed it,” Richie declared, leaning against the wall.

“Sure,” Eddie dismissed with a chuckle. The two boys fell into silence; each worried that the other could hear his heartbeat. Eddie looked down at his feet and Richie nervously bit at a nail. Now what? “It’s late,” Eddie commented. Though his voice was barely audible it felt like an explosion in the silent vacuum that had developed.

“Yeah, we should go to bed I guess.” They both nodded at each other, but neither moved. Eddie shifted his weight, clearing his throat.

“Okay then.” He walked over to the other side of Richie’s bed and began to take off his shoes. Richie stayed on the wall, not realizing he was staring as Eddie removed his various layers of clothing. Eddie got down to his long sleeve shirt and jeans before looking at Richie, who quickly averted his gaze to something far less interesting on the floor. Eddie slipped out of his jeans and quickly hopped into the bed, covering up with the blanket. They normally slept in just their boxers, but after tonight Eddie felt a little more exposed than usual.

Richie began to undress as well, and Eddie leaned his head back on the pillow. The room began to rotate slightly, and he had to close his eyes to keep from feeling nauseous. After about a minute the lights went dark from behind his eye lids, and he felt the bed shift from the weight of Richie crawling in. Eddie rolled on his side and opened his eyes, surprised to see that Richie was also facing him. They never slept like this; it was always their backs to one another. The moon shone through the windowpane, illuminating Richie’s face and casting Eddie in darkness. He was glad, because he knew his face was beet red.

Richie’s glasses were off, and Eddie could see him squinting to try and focus. Richie was wearing a white tank top revealing bony shoulders and a dusting of dark chest hair, but the rest of him was covered up with a blanket. Eddie loved Richie’s glasses, but he liked the way his friend looked without them too. It was vulnerable and more stoic, he looked older. Maybe he liked it because the only time he saw it was at night, right before they both fell asleep.

Eddie’s head was still spinning, and his skin felt tingly. The air between the boys was electric, each particle of air buzzing with tense energy. Eddie wanted to say something, but nothing really seemed right. Instead, Richie spoke.

“Whatcha thinking about Eds?” Eddie bit his lip, and decided on telling the truth. At least part of it.

“How I can’t feel my face,” he chuckled. This earned a bit of a chortle from the taller boy. “For real, look.” Eddie flicked his cheek with his finger. “Absolutely nothing.”

“What about this?” Richie asked, poking Eddie right in the dimple. Eddie shook his head, giving a breathy giggle. Richie continued poking different parts of his friends face, earning a bunch of laughs. After the fifth poke, Richie laid his palm on Eddie’s cheek, his thumb gently tracing the boy’s bottom lip. Eddie’s breath hitched for a moment, but he shook his head ‘no’ again. Richie could feel the softness, and it intoxicated him with a new push of confidence. “How about this?” He shifted his body forward and pressed his lips to Eddie’s. It was only for a second, a peck really, but Richie’s body shuddered with excitement as he broke away.

Eddie’s mouth was hanging open as he struggled to breath. He eventually took a gulp, every nerve ending in his body firing. “Maybe,” Eddie answered. “Better try again, just in case.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. I wanted to delay the kiss to the next chapter, but I wanted it just as bad as you guys lol :p


	5. Shut Up and Kiss Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kiss extended. Richie and Eddie discuss their feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so patient. My boyfriend was in town and I didn't get around to writing. This chapter is a bit shorter, but I will try to update in a day or so.

Richie nodded slightly, his breathing shallow. He had just kissed his best friend, and for some reason the most beautiful boy in the world was asking him to do it again. He didn’t know if this was just Eddie being wasted, or maybe he was on the best trip of his life. But his lips were tingling, the phantom feeling of Eddie’s mouth on his lingering delightfully.

“Y-you sure?” he asked.

“Just shut up and kiss me,” Eddie whispered back, his words more certain than his voice. Richie wasn’t that familiar with kissing, he had kissed one or two people at parties when he was high or on a dare. But this was different. This one mattered. Eddie mattered.

Richie took a deep breath and summoned all of his memories of the romance movies he had been forced to watch with his sister. He reached out his hand and cradled the nape of Eddie’s neck, lightly tracing his fingers at the hair line. With his other hand he captured Eddie’s chin with his thumb and forefinger, tilting him up slightly. With a stammering heart and no air in his lungs, Richie leaned in and pressed his lips to Eddie’s. The shorter boy shuddered, but pushed back against Richie’s mouth with a warm intensity. Richie emitted a small gasp, his open mouth allowing Eddie to capture Richie’s bottom lip. He sucked on it timidly, his hands in tight fists at his sides.

“Shit,” Richie whispered into Eddie’s mouth. His entire body was humming with heat, and he had to focus on keeping his hands still. He didn’t want Eddie to know how bad he was trembling. Richie slipped his tongue out, tracing it along Eddie’s lips, asking for entry. In all those stupid movies, they always kissed with their mouths open, and when he saw their tongues touching it always made his stomach feel kind of funny.

Eddie complied, parting his mouth slightly for the taller boy. Richie entered Eddie’s mouth, exploring slowly and completely, wanting to taste every inch. He wanted to learn every cavern and dip, every ridge. He wanted Eddie’s mouth to be his. Eddie moaned, low and quiet, but Richie could hear it and it made his cock twitch.

Eddie retaliated now with his own tongue, meeting Richie’s. The feeling was new and odd, but it made Eddie’s skin break out in gooseflesh. He felt like he needed his inhaler, but he would be damned if he ruined this moment by puffing on some shit device that deep down he knew he didn’t need. He felt light and heavy, safe and dangerous, awkward and sexy all at the same time. He had dreamed about this moment on many nights, not only kissing Richie, but kissing anyone. The fact that it was with his best friend just seemed too good to be true. But if it was a dream, he had no intention of waking up.

Both boys shifted on the mattress, trying to alleviate pressure on their cocks. Except for their mouths and Richie’s hands, the boys weren’t’ touching, but that didn’t keep them from growing harder and harder. Eddie’s breathing had become faster and labored, and Richie couldn’t keep his hips from bucking slightly.

“Fffuck, Eds,” Richie whispered. “I think I need to stop.”

“Yeah, me too,” Eddie responded against the boy’s mouth. His member was painfully hard, and he didn’t want to start leaking precum through his boxers.

“Are you- um,” Richie withdrew his hands from Eddie, “hard?”

“Yeah…like really bad,” Eddie admitted, his cheeks burning.

“Should we…do something about it?”

“I don’t think I’m ready.” _Why the fuck did I say that?_ Eddie had imagined scenarios like this many times; jerking each other off, jerking off while in the same room, only one of them jerking both off. It was a common fantasy of his, and for some inexplicable reason he said no. He worried that Richie might think of him as a prude, but he couldn’t make himself say yes.

“That’s okay. I think I’d want to be sober anyway,” Richie offered, equal parts disappointed and relieved. “So what now?” Richie didn’t even know what the question meant. Did he mean as far as their boners, tonight, their relationship? He felt like everything had been thrust up into the air, and he was hoping Eddie was a better juggler than him.

“I think…I think this is a lot to process. Can we just ask each other some questions, maybe? Just try to make sense of everything again?” Richie nodded, his eyes focused on Eddie’s. They looked dark and glassy against the darkness.

“You go first,” Richie offered. Eddie licked his lips.

“Okay. Do you like me? I mean as more than a friend?”

“Eds! I just kissed you, would I do that if I didn’t like you?” Eddie just glared back at him, remembering the very few but still very painful nights where he was forced to watch Richie kiss other people. “Fuck, I get it don’t remind me. Okay, yes. I like you, like a lot.” Eddie felt some of the tenseness in his body dissipate. This wasn’t some drug induced fluke.

“I feel the same. Your turn.”

“How long? Like when did you figure out you liked me?” Richie asked. The fact that Eddie could like his obnoxious ass at all was a bit hard to believe, but for an extended period of time? That would be a miracle in itself.

“It’s been a few months. I realized…well I wasn’t really interested in girls. I kept waiting and waiting for it to happen, but it didn’t. Then I finally let myself look at you, really look at you in way that was more than just friends…I let myself see you as something more and it became kinda obvious, you know?”

“Wow, couldn’t resist my charm huh Eddie Spaghetti?”

“Don’t ruin it.”

“That’s how I got your moth-“

“Beep beep.”

“Yup. Copy that.” Richie shot Eddie an apologetic smile. “Your turn.”

“Have you ever…you know-“ Eddie stopped his question to make a lewd gesture with his hand as if he were jerking off, “to me?” Just seeing Eddie simulate it made Richie feel a warmth pool in his abdomen.

“Damn, that went from zero to a hundred,” Richie laughed nervously, his cheeks becoming as hot as Eddie’s. “Yeah. Since I was sixteen,” he admitted. “You?”

“Yeah, for a while now.” The two boys stared at each other, the moon shifting positions and making the room darker. There was a question that neither boy had asked. Maybe because the answer meant a change to everything they knew. But Eddie took a deep breath and decided that it needed to be addressed. “What does this mean for us? Are we…dating?” Richie took a deep breath and let out a ragged sigh.

“I don’t know. I want to be with you; I have no desire to date anyone else, but…”

“But it seems kind of risky in Derry?” Eddie finished. There had been a few ‘out’ people in Derry’s history. And even fewer that led happy lives because of it.

“What if…no label? Just know that I want you, and only you. I want to date you. Hell Eddie, I’d be the best boyfriend in the world to you, but-“

“-but we gotta be smart. I know. Out there, we’ll just be friends. But between the two of us, when we can be alone, I want to be yours.”

“Well damn Eds, you got me feeling all sappy and shit,” Richie responded, unable to contain the smile on his face. Eddie smirked and took Richie’s hand, interlocking their fingers together. The shorter boy felt his eyes growing heavy, and he blinked a few times. Richie watched, Eddie looking so vulnerable and comfortable, it made his heart ache. “It’s okay, go to sleep. I’m right behind you.”


	6. Morning Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie face each other the next morning and it doesn't take long for them to progress.

Eddie didn’t sleep well that night. He woke up every hour or so, each time confirming that yes, Richie really was holding his hand. Yes, they really had kissed. Yes, they really were together. Eddie looked at Richie, his hair messy and his mouth wide open as he slept. The taller looked so peaceful and relaxed, two words that most other people would never get to use to describe Richie Tozier.

Eventually the sun crept up over the windowsill, spilling its light into Richie’s bedroom. The light flooded across the floor, rising gently to greet the two sleeping boys in the bed. Richie stirred first, blinking fruitlessly against the blurriness. He looked down to see he was still holding Eddie’s hand, and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. Richie slowly rolled out of the bed, careful not to jostle the sleeping brunette. He put on his glasses with his free hand, and delicately unraveled his fingers from Eddie’s. After he was sure he didn’t wake the shorter boy he retreated out the door and down the hall to the bathroom.

Richie switched on the bathroom light and hastily locked the door behind him. He leaned against the counter and stared into the mirror. His hair was sticking out in every direction imaginable on one side and completely flattened to his skull on the other. He grimaced, realizing his morning breath smelt even worse than usual.

“Okay,” Richie started, addressing himself in the mirror. “We’re not gonna fuck this up, alright? You’ve somehow managed to get this far, just keep it up.” Richie could feel his body begin to tremble again, the nervous energy taking control. Richie took a few deep breaths, stabilizing himself. He quickly brushed his teeth, the intense mint tingling across his tongue. He attempted to fix his hair, brushing vigorously until it was semi presentable. “Good enough,” he muttered to himself.

He tiptoed back across the hall and cracked open the door. He peeked in to see Eddie sitting up in bed, rubbing his eyes against the bright morning. Richie walked in, clearing his throat softly.

“Hey,” Eddie responded, looking up quickly. His cheeks were flushed pink.

“Hey,” Richie answered back. He stood awkwardly by the closed door, his fingers twitching at his sides. They shared in the silence of the morning after, the moment punctuated by a brisk wind tapping at the window.

“Why is this so weird?” Eddie asked nervously. Richie couldn’t help but crack a smile

“I don’t know what you’re talking about; it beats making out with your mother.”

“Shut up!” Eddie retorted, attempting to stifle his laughter.

“I mean, on my end I finally got to kiss the hot Kaspbrak.”

“You’re a fucking moron.”

“I’m clearly upgrading.” Eddie rolled his eyes at this, but he gave Richie a shy smile.

“Never change, trashmouth.”

“Wouldn’t think of it. By some miracle of God, being exactly who I am got me you.” Richie walked over and sat down next to his best friend. His boyfriend. His best boyfriend? Eddie shoved Richie with his shoulder, but he continued to smile.

“So what now?”

“I definitely think we should make out.”

“I mean…do we tell anybody?” Eddie asked. He felt that they owed it to their friends. They all loved each other and he trusted them with things he’d never tell his own mother. Oh Jesus Christ his _mother_. If he could get through his life without her ever knowing about this, he’d be happy. Richie placed his hand on Eddie’s knee, rubbing his finger over the soft skin.

“We’ll tell them eventually, our friends I mean. Other than that, I don’t see it as anybody’s business but our own.” Eddie nodded in agreement and turned to look at Richie. He licked his lips and pushed a lock of Richie’s hair out of his eyes. Eddie closed the gap between them and pressed his lips to the taller boy. Richie gave a pleased hum, and thrust his hands into Eddie’s hair, marveling at the softness. Eddie kissed him slowly, moving his lips to craft perfectly to Richie’s. The taste of stale alcohol and mint toothpaste mingled between them.

Richie slipped his tongue past Eddie’s lips and pulled at the shorter boy’s hair. Eddie moaned in response and slipped his hand up under Richie’s tank top. The taller boy shivered at the contact; his stomach was ticklish and not used to being touched. Eddie traced a finger around Richie’s erect nipple, pinching it slightly as sucked on the taller boy’s tongue.

“Ah, Eds,” Richie moaned softly. He pushed Eddie down onto the bed and straddled his waist. He captured the brunette’s mouth, sucking mercilessly at Eddie’s bottom lip. Eddie reached around Richie, dragging his fingernails down the taller boy’s back. “Oh shit.”

“Hmm?”

“That felt…really hot.” Eddie smiled and kissed Richie, letting his tongue tangle and slide with his friend’s. Eddie drug his nails down Richie’s back again, delighted by the pleasured gasp he received. He let his hands roam farther down and he cupped the taller boy’s ass, gripping it through the thin boxers. “Aren’t you handsy?”

“Shut up,” Eddie breathed, his skin tingling with desire. Richie speckled kisses across the shorter boy’s jaw line, giving a small suck to his earlobe. Eddie gave a soft whine, but Richie wanted to hear him unrestrained. He began to kiss down Eddie’s throat, his lips warm and wet as he tickled the clavicles with his tongue. A soft moan escaped Eddie’s lips this time, but Richie persisted.

He bit at the base of Eddie’s neck where it connected to the shoulder. The boy under him squirmed and began to breathe heavily as Richie sucked at the spot. Richie then lowered his body down, allowing his ass to press firmly against Eddie’s crotch. The two teenagers moaned loudly together, Eddie’s cock hard and straining against the cotton of his boxer’s towards Richie’s ass. Richie circled his hips slightly, teasing Eddie with the friction.

“Oh fuck,” Eddie moaned out. The sound of Eddie’s pleasure aroused Richie more than he could have imagined. Making Eddie moan made him feel sexy, desirable. He was content to grind against Eddie for all of eternity before a harsh knock came at his door. The two boys froze for a moment before rolling gracelessly off of each other in a panic.

“Richard! Are you two up? You’ve got a bunch of chores to do today if you want your car back. Don’t forget,” came the voice of his mother from behind the door.

“Yep, hear you loud and clear!” Richie called back, his voice cracking slightly. He looked over to Eddie who was lying on the bed with his hands covering his face, a distinct tent in his boxers.

“That was perhaps the scariest moment of my life,” Eddie muttered. “And I beat up a fucking demonic clown once.” Richie laughed at this and stood up to get changed.

“Always full of good chucks ain’t ya Eds?”

“That didn’t scare you?” he demanded, sitting back up in the bed.

“Fuck yeah it did… but I get turned on by the danger,” he joked. Eddie just glared at him, his mouth drawn down in a pout. “I have an idea, how about I take you out tomorrow?”

“I’m listening.”

“We can go somewhere…private,” Richie leaded. Eddie grinned.

“Alright Tozier, you got me intrigued.”

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow night at 6 okay?”

“It’s a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading <3 What do ya'll think of the chapter lengths so far?


	7. The Date: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie has planned a sweet and romantic date for Eddie.

Eddie sat on his bed, shaking his leg impatiently. The time on his clock clicked by slowly, and every minute he waited was agonizingly painful. He had showered two hours ago, gotten dressed right after that, applied deodorant three times, and brushed his teeth twice. For the past hour and a half he had sat, anticipating Richie’s arrival.

He was excited of course; he had never actually been on a date before. But some self deprecating part of Eddie’s brain made him insanely nervous. What if it didn’t go well? What if Richie realized that just because they were best friends didn’t mean he was boyfriend material? Calling it a ‘date’ had added unintended pressure to the whole situation. Eddie sighed, placing his head in his hands. _Stop thinking this way. Richie likes you, nothing could change that._

With about five minutes to go, Eddie decided to head downstairs and wait for Richie outside. It was well below freezing, but he needed some cold air to get him out of his head. Eddie threw on his winter coat and trotted down the stairs for the front door. He tried not to make a big deal of his exit, but his mother was vigilant, always perched on her recliner in perfect view of the door.

“And where are you going Eddie-Bear?” Sonia called. Eddie bit at his lip and turned to face his mother.

“Just hanging out with my friends.”

“But Eddie, I thought I could cook dinner for us and we could watch something.” Sonia Kaspbrak was not necessarily a bad person. Not even a bad mother. But no one would award her Mother of the Year either. She was needy and overbearing; not to mention the whole issue with giving Eddie medicine he didn’t really need.

Eddie had a hard time staying angry with her though. He had seen pictures of her and his father, when he was still alive. The love they had for each other seemed to leap out of the photographs and caress you right on the cheek. His mother had been beautiful; she was overweight then too, but her hair hadn’t grayed as much and she dressed herself well. She seemed to glow back then, but after his father had died, she seemed to dull. Any dim light she had for life was held in Eddie, flickering cautiously against anything that could possible blow it out. Eddie had always wondered what it was like to love someone that much. How it was possible that so much of you could be lost and twisted from their absence.

“Ma, I was home all yesterday and today, it’ll just be a few hours,” his tone bordered on pleading, and he hated himself for it.

“I don’t know Eddie, it’s so cold out there. You don’t want pneumonia or hypothermia, do you?”

“No mom, but I’ll be with Richie, and his car has a heater.”

“Oh, Richie.” She didn’t say anything else, but the look on her face was clear as ever. _Why can’t you be friends with someone less trashy?_

“And Stanley,” he added quickly, his neck turning a slight pink from his lie. His mother tolerated Stanley the most out of his friends; he was respectful and quiet and always looked extremely clean.

“I guess that would be okay,” she said a bit sadly. Eddie never could tell if she really was that sad, or if she was just trying to manipulate him. He suspected that deep down she really didn’t know either. “Don’t be home too late, okay?”

“I promise. Love you!” He quickly exited through the door before she could change her mind. He took a deep breath once he was outside, the cold air making his lungs ache. He jumped up and down a few times, trying to keep his body heat steady as he waited. To his surprise, Richie rolled up just moments later in his ’87 Ford Bronco. Eddie smiled to himself; Tozier was never early. The shorter boy sprinted across the yard as if racing the setting sun. The light had all but disappeared as Eddie hopped into the car, shutting the door quickly behind him.

“Hey,” Richie greeted, a large grin on his face.

“Hey, what are you smiling like that for?” Richie winked at Eddie and grabbed him by the hand as he pulled off.

“If you were on a date with literally the hottest guy in school, you’d be smiling too.” Eddie rolled his eyes, but he felt himself blush at the compliment. Richie turned down the street and was stopped at a red light.

“So what does this date entail?” Eddie asked.

“Okay, well…It’s kind of cheesy, and maybe a bit lame. But I thought we could drive around and look at Christmas lights together.”

“Rich-”

“I know, it’s not a nice dinner or a movie. I’m kinda broke, but I made us hot chocolate,” Richie pointed to the cups in the holder between them, “and I even brought you flowers.” Richie reached back and produced a tuft of flowers from the back seat. They were snowdrops, delicate and white, that had clearly been snatched from someone’s garden.

“Rich, that all sounds perfect,” Eddie responded, taking the flowers in his hands. The light turned green and as Richie sped down the road, Eddie lifted up the bouquet to his nose, nuzzling against the soft petals as he smelled the fragrance. “You should go to the rich people neighborhoods; they always have the best decorations.”

“Way ahead of you Ed’s. I scoped out the perfect route last night.”

“So how many chores did you have to do to get your car back?”

“Ugh, what didn’t I do? Cleaned every single bathroom, vacuumed the entire house, raked outside in the blistering cold, even helped my mom with grocery shopping…but hey, it was worth it.” Richie pinched Eddie’s cheek, earning himself a punch in the arm. “Excuse you sir, it’s not nice to hit.”

“Oh, my bad,” Eddie retorted, opting to flick Richie on the side of the head.

“You know what? I could report you. I think that counts as domestic abuse now, Eds.”

“Go ahead Richie, and I’ll show them what you left on my neck.”

“What in the hell are you talking about?” Eddie sighed dramatically and put his flowers in his lap. He undid his jacket and pulled his sweater collar to the side to reveal a purple hickey at the crook between his shoulder and neck. “Oh damn, that’s hot.”

“You’re lucky it’s winter and I can cover it up with a bunch of layers.”

“And what if it wasn’t winter?”

“I’d give you one to match,” Eddie huffed.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Richie responded, his wide grin refusing to leave his face. He pulled into a neighborhood that had large houses complete with expansive lawns. The first house to begin their date was decorated in all white lights, delicate bulbs dotting the edges of the roof and trailing along the windows and doors.

“I hate this town,” Eddie began, “but damn if it doesn’t look pretty at Christmas.” Richie took a sip of his hot chocolate, nodding in agreement. The sweet liquid warmed up his throat, helping his whole body loosen up. As they drove, Eddie kept the flowers in his lap, refusing to put them down. Richie would not find out for another twenty three years that later that same night, Eddie would press one of the flowers into a journal. And Eddie wouldn’t remember the secret inscription he left on the page underneath the pressed petals.

They drove slowly through the neighborhood, pointing at their favorite houses and shaming those that didn’t even try to decorate. Richie enjoyed the houses with colorful lights and crazy lawn ornaments strewn across the yard. Eddie liked the uniform and simplistic houses; the ones with a consistent color scheme that made them look like a gingerbread house. As they drove through the night, admiring home after home, a sprinkling of snow began to dust over Derry. The flakes were thick and fluffy, and Richie chuckled as he watched Eddie roll down his window to stick out his tongue to catch one.

Christmas music played over Richie’s radio, the volume turned down just enough so that it couldn’t overpower their conversation. Richie sang along to quite a few of them, testing out his different voices and impersonations as he did. Eddie thought that Richie had a pretty decent voice when he actually refrained from the odd accents.

“Whoa, look at that house,” Eddie gasped. It was the biggest house they had seen so far, complete with three stories and lined from base to roof in lights.

“I’m gonna live in a house that big someday. But somewhere cool, like in New York or Colorado or Los Angeles,” Richie decided. A certain decoration caught his eye.

“Those are all pretty far away,” Eddie mused, finishing off his hot chocolate. “Probably won’t even remember this place.” _Or me._

“Oh please, you’ll be enough of a reminder.”

“Me?”

“Duh dumbass; I’m not living in a big house like that all alone.” Eddie was silent for a moment, a feeling of warmth overtaking his form.

“Thanks, Richie,” he responded sincerely. Richie smiled and leaned in to give him a quick peck, his lips sweet and soft. Before Eddie could react, Richie was out of the car running across the lawn. “What in the hell?” Eddie muttered to himself. His eyes widened as he watched Richie move around the light-up reindeer in the yard, posing them into questionable positions.

“How’s that for some reindeer games?” Richie asked breathlessly as he hopped back into the car. The longer Eddie looked at the glowing reindeer humping each other, the funnier it got.

“You’re such a fucking weirdo,” he answered, snorting loudly at his friend’s absurdity.

“But hey, it makes you laugh Kaspbrak.” Richie pulled away quickly before the owner could come out and yell at them. He drove through the darkness, the vortex of snowflakes making it look like they were traveling through space the way they did in _Star Wars_.

“So, where to now?” Eddie asked after a few minutes. He noticed that Richie had fallen uncharacteristically silent.

“I –um, well I thought we could go somewhere more…private,” he answered nervously. His cheeks were turning scarlet as he spoke. Eddie felt his chest constrict, a familiar and intense heat rising up from his abdomen.

“I’d like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate you all!


	8. The Date: Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically I finally gave you guys a bit of smut. Thanks for being patient ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words in bold and italics is the song playing on the car radio. I also included a link of what Richie's car looks like.  
> https://classiccars.com/listings/view/1177768/1987-ford-bronco-for-sale-in-holland-michigan-49423

They drove in silence for a while, each boy consumed with his own thoughts of how the date would end. Richie’s palms were sweating, and he tried to inconspicuously wipe them on the steering wheel. He was excited, his entire body in flames of anticipation, but he was nervous too. Kissing was pretty easy to figure out, but he knew for a fact that neither he nor Eddie had gone farther than that. He just hoped he was good at that other stuff; especially after having fantasized for so long about it.

Eddie was shaking his leg again as he sat in the passenger’s seat. His whole body felt warm, like his blood vessels were sizzling beneath his skin. He could already feel the beginnings of an erection stirring deep within him. He looked over to the taller boy driving and bit his lip. _Fuck, I want him so bad._ Eddie looked out the window, the snow falling heavy now, painting Derry in white. He realized that Richie was driving them towards the high school.

“The high school is somewhere private?” Eddie asked, eyeing Richie.

“Oh c’mon, there’s nowhere more deserted on winter break. Sane people steer clear of school on vacation. Lucky for you Eddie Spaghetti, I’m a little kooky.”

“You can say that again,” Eddie snorted. Richie drove into the parking lot behind the school and parked far away under the street lamp that had stopped working two years ago. Eddie looked around and it was indeed deserted. He figured that even if someone were to pass by, they would completely miss the ford bronco in the darkness. Richie set the car in park, but left it running so that they wouldn’t freeze to death. Richie fiddled with the knobs of the radio, the chipper Christmas music replaced by classic rock.

“I’m not sure I really want to hear _Mr. Grinch_ while I grind on you,” Richie joked, a nervous giggle caught in his larynx.

“Or _Frosty the Snowman_ while I pull your hair,” Eddie mused, mostly to himself. Richie shifted in his seat, turning so that his torso was facing the shorter boy.

“Hmm, didn’t peg you for a hair puller.”

“Shut up, trashmouth.”

“Kinky little bastard aren’t ya?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Maybe a family trait?” Eddie rolled his eyes and lunged forward at the taller boy. He thrust his long fingers into the thick locks, grabbing tight as he pulled Richie’s head back. Eddie leaned over and whispered in Richie’s ear, his lips tickling at the cartilage.

“Beep beep, Richie.” Eddie captured Richie’s mouth, pressing his lips firmly against the other boy’s. Richie moaned softly, surprised at his friend’s forwardness. He kissed back eagerly, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s torso. They slid their tongues against each other, battling for dominance as they invaded each other’s mouths. Richie whimpered, his cock growing painfully hard against his jeans. He wanted Eddie’s touch, needed him.

**_I can’t fight this feeling any longer, and yet I’m still afraid to let it flow._**

“Let’s go to the back,” Eddie suggested, his voice breathy and shallow. Richie nuzzled his forehead against Eddie’s before nodding in agreement. The two boys scrambled to the middle row before squeezing gracelessly up over the top of the back seats to the bed of the trunk. Richie had clearly anticipated this due to the blankets that were spread out.

**_What started out as friendship has grown stronger, I only wish I had the strength to let it show._**

Richie sat against the side of the car, and Eddie quickly climbed into his lap. He caressed Richie’s face with his hand, the taller boy leaning into the delicate touch.

“Come here, Tozier,” Eddie whispered, bending down to take Richie’s mouth again. Eddie kissed him slowly and carefully, savoring every second. Richie managed to undo Eddie’s coat, pushing it off his shoulders as the shorter boy sucked on his lower lip. Eddie continued, biting and sucking as Richie grabbed the bottom hem of his sweater. Eddie broke the kiss just long enough for Richie to lift the sweater up over his head and toss it into one of the seats. Eddie gazed at his friend breathlessly, his hair was messed up and his lips were puffy and swollen. “Wow,” he admired. He attempted to pull Richie’s sweatshirt off of him, but the taller boy grabbed his wrists.

**_I tell myself that I can’t hold out forever. I said there is no reason for my fear._**

Richie was overwhelmed by Eddie’s body. His skin was so smooth, punctuated with subtle muscles that seemed to ripple beneath the skin. His pink nipples were erect and Richie wanted nothing more than to suck on them. He was thin as always, but swim team had given him a more athletic tone. He was so damn gorgeous, and Richie felt…inferior.

“Hey,” Eddie whispered, “I want to see you. I think you’re so fucking hot, Rich.” Richie’s heart was pounding so hard he was sure Eddie would feel it reverberate through his body. He shut his eyes tight, hoping it would help with his embarrassment.

“Okay, Eds. Go ahead,” he answered. Eddie pulled off Richie’s shirts, exposing his naked torso.

**_‘Cause I feel so secure when we’re together. You give my life direction, you make everything so clear._ **

The shorter boy crawled off of Richie and got on his hands and knees in front of him. Eddie licked at his neck, kissing across to his Adam’s apple.

“I think this is hot,” Eddie commented. He continued down, leaving fiery traces with each kiss. He licked at Richie’s pronounced clavicle. “And this.” He stopped at a nipple, flicking it with his tongue to earn a pleasured hiss from Richie. “Definitely that.” He then lowered his head to kiss along Richie’s stomach, nosing at the happy trail peeking out from the top of his jeans. “I really like this, too.”

Richie moaned softly, leaning his had back against the side of the car. How could he get so lucky? Eddie Kaspbrak was marveling over _his_ body. Was just inches away from _his cock._ He was so hard now, his bulge more than evident through his jeans. Richie took of his glasses and placed them to the side before lifting up Eddie’s chin for a kiss.

**_And even as I wander, I’m keeping you in sight. You’re a candle in the window on a cold dark winter’s night._ **

Snow had begun to collect and pile up on the windshield of the car, encasing the two teenagers in their own secret world. Eddie grabbed Richie, pulling him down to lie next to him. Richie ran his hands up and down Eddie’s firm body appreciatively. The shorter boy pressed himself flush with Richie, their naked torsos rubbing together as well as their erections.

“Oh fuck,” Richie breathed, pushing his hips firmly against Eddie’s. They grinded on each other, enjoying the friction. Eddie cupped the back of Richie’s head, pressing their foreheads together as they shared shallow breaths.

“You feel so fucking good, Rich.”

“Say my name again.”

“Richie. Mmm, Richie!”

“Fuck, Eds…can I touch you?”

**_And I’m getting closer than I ever thought I might. And I can’t fight this feeling anymore._ **

Eddie was silent, but he quickly undid his jeans, lowering them just enough to let his cock slip out from his boxers. “Do you want me to touch you too?” he asked, his voice barely audible over the radio.

“Only if you want to.”

“I do.” Richie followed suit, pulling out his cock. The two boys were quiet for a moment, evaluating each other. Eddie’s was an impressive length, a bit longer than Richie’s. The taller boy was thick though, his cock large and attractive. The two boys lay on their backs, reaching over to grab the other’s erection. Eddie swiped his thumb over the slit to spread the pre cum already leaking from Richie’s cock. Eddie turned his head to look at Richie, whose head was tilted back with eyes closed in pleasure as he took a ragged breath.

They began to pump their hands, slowly at first to really enjoy how the other boy’s member felt in their hands. Their pace accelerated quickly though, both eager and aroused. Eddie arched his back, thrusting his hips in time with Richie’s pumps.

“You’re so fucking sexy- feel so good,” Eddie moaned loudly, his voice unrestrained and desperate.

“Oh my god, Eds. Don’t stop. Shit.” They continued pumping, each feeling their muscles tighten in anticipation of release. The air inside the car was thick and primal, the radio now blasting _You Shook Me All Night Long._ The two moaned, the sounds intertwining like smoke in the atmosphere.

“Getting close.”

“Yeah, just a few more-” Richie couldn’t finish his thought; his entire body was hot as it built higher and higher. Eddie came first, his hips twitching erratically as he came all over Richie’s hand. The sound of Eddie’s pleasure sent Richie over, and he went spiraling into his orgasm. They spent minutes just breathing, recovering together from their first sexual experience.

“Wow,” Eddie whispered eventually.

“Why is it so much hotter than doing it yourself?” Richie mused, his smile lazy and goofy. He looked over to Eddie who was examining his hand. “Just wipe it on the blanket; I’ll sneak it into the laundry tonight.”

“Hey Rich?”

“Yes my lovely spaghetti?” The shorter boy rolled his eyes, but cracked a genuine smile.

“Thanks for the date.”

“It was my pleasure…literally.”

“Stop.” Richie groaned and propped himself up on his elbows.

“I hate to say this, but let’s get you home. I want to keep Sonia as happy as possible with me.”

“I’ll see you soon though?” Eddie asked. Christmas was in two days, so he wasn’t sure when he’d get to see Richie or any of the Loser’s Club again.

“Sooner than you think. I may just shimmy down your chimney and pay you a visit Eddie boy.”


	9. Family Matters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie becomes overwhelmed with the opinions of his family and breaks down.
> 
> See beginning notes for trigger warnings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning:  
> *Offensive language  
> *Homophobic language  
> *Some disturbing dialogue for sensitive readers  
> *Emotional Hurt  
> *Angst

The next two days dragged by for Richie. His grandparents had come into town, and his mother and father were feigning a fully functioning family unit. He wasn’t allowed to go see his friends because every moment had to be filled with quality bonding. Really this meant that his mother didn’t want nana to judge her for her overly independent and quirky offspring.

Though his house felt stifling, he didn’t mind his grandparents all that much. His grandfather was funny and told inappropriate jokes while nana cooked circles around his own mother. He even checked his weight and saw that he had gained a pound after a year of stagnation. Eddie would never believe it.

He preferred them to his own parents honestly; at least his nana didn’t seem uncomfortable talking to him the way his own mother did. But on Christmas Eve, after about three bottles of wine between the adults, opinions began to flow loosely around the tree.

“You would not believe how badly our town is going to shit,” his grandfather muttered.

“Dad, language,” his mom chastised, nose deep in her wine. The lights from the tree reflected against glass, casting greens and pinks across her face.

“Well, he’s right. There’s been some… new businesses in our area,” nana added. Richie smirked to himself, assuming they meant sex shops and tattoo parlors. He pictured his nana, horrified at the sight of a sinful shop daring to open right next to her favorite craft store.

“Fucking fairy central now. Gay bars along the strip, not to mention fucking cocksuckers at the store, the gas station, you name it. Every where you turn…another fudge packer.” Richie felt a lump begin to swell behind his throat. He had never heard his grandfather use words like that.

“Damn, that’s a shame,” his father had answered, pouring himself yet another glass. “Yeah you don’t find any of that in Derry.” 

“Oh?” his nana responded.

“Let’s just say we know how to treat fags in Derry,” his father answered firmly. His mother had been quiet through the course of the conversation, chewing her lips as she gazed into the glass. Richie at that point had turned red, from equal parts embarrassment and rage. His nose wrinkled as if he had sniffed something foul.

“Darling, maybe this isn’t the best-“ his mother had began.

“Oh yeah, back in the day if you find a faggot, you tie him to the back of your truck and take him for a little ride.” Richie’s eyes had begun to burn behind his glasses, tears threatening. He had definitely never heard his dad talk like that before; it was despicable. Frightening. His chest was tight and breathing began to feel like a chore. He always knew Derry wasn’t friendly to those deemed as different…but it never really struck him until now that he was included in that. And it never really occurred to him that his own family; his family that seemed disinterested, lame, harmless…could be one of those unfriendly citizens of Derry.

“Honey…Richie….Richard!” his mother whispered, eventually pulling the teenager from his thoughts. He glanced at his mother, her eyes tired and glassy. Richie bit on his cheek, attempting to keep himself stoic. “Why don’t you go upstairs? You’ve spent all day with the adults, I’m sure you just want to listen to music or something…right?” she led under her breath. His father and grandparents were still talking, not paying much attention. Richie furrowed his brows and slowly nodded his head, seeing that his mother was giving him a genuine escape from this familial hell she had previously forced on him.

Richie stood up slowly from his seat on the floor, his muscles feeling tight and awkward. His grandfather looked over and gave a small frown, made extreme by his deep set wrinkles.

“I’m sorry, are we boring you Richard?” his grandfather asked. Richie opened his mouth to speak, but his mother spoke for him.

“Let him be dad; he’s a teenager. Too cool for us now,” she joked. The grandfather just rolled his eyes and returned to his conversation with his dad. As Richie passed his mother she reached out and squeezed his wrist. “If you want, Richard… you can call one of your friend’s on our bedroom phone. I’m sure you miss them.” Richie gave a small nod and squeezed his mother's shoulder as he continued his walk to the stairs. He attempted to make his footsteps normal, unaffected by all the weight that had just been stacked on him like pressing stones. He fought to not bolt up the stairs to safety. He went straight to his parents room and picked up the phone. His fingers shook as he pressed the buttons of the familiar number. The phone rang twice before being picked up.

“Kaspbrak residence, this is Edward speaking.”

“H-hey,” Richie managed, attempting to keep the emotion from his voice.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, his tone a bit brighter now.

“Sup spaghetti. Any good chucks today?” he asked weakly. His voice cracked, the tone wavering.

“Are you alright?”

“Oh…just wanted to hear your voice I guess.” A small whine caught in his throat, the sound of Eddie’s voice breaking his resolve. A tear broke down his right cheek, streaking hot across the skin. This was too much. It was all too much. He felt like a noose was wrapping around his neck, dragging him back from the receiver.

“You don’t sound alri-“

“You know, I gotta go. Miss you, bye.”

“Wait, Rich-“ Richie hung up the phone quickly. He bit his lip harshly, choking back any noise. He rocked back and forth for a few moments, squeezing his eyes shut as he fought to control himself.

The teen sped walked to his room, his throat filling up with repressed sobs. Richie turned off the light and crawled into bed. He leaned over to his night stand to fiddle with the radio, turning on some station that could drown out everything. With trembling hands he pulled the blanket over his head and finally released an agonizing cry. The dam broke and salty tears watered his pillow, leaving dark hot stains. He felt suffocated under the blanket, but he was too scared to come out from the comforter. Too scared to be seen, to be heard, to be open to the darkness of the room.

He had never planned on telling his parents…had never planned on having much contact at all after high school. But he trusted them; trusted his dad to be a good person to some degree. But tonight he had made Richie feel subhuman, like an animal to be hunted down and made extinct. How could his family do that? How could they hate someone who only wanted to love?

At some point in the night he stopped crying, the overwhelming hurricane replaced by a vapid silence. He flipped off the radio and noticed that the rest of the house had fallen silent as well. His head pounded and his eyes burned, each blink stinging more than the last. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but a tap at his window startled him. He poked his head out from the blanket, his glasses smudged from all the tears. Against the light of a street lamp he could make out a slim shape behind the panes of glass. It knocked again, the figure shivering.

“Eds?” Richie crawled out of bed quickly and unlatched the window quietly. The shorter boy climbed in, happy to be out of the cold and out of the tree. Richie closed the window and turned back to Eddie, only to have his face captured between two soft hands. Eddie scrutinized Richie’s face, his brown eyes filled with concern. He noticed the flushed skin, the red eyes, the chapped lips.

“I fucking knew you weren’t alright.” Richie wanted to say something smart back. He wanted to play it off. But staring at Eddie, feeling his touch against his cheek; he crumbled. A small tear fell from Richie and seeped onto Eddie’s thumb. His lip was turned out into a pout and he struggled to speak.

“I’m so scared, Eds.” Eddie grabbed Richie’s body and held it tightly. Richie leaned into his boyfriend’s embrace, burying his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck. Eddie stood perfectly still as he rubbed the taller boy’s back; an unwavering pillar for Richie to cling to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading; I'm sorry for the more serious tone this took. Hope you all have had a happy and safe holiday <3


	10. "More Than All the Hate"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie comforts Richie late at night after a painful Christmas Eve. There's some definite fluff.

After a few minutes of stillness Eddie led Richie back to the bed. The two boys climbed in under the blankets and Eddie held Richie’s head against his chest, their legs intertwined in a pretzel. Eddie had taken off Richie’s glasses and placed them on the bedside table. Richie closed his eyes and nuzzled against the softness of Eddie’s fleece jacket while the shorter boy stroked his hair.

“You ready to talk about it?” Eddie asked, his words shattering the silence that had built up around them. He had never seen Richie like this before. Richie always took things head on, even when engaging in rock wars with local bullies. Even battling a demonic clown deep within the sewers of Derry. But this must have been bad if it had Richie crying; so vulnerable, so distressed.

“I’ve never been so scared to be myself,” Richie whispered, his voice raspy from his previous sobs.

“I don’t follow, Rich.”

“My parents- grandparents…they were talking tonight.”

“About what?” Richie squeezed tighter around Eddie’s torso, his face almost fully hidden against his boyfriend’s chest.Eddie bit his lip, preparing for the answer.

“Faggots,” he responded. Eddie flinched at the word but said nothing. He had been called that almost everyday since he was twelve. In the past it was just something a bully would say, another insult like fuck face or shithead. Until recently it had lost meaning for him. But now it felt far more personal, more weighted. Richie continued, “they hate me and they don’t even know. The shit they said, man…how can you hate someone when all they want to do is love?”

“They’re ignorant Richie. They don’t understand and it scares them.” Eddie frowned. All the more reason to get out of this town as soon as possible. If Richie really would take him along, Eddie would never come back. Not for anything.

“But the way they were talking. My dad basically says fags in Derry get killed.”

“Please, stop saying that fucking word,” Eddie snapped. Richie’s body went rigid against him and Eddie sighed, kissing his head, “I’m sorry. But that’s not who we are. We’re fucking people, not some lesser creature that can be marginalized by a stupid name.” Eddie himself hadn’t really processed the fact that he was considered gay. He hadn’t thought about the community being an ‘us’ or a ‘we’ situation. He had always just been interested in Richie; the only person he had ever really wanted to be with.

“Eds…my dad is glad they get killed. And my grandpa agreed, and so did my grandma and my mom…she just sat there. She looked uncomfortable, but she said nothing!”

“I’m sorry Richie. That must have been really upsetting. But they are wrong. They don’t understand. And they don’t know you. They don’t know that you’re better than them. You’re better because you don’t hate.”

“It’s just…from my own family. If my own family hates us, what other assholes are out there?”

“The Loser’s Club is your family Richie. For every asshole out there, there’s someone who’s just the opposite.”

“How can you be so sure about this? Aren’t you scared.”

“A little; of course I am. But think of it like this. For someone as hands off as your mom, there’s a Beverly ready to take a stand. For someone cruel as your dad, there’s a compassionate Ben. Your grandma, a Stan. You’re grandpa, a Bill. For all the assholes at school, a Mike.”

“And you?” Richie looked up, his eyes wide as he tried to focus on Eddie’s blurred face. Eddie cupped Richie’s cheeks, his heart swelling. Eddie’s body begged to tremble with his next words, but he stifled the movements.

“Richard Tozier, I love you more than all the hate that exists in the world.” He captured Richie’s lips, pressing warmly. Richie’s heart was pounding so hard through his thin frame that Eddie could feel the beats against his torso. A small tear fell from Richie’s eye.

“You love me?”

“Of course I do dumbass,” Eddie answered softly. Richie sniffed, releasing a nervous laugh.

“Bro that’s kinda gay.”

“Shut the fuck up, trashmouth.” The two chuckled softly, and Richie stretched for another kiss, heated and firm.

“You’ve always been braver than me, Eds.”

“You make me want to be brave.” Richie grinned at this, his entire body feeling lighter than it had all day. He scooted up the bed and put his back to Eddie’s chest, pulling the shorter boy’s arms around him.

“And you make me want to be the little spoon.” Eddie rolled his eyes but gave a small kiss to the back of Richie’s neck. They lay there in silence for a few minutes, and Eddie was almost certain that Richie had fallen asleep. He slowly began to peel his limbs from Richie, but the taller boy tensed and gripped onto him.

“Hey.”

“What?”

“I love you too.”

“I know,” Eddie whispered with a smile. “But I need to go Rich. My mom will kill me if she knows I’m gone, and if I lay here any longer, I’m going to fall asleep.”

“Nooooo,” Richie whined, pushing himself against Eddie.

“What are you doing?” Richie didn’t respond, but stuck out his ass farther, grinding it against Eddie’s crotch. “Stop that.” Richie rotated his hips.

“You won’t be able to fall asleep if I keep you occupied,” Richie stated. He rolled his body sensuously against the shorter teen. Eddie gave a low moan, almost a growl. “Just stay a little bit longer. I’ll make it worth ya while, Eds,” he said in a New York mafia voice.

“C’mon Rich, its la- ahhh.”Eddie was interrupted by Richie’s hand. The taller boy had reached his arms behind him to palm at Eddie’s now growing erection. “Weren’t you just distraught like ten minutes ago?”

“That was then, baby. This is now. Blame it on my ADHD.” Eddie groaned in frustration, but his arms snaked under Richie’s shirt as he fingered at his hardened nipples.

“That’s bullshit,” he whispered in Richie’s ear, letting his tongue trace across the cartilage.

“No, it’s strategic. What better way to piss off the assholes of the world?”

“And what exactly would we be doing if I stayed?”

“Something that would land us both on the naughty list,” Richie retorted. He twisted himself around to kiss Eddie, letting his tongue slip through the shorter boys lips.

“Ughhh fine. Fuck you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks for staying with the story. love you all!


	11. Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After convincing Eddie to stay a bit longer, the two try some new things in the bedroom.

“Ughhh fine. Fuck you.”

“All in good time, Eddie my love.”

“You’re an idiot,” he muttered. Richie rolled over and straddled Eddie’s waist, pinning the shorter boy’s shoulders with his large hands.

“I’m your idiot.”

“Don’t remind me.” But Eddie couldn’t hold back his smile. He lifted his hands to grab on to Richie’s waist, his fingers tracing along the hip bones. Richie squirmed on top of Eddie, his ass rubbing against his crotch. Eddie bit down on his bottom lip.

“That tickles, Eds,” Richie giggled.

“Keep moving on top of me.” Richie raised his eyebrows, a mischievous grin breaking out across his face.

“You want me to ride you, Eddie? Naughty boy.”

“Fuck yes. Grind against me.” Richie rolled his body sensuously, taking his time as he shifted his ass back and forth over the shorter teen’s growing erection. “Shit, yeah. Keep going. You look so sexy.” Richie continued, a hot blush rising up his neck. He was still in awe of the fact that Eddie found him attractive. It made him feel powerful, confident. It made him feel incredible.

“Do you want me to be sexy for you?” Richie asked, his tone both nervous and eager.

“Show me, baby,” Eddie whispered, nearly panting. Richie crossed his arms and pulled his shirt up over his head, flinging it to the floor. He still felt nervous to be shirtless, but Eddie reached up his hands to touch and feel Richie’s torso, a small “wow,” escaping his lips. Richie gave a reassured smile and began to grind against Eddie again. He took Eddie’s wrists, placing the teen’s hands on his waist again. He rolled his hips, thrusting slow and lascivious. He bit his bottom lip playfully as he gazed at Eddie, touching his own stomach and chest. He caressed himself seductively, teasing his erect nipples. Eddie was wide eyed, his face beet red even in the darkness, and Richie could feel his hard cock straining towards his ass.

“Jesus you look amazing, Rich,” Eddie moaned.

“Tell me about it stud,” Richie answered, running a hand through his hair. Eddie was so entranced, he couldn’t even roll his eyes at the reference. The shorter teen unzipped Richie’s pants, pulling his cock from his jeans.

“Keep touching yourself for me,” Eddie insisted, gripping Richie’s cock firmly in his hand. Richie moaned, tossing his head back as Eddie began to pump him.

“Fucking hell,” Richie breathed. He continued to touch his own body, pulling on his nipples and messing up his hair. Eddie ran his thumb along the head, smearing the pre cum. His breathing had become labored, an he wondered briefly if he should grab his inhaler. He stroked the shaft, Richie’s reactions making his entire body hot and sweaty. “Eds, I’m getting close,” Richie warned.

“Good, cum for me baby.” Eddie licked his lips as he watched Richie’s hips shudder, his face contorting in pleasure as he came strong and fast. Eddie’s entire shirt was covered, and Richie slouched from his perch on top of his boyfriend. He took a few deep breaths to recover, his hair frizzy and sticking up in different directions.

“Shit hon, I’m sorry,” Richie apologized, seeing the mess he made of Eddie’s shirt.

“You know, I don’t always hate being dirty,” Eddie retorted with a smirk. Richie laughed a little too loudly, and the two of them froze to listen intently for any stirring within the house.

“Well let’s get this off you,” Richie began, carefully helping Eddie remove the soiled shirt. He threw it to the floor, and paused to admire Eddie’s body. Richie gave a low whistle and bent down to kiss Eddie, sucking languidly on his bottom lip. He kissed down his throat, leaving dark bites along his chest and down his stomach. Richie licked just above Eddie’s jeans, his tongue scorching across the soft skin. He dragged down Eddie’s pants, releasing his long erection.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Eddie asked nervously.

“Do you trust me?”

“Yeah…of course.” Richie’s mouth twitched and he gave a wet lick to the underside of Eddie’s shaft.

“Holy fuck! Whoah.”

“You okay? I can stop.”

“N-no. Don’t…just, go slow,” he whispered, closing his eyes. Richie propped himself on his forearms, grabbing Eddie’s hands from the mattress. He slowly took Eddie in his mouth, swirling his tongue to get the entire member slick. “F-fuck,” Eddie hissed. Richie stopped to look up at Eddie who silently nodded for him to continue. Richie pushed Eddie to the back of his mouth, gagging as his member slipped down his throat. “Holy hell.”

Richie slowly bobbed his head, applying some pressure as he hollowed out his cheeks with each suck. Eddie moaned softly, the sound making Richie’s body tingle. He loved the feel of Eddie in his mouth, tasting him, pleasuring him. Being filled by him.

Eddie began to buck his hips up, keeping time with Richie’s rhythm. He released his hands from Richie’s hold, thrusting them into his tangle of black hair. Richie was so warm; he fit so perfectly around him. Eddie was building, his skin breaking out in goose flesh as he climbed higher and higher.

“Richie…I’m gonna-“ he couldn’t hold it back any longer and he came violently. His entire body released and he had to stifle his moan. Richie swallowed his cum, a bit dribbling out the corner of his mouth. He came off of Eddie with a lewd pop, giving the shorter boy one last shudder. Richie crawled up to the pillows, laying his head down next to his boyfriend’s. Eddie licked off the last bit of cum from Richie’s lips before capturing his mouth for a soft kiss.

“Merry Christmas Eddie Spaghetti,” Richie whispered.

“Yeah, gonna be pretty hard to top this gift,” Eddie joked.

“I’d top you anytime Kaspbrak.”

“Shut it. Can I borrow a shirt?”

“You can have anything you want. You sure you’re gonna be okay out there?”

“I’ll be fine, Rich. It stopped snowing and eveyone’s asleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are always welcome and feel free to follow me at millenialmfa on tumblr.


	12. Journey Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie meets some trouble on his way back home from Richie's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for light bullying and a few moments of offensive language.

Eddie crawled out onto the roof, pulling his jacket closer over Richie’s Van Halen t-shirt. The snow had stopped, but the wind continued to howl through the trees, blowing bitterly cold air up against Eddie’s cheeks. He should have dressed warmer, but he had been so worried about Richie he had forgotten about himself. Richie slapped his ass, but as Eddie turned to cuss at him the teen had already shut the window and was waving innocently behind the glass.

“Fucker,” Eddie muttered. He reached for the tree branch, gripping the bark as he swung his legs off the roof and into the center of the branches. “I must be crazy for climbing this death trap.” He slowly stepped to some lower branches before shimmying down the trunk, the bark rubbing roughly against his hands. Eddie looked back up to see Richie still watching him; Richie blew a kiss down to Eddie and then retreated back to bed. Eddie smiled sadly. He was glad he came over, but he had never seen Richie that upset before. Even when battling Pennywise it never seemed to get under his skin quite the same way. Maybe because having your own family say horrible things was far more personal. Maybe because he could take a bat to the clown’s ugly mug, unlike with his parents. But Eddie really suspected it was because in the end, through all the blood, and gore, and monsters; Pennywise wasn’t real. He could be killed with words, with actions; his magic was just illusions. You had to simply decide not to be afraid.

But with family, with Derry; it was all very real. The hatred lurked in offhand comments, festered through years of complacency and reinforcement. It lived in your house, your parents, your neighbors. Hate was very real, and a lot harder to kill than a clown.

Eddie quietly opened the gate and slipped out, his feet crunching against the ice that coated the sidewalk. It was about a ten minute walk from Richie’s house to his, and with the wind blowing cold air up the bottom of his jacket and stinging his scalp through his hair, he was going to feel every single minute of it. He set on his course, but became vaguely aware of footsteps and chatter a few yards behind him. He turned to look and saw a group of three guys, each stumbling over the others. They were whispering viciously, and Eddie knew to pick up his pace when he saw the middle one point at him.

He walked quickly, deciding that once he reached the corner he would take a different way home to try and lose them. He peeked behind again to see that they had begun running towards him gracelessly, but they were fast. Eddie turned to run, but his foot hit a patch of slick ice and the whole street began to tumble in his vision as he fell backwards. The teen landed hard on his back, all the wind instantly knocked out of him. He lay on the cold ground, struggling to regain any breath he could. His vision blurred for a few moments before the three dark shapes came into view, materializing into faces he knew all too well.

“Look here boys,” the gruff voice of Jonathan Graham sneered. “Little Kaspbrak out in the middle of the night.” Eddie grimaced, embarrassed from his fall and in a bit of pain. Jonathan was the captain of their swim team. He was accompanied by fellow teammates Anthony Crox and Bradley Shifton.

“We got excited for a moment. Thought you were sneaking out after getting some good puss,” Bradley added on, his voice lilting from the effects of whatever they had been drinking.

“Then sssurprise,” Anthony began, “we see you leaving fucking Tozier’s house.”

“I hate that little shit,” Jonathan said caustically.

“Never fucking shuts his cocksucker mouth,” Anthony agreed.

“So…why were you sneaking out so late?” Jonathan’s eyes were a piercing blue, enhanced further by how bloodshot the whites were. His breath was heavy and coated in what Eddie believed to be whiskey.

Eddie scooted out of the circle they formed around him, quickly standing before they could try to put him back down on the ground. He brushed off his clothes and glared back at the three guys. They were all taller than him, bigger too. But he knew he was just as fast, if not faster.

“Same as you. Staying out late, wanted to smoke. Tozier’s got a good stash, and my ma still believes in curfews. Had to sneak out so his mom didn’t rat me out,” Eddie lied flawlessly. He was a quick thinker and had been dealing with these guys all season. Just lie and pretend to be someone you’re not.

“I’m not buying it,” Bradley slurred. He lunged at Eddie, grabbing him by the collar.

“Me either,” Jonathan agreed. “Anthony, check him.” Eddie looked questioningly to Jonathan, but received his answer when Anthony lifted up his shirt and jacket over his head. The fierce cold slapped him across the torso as Eddie stood there shivering, half naked. The three boys whistled and sneered and Eddie quickly looked down. _Oh shit._

He was covered in small bites and hickeys from Richie. Deep marks lined his nipples, and a rather suggestive one peeked out from his jeans. He had always bruised easily, so much so that he forgot about it most of the time. He considered saying they were from Beverly; they might buy it since she was always seen with him and the rest of the losers. He knew she’d understand if he explained the situation. But deep down he knew; they had the answer they wanted. Their suspicions from all season had been confirmed.

“Fucking faggot,” Anthony spat. Eddie’s lip trembled, but he refused to give them the satisfaction of seeing him cry. He had to think about this logically, assess the situation. He smirked at them, his eyes narrowing.

“And what if I am? What are you gonna do about it?”

“Oh you’re about to find out,” Bradley answered.

“Am I? I don’t think coach will take kindly to you damaging one of his best swimmers.” This caused the three to halt; they eyed each other nervously. “Face it,” Eddie explained, taking back his clothes. “You won’t win county without me. Jonathan can’t carry the whole team, and if I’m not there, you’ll have nothing to balance out Grishom’s time.” Grishom was the slowest guy on the team; he was only there because the coach was his stepdad. Eddie pulled his clothes back on and turned to walk away. He needed to play it off that he wasn’t scared shitless.

“You better not watch any of us in the locker rooms you fairy perv!” Jonathan shouted.

“No worries there.”

“Yeah, why’s that?” Anthony asked. Eddie bit his bottom lip; he had definitely been hanging out with Richie too much.

“Since I’m a fag, I’m not interested in bitches.” Eddie continued walking, knowing he probably shouldn’t have said anything, but boy did it feel good. He bit down on his tongue holding in his emotions for a good six minutes until he was absolutely sure he was nowhere near the drunken idiots. He looked around and then leaned over a fence. All his nervous energy came back up and he vomited loudly in someone’s dead rose bushes. He vomited three more times on the way home, hot tears staining his cheeks before freezing over against his skin. He grabbed his inhaler and puffed it maniacally, desperate for it all to pass.

He finally reached home, slipping quietly inside. His mother was still asleep on the recliner, thank god. He snuck up the stairs and got into bed, cocooning himself in the blankets. He would call Richie in the morning after all the Christmas festivities had died down. They needed to tell their friends about their relationship. The more people on their side the better. Eddie released a large breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. His muscles began to release and he let himself sink down into the mattress. He could smell Richie on his borrowed shirt; the only thing allowing him to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re interested in commissions (fandom related or otherwise), check out my tumblr: millenialmfa for more information :)


	13. Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie tell the Loser's Club about their relationship.

“So what did you want to tell me?” Richie asked, kneeling on the ground. He lifted Eddie’s shirt slightly, kissing along his abdomen. Eddie crossed his arms and looked down at his boyfriend. There was a hangout tonight at Stanley’s while his parents were on vacation, and Eddie had asked to come by Richie’s beforehand.

“Rich-” he began, annoyed that he was already growing excited.

“Mmmhhmm? Go on, tell me.” Richie hooked his fingers into Eddie’s belt loops and began trying to drag his jeans down. Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Richie, I think you misjudged what I was gonna tell you.”

“Wait, what?” he asked, slowly withdrawing his hands from Eddie’s ass. He gave innocent puppy eyes to his boyfriend.

“Yeah, you fucking horn dog. What did you think?” Richie stood back up and slightly adjusted his erection in his jeans.

“Eds, when you tell me we need to talk about our relationship, and then tell me it’s important, and then assure me that it’s about a good thing…what am I supposed to think?”

“So you assume…”

“Well, uh- sex stuff,” Richie admitted running a hand through his hair.

“Sex?” Eddie asked, his voice a bit panicky.

“I said stuff! I said sex stuff. Shit, I really opened a can of worms we weren’t ready for, huh?”

“Umm,” Eddie began. But he was unable to form any other coherent thought. Was Richie thinking about sex already? Eddie’s cheeks were flushed; he had only had his first kiss a week ago. Sure he imagined a lot of things and fantasized, but that was far different than actually performing them. He worried that maybe Richie would get bored if he moved to slow.

“Hey, hey baby. You’re doing your over thinking face. Look at me.” Richie took Eddie’s face in his hands and slowly stroked his cheeks. “There is no rush for us, okay? You want to wait 27 seconds or 27 years, I’m here. Just getting to kiss you could keep me satisfied. We can take this slow…I’m sorry if I got you freaked out.” Eddie nodded along with Richie’s words, soothed by his large brown eyes gazing back at him.

“Jesus, Tozier. You really don’t think with the right head, do you?”Eddie joked weakly.

“Have you met me?” Richie retorted, a pleased smile on his face. “So, what did you actually come over here to talk about?” Eddie bit his bottom lip, trying to think through his explanation.

“Well, I think we should tell our friends. You know about us.”

“Oh, okay then. I mean Hell, I don’t care as long as you’re happy.”

“Thanks Rich,” Eddie replied, giving the taller boy a warm hug.

“I honestly thought we were going to wait a bit longer, though. Any reason?” Richie asked, in Eddie’s ear, giving a small kiss to the side of his neck. Eddie’s body stiffened; he knew Richie would freak out. The taller boy had always been protective, and Eddie guessed that would only escalate now that they were in a relationship. “Eds?”

“The other night?” Eddie began, breaking away from the hug.

“Oh yes, I recall it fondly,” Richie replied, adding his version of a sexy growl.

“Shut up, trashmouth.”

“You brought it up. I’m a simple man with simple needs, Eds.”

“Anyway, I may have run into some trouble on my way home.” Richie’s eyes widened.

“What kind of trouble?” Richie began to search Eddie’s face harder.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle, okay?”

“Kaspbrak, You better tell me now,” Richie insisted.

“Some guys from the swim team saw me leaving your house. They were drunk and they took off my shirt-”

“They did what!?” Richie exclaimed. He held Eddie by the shoulders, his demeanor panicked. “You didn’t tell me this for two fucking days?”

“I’m telling you now, Rich! Okay?” Richie pinched the bridge of his nose, and Eddie could see his lip begin to tremble.

“Fine. Go on.”

“They saw. All the hickeys and stuff. They know.” Richie slumped to sit on the floor, his back leaning against his bed. Eddie sat down next to him and was immediately captured in the taller boy’s arms. Richie was rocking slightly, but said nothing. A few minutes passed and Eddie prompted him. “You okay. Tozier?”

“I’m so sorry. What did they do to you?”

“Nothing Rich. I promise.”

“How is that possible? This is Derry, Eddie. There’s no way they just let you go on your merry gay way.”

“They can’t touch me Rich. They won’t win the next few meets without me. And none of them are willing to risk potential scholarships if the coach finds out it was their fault we lost.”

“I’m so sorry,” Richie whispered again.

“Why?” Eddie asked, turning his face to meet Richie’s gaze.

“If you hadn’t been out that night…If I hadn’t called-”

“Stop. Okay? You should have called me. You were upset and I’m glad that you trusted me enough to call. And it was my decision to show up. It’s their fault for being assholes. We’re just being us.” Richie nodded reluctantly. “Anyway, that’s why I think we should tell them. They deserve to know if those pricks do, and we could use some positive people on our side.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Rich.” Eddie gave him a soft kiss, wiping away Richie’s tear with his thumb. The shorter boy stood up and offered his hand. “Ready to go to Stan’s?”

“Yes. But I’m driving us.”

“Rich, it’s like a five minute walk.”

“Don’t care. I’m not taking any chances with my precious spaghetti.” Richie pinched Eddie’s cheeks. “And from now on, you must be accompanied by a chaperone at all times!” he added in a pompous British voice. Eddie rolled his eyes.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Trashmouth, don’t you fucking dare light that joint in my house!” Stanley chastised from across the room.

“Stan the Man, why are you harshing my mellow?” Richie yelled back. Mike was sitting next to him trying to stifle a laugh.

“That shit’s gonna stink up the whole living room, and my parents are going to know immediately.”

“Fine, fine. I’m heading outside. You coming, Marsh?” Richie pointed to Beverly.

“Duh,” she responded. She got up from her seat on the floor next to Ben. Mike got up from the couch and followed.

“Hell yeah, Mikey.” The three exited out of the living room, but not before Richie shot a glance to Eddie. The shorter boy gave a small nod. Eddie could already feel his cheeks growing red and hot.

Richie zipped up his jacket and lit his joint, the red embers glowing against the darkness of the night. The cold air whipped through his hair, and Beverly and Mike huddled close to him. He took a deep drag, easing some of his nerves. He knew he had no real reason to be nervous, but his chest felt tight and his hands shook.

“Want me to hold that for you, Tozier?” Beverly asked, a hint of concern in her voice. Richie seemed pale and she could see his hands trembling.

“You know you can just ask for a hit,” Richie joked, handing it over. Beverly stuck out her tongue and inhaled deeply before passing it to Mike. She blew the smoke in Richie’s face.

“You’re an ass,” she responded. Mike chuckled.

“She’s right. But you’re our ass,” he added.

“Gee thanks guys, feeling the love.” The three of them looked up, the darkness of the street allowing the stars to shine brightly. Richie kept his eyes fixated upwards. “I um- I have something to tell you guys.” Mike looked over to Beverly who simply shrugged.

“Shoot, Rich,” Mike responded.

“Well…you know how Eddie and I are close?”

“Yeah, Richie. We do have eyes,” Beverly joked.

“Shut up, Marsh. I’m being vulnerable here.” Richie snatched the joint from Mike and took another drag. Why was he so damn nervous? Maybe because once their friends knew, that made it real. It made it a real relationship…something that Richie could fuck up.

“Go on Rich. We’re listening. We’re here for you,” Mike urged.

“Well, we’ve gotten a bit closer. Eddie and I are- you know…” Richie made an implying motion with his hand. Beverly snuck another glance at mike, her mouth turned up in a wry smile. Mike attempted to hide a grin with his hand.

“No Rich, we don’t know. I think you need to explain this to us,” Mike teased.

“Fuck you guys. We’re dating. Eddie and I are dating. And I love him, and it’s kind of a big deal. Okay?” Richie felt his heart pounding and his breathing was shallow, but he instantly felt better after letting them know. Before he could look at his friends they were on either side of him, locking him in an embrace.

“That’s so sweet,” Beverly cooed.

“Took you long enough, Tozier,” Mike added.

Inside the house Eddie, Stanley, Ben, and Bill were seated around the coffee table playing rummy. Eddie bit his bottom lip, unsure of when to tell them. There didn’t seem to be an organic way, but he also didn’t want to wait much longer. He was excited to tell his friends; excited to be able to include people that would support him. The Loser’s Club was family to him and he felt lucky get to share this.

“Hey, guys?” Eddie prompted as he picked up a card.

“Hmm,” Stan replied, focusing on his deck.

“I got sort of big news to tell you.” Ben looked over at him and gave a warm smile.

“Okay, Eddie. Can’t wait to hear it,” Ben replied.

“Richie and I are dating,” he stated simply, releasing a deep breath afterwards. Ben wrapped him in a bear hug so tight he thought he heard his bones crunch.

“W-w-w-what? That’s g-great!” Bill responded with a bit of a struggle.

“Look at that, you got him so emotional he stuttered,” Stan stated simply, drawing a card.

“Shut up, Stan,” Bill retorted. Eddie looked over to Stanley, waiting for his response. The curly haired boy rolled his eyes.

“Trashmouth…really?” he asked sarcastically. Eddie shrugged, unable to contain his smile. “As long as you’re happy. Could do worse I guess.” Stan’s tone sounded bored, but Eddie could see the corner of his eyes crinkle as the pale boy fought a smile.

“Thanks guys, it means a lot to us to be able to tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and staying with this fic. Hope you're still enjoying it!


	14. After Hours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Loser's Club continues with their hang out. But once everyone goes to bed, Richie and Eddie decide to stay up a bit later.

“So how did it happen?” Beverly whispered from her spot on the couch next to Richie. The two of them were watching Mike and Eddie settle a debate. Bill believed that Mike could beat any of them in an arm wrestling match. Stanley bet him that wasn’t true since Eddie had started swimming. As a result, here they were with Eddie and Stanley against Bill and Mike for ten dollars, with Ben playing referee.

“What do you mean, Marsh? I’m too high for you to be cryptic,” Richie answered.

“What else would I be talking about, dumbass? I mean you and Eddie.”

“Honestly…I guess him. He was the one that finally started the conversation, you know?”

“Really… Eddie? Good for him,” she answered in surprise.

“He’s always had more balls than me,” Richie reasoned. They were interrupted by a spur of yelling; Eddie had almost pinned Mike’s arm, but the bigger teen came back with renewed strength. Bill’s eyes were wide, and he glanced at Stanley, who merely glared back. Richie watched carefully, unconsciously licking his lips as Eddie’s bicep bulged. The shorter teen gritted his teeth, small grunts and growls escaping his mouth that made Richie’s cheeks glow pink.

“C’mon Hanlon, finish him,” Bill called out.

“Fuck off Bill, Eddie’s already got this,” Stanley retorted.

“Jesus Mike, how are you so strong?” Eddie asked. His cheeks were red, and Richie could see his whole body trembling. Eddie may have gained some muscle, but he was still short and slight compared to Mike, who absolutely dwarfed him in every way.

“Farm muscles, kid. You try lifting fucking sheep all day.”

“I’m good,” Eddie grunted. “Livestock carry loads of diseases man,” Eddie quipped.

“Do I look sick to you?” Mike asked. With a flourish he slammed Eddie’s hand down on the table, winning the fight. Bill stood up and cheered loudly, flipping off Stanley playfully.

“Sore winner,” Stanley spat.

“Whatever, I still get five bucks,” Bill sneered. Stanley rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet. He crumpled up a five and threw it at Bill’s head. “Better to be a sore winner than a sore loser,” their leader muttered.

“Eddie, pay up man,” Mike urged, his large palm outstretched. Eddie searched his pockets before realizing he didn’t have his wallet. Richie smirked, and pulled a five out of his jean’s pocket.

“I’ll pay your tab, sweet lips,” Richie said, handing Mike the bill. “It was yours first, anyway.”

“Please tell me that’s not the five you stuffed down your pants,” Eddie asked with a grimace. Mike shrugged and snatched the money from Richie.

“Money’s money,” Mike reasoned. Eddie curled his lip but said nothing else. The conversation continued with Stanley and Bill arguing about something else. Beverly got up from her spot to sit next to Ben, who blushed furiously at something she whispered to him. Eddie only half listened to the chatter, his eyes stealing glances at Richie. The two exchanged looks for the rest of the night. A blown kiss here. A lip bite there. Eddie could feel his body grow tense and excited, and he nearly made an audible moan when he caught Richie having to adjust himself on the couch.

“Guys,” Beverly announced, pulling Eddie from his thoughts. “I think it may be time for bed.” She pointed to Ben who had fallen asleep on her shoulder.

“I think you’re right,” Bill responded, motioning to Stanley who was snoring softly on his shoulder. Bill shook Stanley awake before standing. Stanley rubbed his eyes, his voiced laced with disorientation.

“Mmmkay. Bev, you can get my parent’s room. The rest of us have my room. There’s blankets and pillows and shit.” Without another word Stanley turned to retire, Bill shrugging and following close. Mike tapped on Ben’s back to wake him, and the rest of the group headed upstairs. Eddie and Richie trailed behind, holding hands while Richie grabbed at the shorter boy’s ass.

They all filed into Stan’s bedroom; Stanley and Bill took the bed while the rest spread out on the floor. Richie shifted close to Eddie, the two of them near the foot of the bed. Ben and Mike were sleeping on either side of the mattress.

“Hey there, hot stuff,” Richie whispered. Eddie rolled to face him, their noses close enough to touch. Eddie tried to scan his boyfriend’s face, but the room was pitch black; Stanley’s curtains were dark and blocked any light from outside.

“Hey,” Eddie replied. He reached out his hand and grabbed at Richie’s shoulder before feeling his way down to hold the taller boy’s hand. The room was silent except for the soft breathing of four other boys who had all slipped into the spell of sleep.

“I don’t know about you,” Richie began, “but I’m wide awake.”

“Is that so, Tozier?” Eddie asked. He brought Richie’s hand up to his lips and kissed the knuckles gently. “I could always tire you out.” Richie gulped in response, his cock twitching in his jeans.

“Show me,” he whispered. Eddie kissed Richie’s knuckles again before grabbing his index finger. Eddie licked up it slowly, causing a shiver to run through the taller boy’s body. He put his mouth over it, sucking gently as his teeth grazed along the skin. “You’re such a sexy little tease,” Richie gasped. He palmed himself through his pants with his free hand. Eddie then took the index and middle fingers and pushed them into his mouth. This time he sucked a bit harder before letting them slip down his throat. Richie moaned, a bit shocked. “Jesus Eds, where’s your gag reflex?”

“You try taking horse pills without water twenty times a day,” Eddie quipped.

“Baby you put the sexy in hypochondria.”

“Rich that- that doesn’t even make sense you idiot.”

“Sticks and stones, Eddiekins,” Richie whispered in his ear, tugging on the lobe with his teeth. Eddie exhaled harshly, pushing his pelvis up against his boyfriend’s.

“Do you want to go downstairs?” Eddie asked eagerly.

“Honey, how could I say no?”

The two crept out of the room quietly, careful not to wake any of their friends up. While Richie had always been turned on by the idea of getting caught, he wasn’t necessarily ready for it to happen. They tip toed down the stairs, avoiding all of the creaky parts they had memorized over the years. When they reached the bottom, Eddie grabbed Richie’s wrist and led him back to the living room. He pushed Richie down onto the couch before crawling to lay on top of him.

They kissed passionately, crashing their mouths together in a hurricane of teeth and tongues. Richie reached up to grab onto Eddie’s hair, sucking violently on his lip.

“I want you so bad,” Richie moaned, his tone still hushed, just in case. Eddie pulled up Richie’s shirt and sucked on his erect nipples, twirling his tongue around them.

“Yeah? Tell me what you want me to do. Talk dirty to me, trashmouth.” Eddie grinded his crotch against Richie’s, moaning at the intense friction between their stiff erections.

“I want to feel your mouth on me, Eds. I want to watch you fuck me with your mouth,” Richie revealed, tossing his head back.

“I could do that,” Eddie whispered. He felt his cheeks growing red.

“Really?” Richie asked. “It’s not too fast for you?” Eddie shrugged. He felt safe with Richie, and the idea of sucking him off made Eddie feel confident and in control. He pulled Richie up to a normal seated position on the couch. Eddie got on his knees on the floor and placed himself between Richie’s legs. Richie dragged his pants down to his ankles, his erection standing at attention. His breathing had become shallow and nervous as he watched Eddie.

The shorter boy gripped his legs, his nails leaving half crescent marks in the skin. Eddie locked eyes with Richie as he took his thick cock between his lips. He hollowed out his cheeks, sucking and bobbing his head, refusing to remove his gaze from his boyfriend.

“Shit- you look even cuter with a dick in your mouth,” Richie stated breathlessly. He felt light headed. Eddie’s mouth was warm, and he pulsated his tongue along Richie’s shaft as he continued to suck. Richie could swear Eddie smirked at him before- “Holy fuck!” he cried out. Eddie had pushed him deep down the back of his throat. The shorter boy moaned, enjoying the sensation of being filled. The vibrations sent shockwaves through Richie, who was trying desperately not to cum too soon.

Eddie came of his cock with a lewd pop. He slid his hand up and down the slick shaft as he skated his tongue across the head. Richie squirmed on the couch, his eyes unable to move from Eddie’s movements.

“I can tell you want to cum, baby,” Eddie urged with the most lascivious smile Richie had ever seen. “Let me swallow you down.” Richie tossed his head back and gave a high whine as Eddie took his cock in his mouth again. He thrust his hips, nearly tumbling over his edge. He gave one last look at Eddie who winked back, and it was the last little push he needed.

Richie came fast, muffling his moans with his hand. His body twitched gracelessly as Eddie swallowed every bit. The shorter boy wrinkled his nose at the bitter taste. He figured Richie’s diet of chips and candy didn’t help. But the look of Richie’s face, completely undone with his mouth hanging open…Eddie couldn’t contain his smile.

“Fuck, Eds.”

“Happy, Tozier?”

“You have no idea,” Richie breathed. “I mean maybe you do, but fuck. That was the best thing I’ve ever felt.”

“Good. Now let’s get back upstairs before anyone notices we are gone.”

“It’s cruel to make a man move so soon after ecstasy,” Richie argued.

“C’mon, I’ll even let you be the little spoon when we cuddle.”

“Ugh, deal.”


	15. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm right here, don't leave!"
> 
> A little bit of angst, a little bit of comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important note at end of the chapter :)

_“Hello?” Eddie called out. He couldn’t see more than two feet in front of him. His vision was hazy, outlined in smoky black. “R-Richie?” he called again._

_Eddie felt cold, his entire body shivered as if spiders were crawling under his skin. He felt exposed. Too open. Something doesn’t feel right. Why does it hurt? Everything hurts. I can’t breathe. Richie. Richie where are you? I can’t fucking breath!_

_He tried to look around, only seeing obsidian stone and feet. Feet! Someone was there!_

_“Hey! Help me. I can’t breathe. I can’t see!”_

_“We have to leave him,” sobbed a voice._

_“He’s gone,” declared another. Eddie felt his heart race in spite of the pain._

_“No!” he begged. “I’m right here! I’m right here, don’t leave!”_

_“C’mon we have to go.” Another voice._

_“We have to leave now. It’s too late for him.” A fourth voice._

_Eddie attempted to stand. To prove to them he was right there. They didn’t need to leave him. He wasn’t just dead weight. He summoned all his strength, gritted his teeth so hard he tasted blood in his mouth. But he didn’t budge. His limbs trembled in place, unable to support him. He felt like he was drowning, a warm liquid boiling up into his lungs. His chest felt heavy and damp. Sticky. Eddie grimaced, he felt disgusting, grotesque. He heard the faint sound of laughter. High pitched and nearly demonic._

_Hands grabbed his face and moved his head up. It was a phantom sensation, the movement all in slow motion. A man with glasses stared back at him. He’d never seen him before, but there was something familiar about him. Something that should have made him feel safe. The man was crying, sobbing really. In the midst of all the pain, the disorientation, the dying…he was dying…he wanted to reach out for this man. Wanted to cling to him. Grab him like a life raft through the hazy sea his brain was drifting in._

_“I’m so sorry Eddie,” the man whispered. Eddie’s vision went black. He couldn’t hear. All his senses shut off._

_“Don’t leave me!” he begged, choking on hot sobs. “Don’t leave me alone!”_

“Eddie. Baby! Eddie wake up!” Richie begged. His voice was scared. His boyfriend was thrashing around violently. Eddie opened his eyes, and scanned wildly. He settled on his boyfriend, his facial features distorted by the darkness of the room. He was in Richie’s room. That’s right. He came for a sleepover to celebrate New Year’s Day. Eddie blinked away the nightmare, but his chest was still tight.

“Inhaler,” he gasped. “Please, now!” Richie nodded and scrambled out of the bed. He knocked a few things off the bedside table, a water bottle, radio, and various items scattering to the floor until he grasped the medicine. He hopped back in the bed, vigorously shaking the inhaler like he had seen Eddie do so many times before. He cradled the squirming teen in his arms and held the medicine to his mouth, giving him two puffs.

Eddie gave shaky inhales, but his body eventually stilled. He allowed his muscles to relax and he rested his head in the crook of Richie’s neck. Hot tears had stained his cheeks leaving glistening trails illuminated by the faint haze from the alarm clock light.

“Sweetheart?” Richie whispered.

“Don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone,” Eddie whimpered.

“Eddie why would I-”

“Promise,” he said with force. Eddie wrapped his arms around Richie, squeezing so tight it almost hurt. Richie’s lip trembled. Seeing Eddie like this broke his heart.

“I promise. I promise; I could never leave you. Eddie, I love you so much.” He rocked his boyfriend softly, kissing along his hairline. Eddie settled after a few minutes and Richie lay back down in bed. He wrapped the blanket in a cocoon around them and held Eddie close to his chest.

“I love you too,” Eddie mumbled, soothed by the sound of Richie’s strong heartbeat through his thin body.

“Get some sleep, spaghetti.” Richie closed his eyes, listening to Eddie’s breathing until he finally heard gentle snoring. Richie felt like there was a hole in his heart, the sight of Eddie so panicked, so terrified; it made Richie feel hollow. _I promise, Eds._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We hit 200 kudos!  
> In celebration, I thought I could write 2-3 Reddie oneshots separate from this story. Any ideas/requests?


	16. Day Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little break from the angst. Eddie and Richie return to school for their last semester, but Richie seems determined to keep Eddie from concentrating.

An obnoxious honk rang through the icy morning. Eddie rubbed his eyes with a fist and groaned, his breath smoking hot against the frigidness. Eddie stomped down the front walkway of his house, blinking angrily against the sunrise. He looked up at the car; Richie was smiling widely from the driver’s seat. Eddie hopped in the passenger’s side and buckled himself without a word.

“Rise and shine sleeping beauty. Isn’t it a loooooovely morning?” Richie asked playfully.

“Just drive,” Eddie grumbled.

“Somebody is grumpy,” Richie quipped, pulling back onto the street.

“How are you so happy?” he snapped back. “It’s fucking 6:30 in the morning, and we have to go back to school.”

“Uh yeah, except this is our last fucking semester in Derry. And also my first semester where I can day dream sexy things that might actually happen.” Eddie raised his eyebrows at this.

“Is that something you do…like in class?”

“Oh, Eds,” Richie began with a sly smile. “You would not believe all the stuff I’ve thought about us doing while in literature class.” Eddie’s cheeks blushed a soft pink. He looked out the front window in silence for about a minute. “You’re trying to figure out what I was thinking about, aren’t you?” Richie teased.

“Fuck off, no. Also that’s bullshit, if you literally spend all class daydreaming how do you still get straight As?”

“What can I say? This dumbass ain’t stupid.” Eddie rolled his eyes and turned to look out the window. He felt Richie reach for his hand and grip it tightly, stroking the skin with his thumb. “I’m in a good mood, spaghetti, because I get to start my day with you. I get to start my day with saying ‘I love you.’” Eddie cracked a smile, but continued to look out the window away from Richie.

“I love you too.” Richie continued to drive, the soft hum of the radio interrupted with crackles of interference. Eddie frowned slightly as they pulled into the parking lot of the school; the whole break had felt like a dream and he wasn’t sure he wanted to wake up. He didn’t want to see the guys from swim team again, he didn’t want to hide who he was for another eight hours a day.

Richie passed a line of frosted cars and continued to drive. Eddie shot him a questioning glance, but the taller teen continued to drive. Eddie felt his chest tighten when he realized that Richie was driving the parking spot where they had ended their date. Richie parked, his car its own island in the middle of the giant expanse of asphalt.

“You know you parked as far away as possible, Rich,” Eddie commented.

“I know. It’s so I could do this before class.” Richie grabbed Eddie’s shirt and pulled him close for a heated kiss. Eddie thrust a hand into his boyfriend’s hair and sucked on his bottom lip. The taller boy moaned softly, the sound waking Eddie up in more than one way. Richie slid his hand up Eddie’s thigh and palmed at a distinct hardness in the shorter boy’s jeans. _Damn, that was fast._ “I bet you’ll be thinking about this is statistics,” Richie whispered. He gave Eddie a wide grin before exiting the car.

“Mother fucker,” Eddie muttered to himself.

“I heard that,” Richie yelled through the door. “And I definitely am.”

The two walked up to the building, playfully pushing at kicking at each other. Bill and Beverly were hanging out at the entrance while she smoked a cigarette.

“Aren’t you two adorable?” she commented.

“Jealous, Marsh?” Richie asked, swinging an arm around Eddie’s shoulder.

“Jealous of having to hear your dumb jokes more than I already do? Not really, Trashmouth.” Bill laughed loudly at this, and Eddie had to cover up his smile.

“You too, Big Bill?” Richie asked, giving his best puppy eyes.

“When she’s right she’s right, Rich,” Bill agreed.

“Eddie, my love?” Eddie shrugged casually.

“I think we should get to class.”

“Ouch. Everyone’s a critic, I see.” The four turned to walk inside the building, breathing a collective sigh as the air turned warm against cold skin. The halls were crowded, a buzz of excitement settling over the multitude of frostbitten students.

“Only a few more months,” Bill mused. “And we’ll finally be free of this place.”

“Good. Derry’s a fucking drag,” Richie quipped. Eddie and Beverly nodded in agreement. Five months to freedom.

They dispersed upon hearing the harsh bell echo through the halls. Eddie gave a warm smile to Richie, but that was the end of their interaction. He wished he could kiss him, hold his hand, play with his hair; all the other couples got to without so much as a second glance. But just because the swim team had to leave him alone didn’t mean someone else would turn a blind eye.

“Hey Eddie, wait!” Richie called, bolting up the flight of stairs. Eddie gripped the hand rail. _Don’t do anything stupid, you moron._

“What? We need to get to class, Richie.” The taller teen just grinned. A shit-eating grin that made Eddie’s stomach flip. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Richie leaned over and whispered in Eddie’s ear.

“Wanna know what one of my day dreams is? One of us being tied up. I’ll let you wonder which one during statistics. Love you, Eddiekinz.” Richie turned on his heels and bolted for class leaving Eddie beet red, paralyzed on the steps as multiple students brushed past, unaware that he had essentially imploded.

Eddie tapped his pencil impatiently as the teacher passed around the syllabus. He needed something to read, something to look at, anything to pull focus from the thought Richie had planted in his mind. He wasn’t going to give that idiot the satisfaction of distracting him during class. He could still feel the heat in his cheeks, and he was forced to take a layer off to keep from sweating. The teacher, Dr. Lassiter, finally passed out all of the papers and began to talk, his voice like sifting sand. _This is gonna be a long semester._

He attempted to pay attention, he really did. He even took notes on the grading system and circled important due dates…but it was only the motions. His mind was other places, bouncing around like pong as he attempted to keep himself from thinking about what Richie said. _One of us being tied up…one of us._ He didn’t care. He didn’t care which one of them it was. Didn’t care that Richie had been picturing these things long before they got together. Didn’t care that his boyfriend probably got throbbing erections in the middle of class thinking dirty thoughts about the two of them together.

_Fuck me, I really don’t care about your discipline system, Lassiter._ Eddie bit down on his lower lip. _Fuck it. It’s a syllabus day, nothing important anyway._ Eddie sighed and looked out the window, allowing his mind to finally wander where it longed to go. He thought about himself first, perhaps tied up with scarves, his wrists attached to Richie’s bed posts. Richie’s lean body crawling, animalistic, towards him. Spreading his legs, leaving bruises in his inner thighs…

Eddie’s cheeks were turning pink. He paused a moment to doodle something on his paper, attempting to calm himself down. He wondered if that’s what his boyfriend thought about. But maybe it was the other way around…what if Richie was the one getting tied up. Eddie’s body tingled from his core out to the tips of his hair. _Well, fuck._

An image began to form deliciously in Eddie’s imagination. He crossed his legs awkwardly, feeling himself growing excited. He pictured Richie, his hands tied behind his back. His thin body bound with lines of rope. His face pressed into the mattress while his feet were attached to the foot of the bed, his ass raised high in the air. Eddie would crawl over to him, grinding his hard cock against Richie’s hole. He’d lean over his boyfriend, grabbing his thick cock and jerking him off while he couldn’t even move his hands. The idea of Richie being under his control, being helpless to whatever Eddie wanted to do to him. To touch him in any way he wanted. _Oh Jesus, fuck!_

The bell rang, interrupting Eddie’s fantasy. His cock had grown painfully against his jeans and the teen was forced to wait for most of the class to exit before he could stand. He slung his book bag over his shoulder and held his coat in front of his crotch. He attempted to make it look natural, but he couldn’t help but think that everyone could tell he was aroused. He traveled to his next class and his heart skipped when he saw Richie in the hallway.

He quickened his pace and caught up, gripping his boyfriend by the wrist. Richie turned and gave Eddie an innocent smile.

“What’s up, Eds?”

“Second level maintenance closet. After 3rd period,” Eddie bit caustically, but Richie could see the tell tale blush in his cheeks.

“Roger that, captain.” Eddie rolled his eyes and huffed off, leaving Richie to walk alone in his smugness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Still open to any ideas for one shots. Also, updates might be a little less frequent in the next 2 weeks. I'm starting a freelance writing gig tomorrow and will be focused primarily on that.


	17. Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Richie meet up in the maintenance closet and try a few new things.

Richie practically sauntered up to the maintenance closet while the majority of seniors filed down to lunch and study hall. He waited to make sure the hallway was clear before slipping in, grinning smugly to himself. He honestly thought Eddie was too squeamish to want to make out somewhere like this, but Richie wasn’t going to question it. He knew they wouldn’t be interrupted; the janitor was old and rather out of shape. The second floor only got cleaned about once a month; all the teachers knew it but no one wanted to snitch on the old man either. They’d keep the lights off and no one would be the wiser to the dirty deeds going on.

Richie slung off his book bag and propped it up against the wall. He lay on the floor, using his book bag as a pillow and waited patiently. After two minutes he heard light footsteps approaching and a shadow at the frosted window. His cock twitched as the door knob opened, and he tried to lay out as seductively as possible in the cramped space. Eddie slipped in and closed the door softly. He grabbed a wet floor sign and used it to jam the door.

“Hey handsome, you come here often?” Richie purred. Eddie shot him a warning glance as he removed his shirt. Richie’s eyes widened, enjoying the unexpected view.

“You fucking bastard. I’ve been hard for two straight hours.”

“Don’t blame me for your dirty little mind, Eddie Spaghetti.”

“Take of your shirt.”

“Yes, sir,” Richie answered playfully. Eddie’s face was red and flushed, his tone flustered. He looked so cute Richie wanted to giggle. As he pulled his shirt over his head, Eddie got down on his knees between Richie’s legs.

“Wanna know what I day dreamed?” he asked, his tone was lascivious.

“Duh, of course I wanna know what’s got you all hot and bothered.” Eddie gave a wicked grin and pulled something out of his pocket. He pressed his lips to Richie’s, pushing his tongue forward to invade the taller boy’s mouth. Richie was aware of Eddie messing with his hands and wrists, and when he pulled away from the kiss he realized why. His boyfriend had bound his wrists together with a shoelace. “Oh shit,” Richie murmured.

“Now, get on your knees and face the wall,” Eddie commanded. His voice was calm and clear, as if he’d been practicing what he’d say. Richie obeyed, his mind blank. This was not what he was expecting. He thought they’d suck a little face, maybe a hand job if time allowed. This was…naughty.

Eddie grabbed Richie’s hands and lifted them up. He pulled away the mop that was hanging on a hook and set it to the side so that he could hook Richie’s wrists over it. The taller boy’s lean body was stretched out, a slight bend allowed in his arms. Eddie kissed the back of Richie’s neck, nosing at his thick locks.

“Is this what you were thinking about?” Richie whispered. His bare torso had broken out in gooseflesh and his cock strained against his jeans. He felt so exposed, so wanton.

“More or less,” Eddie replied in his ear, tracing his hands up and down Richie’s body. “I was thinking about you being all tied up, doing what I wanted to you.” Richie moaned softly, and Eddie pinched at his erect nipples. The shorter boy pushed his hair to the side and trailed kissed down his neck and shoulder. “So, which one of us did you think would be tied up?”

“Let’s just say that fantasies come true, Eds.” Richie leaned his ass back to rub against Eddie’s crotch. He shivered as he felt the protruding hardness. He knew the shoe laces weren’t strong; he could easily break free or lift himself off the hook. The maintenance closet wasn’t sexy or erotic. But knowing that Eddie had the same fantasy as him; knowing that _his_ Eddie, the sickly and nervous boy he’d been friends with for so many years, had tied him up and was taking charge; well this was the hottest thing that had ever happened to Richie Trashmouth Tozier.

Eddie hooked his fingers into Richie’s belt loops and tugged his pants down. Richie adjusted so that Eddie could bring them down to his ankles. The floor was uncomfortable on his bare knees, but he wasn’t about to say anything. He heard Eddie unzip his jeans and moaned loudly as his boyfriend pressed his erection up against his ass.

“Is that a knife in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

“Beep beep, Richie.” Eddie held Richie’s hip in place with his right hand and gripped the taller boy’s erection with his left. Eddie grinded up against Richie’s ass as he slowly pumped him, holding the shaft firmly.

“Holy shit, Eds,” Richie moaned. Eddie growled and bit down on Richie’s shoulder to leave a dark hickey. Richie pressed his forehead against the wall, enjoying how the laces bit into his skin. He shifted his hips back against Eddie’s cock, earning a sharp hiss. Eddie gave a slap to Richie’s ass, and the taller boy emitted a delighted whine.

“Fuck, I like hearing the sounds you make,” Eddie whispered. He continued to jerk Richie off as he slid his cock between Richie’s cheeks. Richie bit down on his bottom lip; he wanted more. He wanted to know what it felt like, to explore the sensation he was feeling grazing at his hole.

“Eddie?”

“Yeah baby?” he grunted as he thrust sensually against Richie.

“C-can you, uh-“

“Yes, Richie?” he responded. Eddie’s tone had become concerned and gentle.

“Put your fingers in me.” Eddie released Richie’s cock and he fell away from his back side. The maintenance closet became silent, an intensity cloaked the air.

“You sure?” Eddie asked softly. He was nervous; Richie could always tell.

“Please…as long as you feel comfortable but…I really want you to.” Richie had tried to finger himself on a few occasions while he masturbated; mostly thinking about Eddie. He had kind of liked it, but it never felt quite right. He felt awkward and couldn’t get the right angle.

“Okay baby,” Eddie agreed. He turned Richie’s face and captured his lips, giving him a sweet and firm kiss. He licked Richie’s bottom lip slowly. Richie’s breath hitched. Eddie got back behind his boyfriend and spread Richie’s legs wider. He brought his fingers around to Richie’s mouth.

“Suck,” he commanded. “Get them nice and wet for me.” Richie moaned, his entire body tingling in anticipation. He took Eddie’s middle and index fingers in his mouth and sucked dutifully, licking between them and grazing the knuckles with his teeth. “You want some Vaseline, too? I think I have some in my pack?” Richie nodded silently and waited as Eddie rifled through his supplies. The short boy squirted some to coat his fingers.

“Pull my hair?” Richie asked almost shyly. Eddie gripped a handful of Richie’s locks and tugged back. With his other hand he rubbed around Richie’s ass, teasing the hole at first. Richie jerked, a little surprised by the sensation. It tickled a bit at the entrance, a delicious warmth spreading through his abdomen.

“You ready?” Eddie asked, fisting deeper into Richie’s hair.

“Yes, I’m ready, Eds.” Eddie slowly pushed his index finger in, kissing softly along Richie’s back to keep him relaxed. He felt warm and tight around Eddie’s finger; there was a little resistance at first, but bit by bit he loosened up.

“You okay?” Richie just nodded. Eddie’s finger felt foreign and odd, but Richie’s cock felt so hard he didn’t want it to stop. Eddie slowly moved his finger in and out, the friction tantalizing to Richie. The taller teen pulled at his restraints slightly, and moaned as it tightened. Eddie curled his finger while inside Richie, and this earned the pleasured whine he was hoping for.

“Oh fuck, yeah that. That’s good,” Richie stated, his voice raspy and eager. Eddie continued to curl his finger, pulsating gently inside his boyfriend.

“You like that baby? You like feeling me inside you?”

“Fucking hell, yes. Keep going.” Eddie licked his lips, enjoying seeing Richie come undone. Richie arched his back and moaned, wanting more. Eddie inserted his middle finger slowly, stretching him out and scissoring lightly. The shorter boy felt so sexy, giving his boyfriend this kind of pleasure; fingering him secretly during the school day, and no one knew.

Eddie curled both fingers inside Richie, who moaned and bucked his hips in response. Eddie then began to pulse with more force, focusing his movements deep inside Richie and quickening his pace. Richie felt as if his whole lower half was vibrating, his entire body tightening.

“That’s right baby, you like it when I fuck you?” Eddie asked. His own words had surprised, but saying them out loud made him feel hot and sweaty.

“Jesus Christ, Eddie. You keep talking like that and I’m gonna lose my mind,” Richie muttered. Eddie’s fingers reached deep inside him to places he’d never felt. He felt full and warm, his body building as Eddie moved inside him.

“Good. I wanna make you cum so hard you see fucking stars,” Eddie responded. He let go of Richie’s hair and grabbed his thick cock. He began to pump again as he fingered him with the other hand.

“Oh, fuck me!” Richie cried out, becoming overwhelmed with the stimulation. He couldn’t hold on any longer and his hips began to jerk erratically as he came, his muscles contracting around Eddie’s fingers. He felt a little woozy at first and gave a few shutters in the wake of the aftershocks. Richie winced slightly as Eddie removed his fingers. His boyfriend helped him off of the mop hook and deftly untied the knot. Eddie leaned Richie back into his lap and examined his wrists before kissing along the small bruises.

“Are you okay?” Eddie asked. His voice was soft and sweet like normal.

“I’m fucking fantastic, Eds. Just a little shocked…”

“Yeah, me too. Just seeing you tied up like that; it was really hot.”

“I didn’t know you could take control like that.”

“Me either, but you really made me want to.” Eddie held Richie close, stroking his stomach with his thumb. “I love you so much.”

“Well you better, you did just have your fingers knuckle deep in my asshole.”

“Jesus Christ, Richard!” Eddie chastised. Richie chuckled and gave a shrug.

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

“You’re an idiot. I’ll tell you that.” Eddie kissed him on the cheek and gave a deep sigh. “Time to sneak back to reality, huh?”

“Yeah I guess. But at least now I have something to think about during physics,” Richie joked, earning an exasperated eye roll from Eddie.

“Incorrigible,” Eddie muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with the story, I hope you're enjoying it so far. Love ya'll.


	18. After Practice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie gives Eddie a ride from swim practice, only to come home to an empty house.

Richie drummed on the steering wheel as his car idled in front of the school. He hadn’t gotten to see much of Eddie since their experience in the closet. Eddie’s mother always insisted on getting him various checkups right after school break on account of there was ‘always something going around this time of year.’ On top of that, they decided to keep some distance from each other periodically, just in case anyone at school might suspect something. It sounded a bit paranoid, but better safe than sorry in Derry.

At lunch that afternoon however, Eddie asked Richie to pick him up after swim practice. His mom had an appointment, and while he knew the guys wouldn’t hurt him, he didn’t want to be harassed the whole walk home either. Richie, of course, agreed immediately. He couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened earlier that week. The way it felt to be filled, to be exposed, to be taken care of. He wanted to do the same for his boyfriend; he wanted to make him feel just as good.

Richie flipped on the radio and cracked open his copy of _Ethan Frome_ from his book bag. Richie could usually skate by his classes without studying, but his new literature teacher was going to challenge that. Mrs. Dembowski expected fully flushed out literary essays and did not read the book aloud in class, forcing Richie to read in his own spare time. Not that Richie hated reading, but he preferred comic books or secret spy novels, not some random artistic prose pulled from the depths of history. As he read to the tunes of Bon Jovi and Aerosmith muddling through the speaker, he had to admit that this particular book wasn’t unbearable.

The barren winters, the bland townspeople; it was just like Derry. Poor Ethan was hopelessly in love with someone he wasn’t allowed to have, and they had to carry on in secret. “I feel for you, dude,” Richie muttered.

Richie looked over at the clock, and a small heat rose up from his chest. Eddie would be out any second now. He pulled out of his parking spot and drove over to the pick-up area where a few parents were also waiting. Richie glanced around to see middle aged women tapping their steering wheels impatiently as they argued with a toddler in the back seat. There were also disinterested balding men who looked irritated that they had to leave work early for this. Richie felt sorry for them; he wasn’t going to be like that when he grew up. He was going to be happy with his life.

He watched the doors intently, eager to see Eddie. He missed his boyfriend, and though he had known him for nearly his whole life, he couldn’t shake the butterflies he still got when he saw him. He’d never tell Eddie this of course; way too corny. The corners of his mouth pricked up when he finally saw Eddie slip through the doors and bound down the stairs towards his car.

“What’s up, loser?” Richie greeted as his boyfriend slid into the passenger’s seat. Eddie groaned, the smell of chlorine wafting off of his skin.

“Just drive Trashmouth.”

“Whatever you say, Eds.” He peeled out and sped past the parents, eager to get Eddie alone. “You’re still good to come to my house, right?” Richie asked.

“Yeah, as long as you don’t mind me taking a shower there,” Eddie muttered. Richie furrowed his brows.

“Hey, I’m all for you being naked in my vicinity, but aren’t you supposed to shower in the locker rooms?” Eddie looked out the window, his soft face drawn into a frown.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea anymore. Now that they know they’ll just think I’m perving on them.”

“Well that’s bullshit. You’re the only one in that shower worth looking at,” Richie retorted. Eddie turned and gave him a small smile. “But I understand. Do what you need to stay safe, Eds.” Richie continued to drive, careful to avoid the patches of ice and the impeding snow drifts.

“I’ve missed you, Rich.”

“Yeah, I missed you too. Been waking up hard as hell every damn morning.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“We almost got through five minutes of conversation without you talking about your dick.”

“Hey, you’ve seen it. It’s worth talking about.” Richie pulled into his home’s driveway and parked. He turned to Eddie and stole a quick kiss. “I really did miss you.”

“Yeah, I know…idiot.”

“Sticks and stones, Eds. I don’t care what you call me so long as you call me.” They exited the car and ran for the front door, their bodies cutting through the bitter chill of the afternoon. Richie fiddled with the keys, his fingers too cold to grip them.

“Hurry up, Rich. My hair’s still wet and I’m not about to get pneumonia.” Richie finally unlocked the door and tumbled inside, Eddie clinging to him for every bit of warmth he could manage to soak up. They looked around the house, listening for any sign of noise. Eddie looked at Richie, trying to gauge if they were having the same thought. “Is anyone home?”

“No. Wentworth’s working late again, and I think my mom has plans with her friend.”

“Interesting,” Eddie commented, dropping his backpack and swim bag by the door, kicking off his shoes to join them. He turned towards the stairs, removing his jacket and dropping it at the base. Richie went to pick it up, surprised by Eddie’s lack of manners. He opened his mouth to speak, but was stopped as he saw Eddie remove his shirt, leaving his toned torso naked. He dropped the shirt halfway up the stairs.

“Eds, whatcha doing?” Richie asked, his cheeks burning. Eddie stopped at the top of the stairs, dragging his pants down to his ankles.

“Getting ready for my shower,” he explained calmly, but Richie could see the mischievous glitter in his eye. Eddie stood now only in his speedo, the material still damp and clinging. Richie could tell Eddie’s cock was semi hard already as it pressed against the swimsuit. Richie bit down on his lip, watching Eddie turn to walk down the hall, his ass peeking out teasingly from the speedo. Richie followed eagerly, dropping the clothes. He’d get them later.

Eddie was waiting in the open doorway to the bathroom, leaning against the frame. His speedo was off, and his cock stood ready and long between his legs. He smiled at Richie, who was growing uncomfortably hard; he pulled awkwardly at his jeans.

“You know, I’m glad you didn’t shower there. I’d be jealous of your whole team, then,” Richie commented. His voice was breathy, his eyes scanning Eddie’s body wildly behind his large glasses.

“Wanna come in for a second?” Eddie asked innocently. “I think I need you to show me how to work the shower.” Richie removed his shirt immediately, discarding it to the floor. He grabbed Eddie by the hips, capturing his mouth in a heated kiss. Eddie returned it, crafting his lips desperately against his boyfriend’s. 

“I’ll show you whatever you want.”

“Good, because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you for days,” Eddie responded. He entered into the bathroom, the tiles cool against his feet. Richie scurried after, shutting the door and locking it behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so patient for the update. I have two other freelance projects going on that I'm trying to juggle, but I love working on this fic <3


	19. Washed Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Richie have an erotic experience in the shower, but it's cut short.
> 
> Slight trigger warning for anxiety and PTSD due to medical treatments.

Richie turned around from locking the door, and was greeted with Eddie smashing his lips against his. Eddie pinned the taller boy to the door, his fingers flying to Richie’s belt. Richie licked across Eddie’s bottom lip, only to have his tongue captured. Eddie sucked on it mercilessly, earning an uninhibited moan. He unzipped Richie’s jeans and dragged them down to the floor falling on his knees.

The bathroom filled up with heat and the sound of heavy breathing. Eddie gripped Richie’s cock and stroked it a few times before kissing the head. He looked up with large brown eyes, and Richie adjusted his glasses clumsily which had fogged up from kissing his boyfriend.

“I want you to be rough with me,” Eddie commented.

“Are y-you sure?” Richie stammered. He liked when Eddie had been in control; he enjoyed being taken care of for once. Looking into Eddie’s soft brown eyes, seeing him look so small and eager as he kneeled in front of him…Richie couldn’t believe what he had just heard.

“Please, Rich? I want us to try everything together, and right now I’m so god damn horny I just want you to use me.”

“Fuuuck,” Richie moaned, his mind was reeling. “Then come here,” he growled. He gripped onto Eddie’s hair and pushed himself into the shorter teen’s mouth. Eddie moaned as Richie filled him, his hands supporting himself against the door. Richie tugged at his hair, a slight sting that went straight to Eddie’s cock. Richie bucked his hips into Eddie’s mouth, hitting the back of his boyfriend’s throat mercilessly. “That’s right, you like it when I fuck your mouth?”

Eddie clawed his fingernails into the door, helpless to Richie’s motions. It was hard to breath, and this new force challenged even his gag reflex. He made a small choking sound as Richie’s cock slipped down the back of his throat.

“I like hearing you choke on my dick,” Richie murmured. His head was tossed back, his eyes closed as he reveled in Eddie’s mouth. “You like being my dirty little cock slut?” Eddie whined, desperate and hot as Richie yanked his hair back, pulling him off with a lewd pop.

“Holy shit, where did you learn to talk like that?” Eddie was breathing hard, his brown eyes fully dilated.

“I uh- I may have watched a dirty movie a few months ago. They said a lot of stuff like that… is that okay?” Eddie nodded with wide eyes, his mouth hung slightly open. It was downright filthy, and it made Eddie’s ears burn. Richie’s black hair was disheveled his entire torso bright red; Eddie wanted to make him cum so badly. But as he leaned in to take Richie’s cock again, the taller teen grabbed squeezed his cheeks and lifted his chin.

“I’m gonna start the shower. I want you to touch yourself while you wait,” Richie whispered. Eddie gave a high moan and instantly grabbed his cock. He stood as Richie walked over to the shower and waited for the hot water. Eddie stroked his shaft, leaning his body against the door for support. Richie’s thick cock hung deliciously between his legs, the curve of his ass prominent as he leaned over the lip of the tub. Eddie wanted to kiss the hair that sprouted up from his member, that thick dark trail that culminated around his stomach.

Eddie didn’t have much body hair, especially now that whatever he did have was shaved for swim meets. But he loved seeing it on Richie, it made him look older and sexy. He massaged the thumb over the head of his cock, smiling as Richie took off his glasses and carefully placed them on the counter.

“You’re so god damned sexy,” Eddie moaned, his voice deeper than usual. Richie couldn’t help the blush that crept into his cheeks.

“Oh hush you, now get in the shower so the ravishing can begin,” Richie teased, a genuine grin stained on his face."

“Why don’t you make me?” Eddie challenged.

“Oh Eds, I have spent many a math class imagining you saying that to me.” Richie grabbed Eddie by the wrist and pulled him close, kissing him deeply. Richie’s hands traveled down to Eddie’s ass and he lifted him up. Eddie wrapped legs around Richie’s thin waist, gripping him tightly with his thighs. Richie stepped into the tub, his arms shaking as he gripped onto his boyfriend. Once inside the shower he pushed Eddie’s back up against the tile, the stream of water cascading down their faces. Richie kissed Eddie again, their lips wet, their torsos sliding against each other. Richie’s cock rubbed against Eddie’s ass.

“Fuck Rich, take me.” Richie gripped Eddie’s ass with bruising force as he thrusted, grinding desperately against him. Eddie whined as Richie sucked on his tongue. He gripped onto Richie’s matted wet hair, odd sensations tingling through his body as Richie’s cock teased at his hole. Richie made his way down to Eddie’s throat, biting and sucking till the skin seemed to burn. Eddie should have stopped him, these hickey’s wouldn’t be easy to hide. But in the moment, naked and sliding against Richie, feeling his cock and the heat of his mouth; Eddie wanted to be marked.

Richie slid Eddie down to stand under the stream. He stroked Eddie’s cheek with his hand, running his thumb across his bottom lip. Was it normal to feel this way about a person? To want to dominate and submit to them? To use and to please them? He and Eddie were two sides of the same coin; they were meant to be together.

“Now turn around and brace yourself against the wall,” Richie commanded, his tone eager and excited. Eddie gave a sly smile and licked up Richie’s throat before ghosting his lips over the taller teen’s mouth.

“Like I said before; make me.” Richie growled, and gripped Eddie by the hip bones. He spun him around quickly, forcing him to catch himself against the cool tile. Eddie grinned, enjoying Richie’s frustration, his force. Richie fell to his knees, and took a moment to enjoy his view. The water streamed down Eddie’s back, carving a path along the muscles before washing over his ass, perky and round. Richie gripped Eddie’s ass and moved and shook it, spreading them eagerly. “Shit,” Eddie whined.

Richie played with Eddie’s balls, massaging them carefully. He spread Eddie’s legs and gave a long lick before putting them in his mouth sucking softly. Eddie took in a deep gasp, the sound cutting sharply through the steam of the room.

“Mother of god,” Eddie cried out, his brain had gone blank. He’d never really paid any attention to himself down there, but that might have to change. Richie continued, spreading Eddie’s cheeks wide, revealing his clean hole. Richie wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing, but the people in the movie he watched seemed to really enjoy it.

He licked Eddie’s hole slowly, earning an ‘oh, wow’ from the shorter teen. He applied some more pressure licking at Eddie’s entrance. He circled his tongue, swirling and teasing as Eddie twitched delightfully. He prodded the entrance with his tongue, poking slightly in.

Eddie’s entire body tingled, this very new feeling surprising. Eddie leaned his head against the slick tile. Richie circled his finger around the hole, stroking the skin.

“Is this okay?” Richie asked, shaking away his wet hair from his face.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Eddie answered, nodding his head tentatively. Richie smiled to himself and slowly pushed in his index finger. He was met with resistance, but continued patiently. The feeling was uncomfortable, and he recognized it immediately. For about a year Eddie had been forced to undergo enemas, colonoscopies, and suppositories; all things he knew he didn’t need. Things his mother insisted on out of fear of Eddie having some unknown illness that would take him away from her. They had stopped when he was around thirteen, after his mother had turned her attention to some knew revolutionary healing treatment. He had all but forgotten about it, maybe even blocked it out from his mind. Eddie’s back tensed and he felt a lump in his throat. Richie’s finger was now inside him, and he could feel his heart racing and his legs shaking. Eddie’s breathing picked up, his fingers curling desperately against the shower wall.

“Is this good, Eds?”

“No. Stop,” Eddie whispered, his voice almost inaudible over the sound of the water.

“What?” Richie asked, his body frozen.

“Stop. I need you to stop!” Eddie’s voice was panicked, and Richie cursed under his breath as he removed his finger. Eddie crumpled to the bottom of the tub, and Richie could hear him crying softly.

“Oh shit, Eddie. Eddie I’m sorry, what’s wrong?”

“Can you go?” Eddie asked, not looking at Richie.

“Eds-”

“Please just go I need a minute.” Richie tried to rub Eddie’s back comfortingly, but the shorter teen just shook him off. “Just get out!” Richie stood up quickly and nearly slipped getting out of the tub, wrapped a towel around his waist, and retreated to the hallway. Richie pressed his back up against the wall and slid to the floor, waiting outside the doorway. He listened carefully for Eddie, hoping his soft cries would stop soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for keeping with it! We've reached 300+ Kudos! Also I hope to make updates more regular again now that I've finished my freelance gig. Love ya'll.


	20. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of angst, a lot of comfort...maybe some foreshadowing. Dialogue heavy chapter.

“Eddie?” Richie called from the hallway. He turned to look inside the bathroom from his seat on the floor, but Eddie hadn’t moved from behind the shower curtain.

“Rich, I mean it. Just leave me alone. I’ll be good in a second.” Eddie’s voice was scared and he almost sounded ashamed. Richie bit his bottom lip nervously, but eventually got up and stood outside the shower.

“Eddie, clearly something is wrong-”

“It’s fine!” Eddie’s voice caught with a small sob; Richie’s lip trembled at the sound.

“Eds, you know how you made me promise not to leave you behind? Don’t shut me out either, okay? Whatever you’re going through right now, let me in with you. You were there for me, and as your boyfriend I should be there for you.” There was almost a full minute of silence, punctuated by the water pattering against the tub.

“C-can you get me a towel?” Eddie finally asked, his voice was small. Richie grabbed another towel off the rack and drew back the shower curtain. Eddie was still sitting in the tub, the water streaming down his back.

“Come on, Eds,” Richie encouraged softly, turning off the shower. Eddie looked up at Richie, his large brown eyes red and irritated. His cheeks were flushed, the blush extending down his throat. The sight made Richie feel as if his heart might rip in half. He wrapped Eddie up in the towel and helped lift him up out of the tub. Eddie leaned against his boyfriend, his wet hair cold against Richie’s bare chest.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie whispered.

“No. Don’t be sorry! I should be the one who’s sorry, Eds. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me, Rich,” Eddie explained. He sighed loudly and wrapped the towel tight around himself. “Can we talk about this once we’re dressed?”

“Yeah- yeah of course. You go ahead, okay? I gotta pick up our clothes from before my mom comes back.” Eddie nodded and continued to the bedroom. He quickly dried off his hair and pulled on a pair of Richie’s sweats and one of his band t-shirts. Eddie crawled into the bed and burrowed under the covers, waiting patiently for Richie to return. He heard the door creak open and then the sound of Richie pawing through the drawers for something to wear.

Richie nestled into the bed and pulled Eddie in close, giving a small kiss to the back of his neck. Eddie sighed, allowing himself to melt back into Richie. Richie always made him feel safe, and he felt terrible if he had made him think otherwise with the shower incident. He pulled Richie’s arms tighter around his torso and closed his eyes.

“Are you ready to talk about it?” Richie prompted.

“Okay. I want to start by saying it had nothing to do with you, okay? I freaked out because-” Eddie paused, his chest tightening. “Jesus Christ, I’m so fucking embarrassed,” he muttered. His eyes were pricking with tears; he did not want to cry again.

“Shh, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about okay? I just want to understand.”

“After my dad died from cancer, my mom kinda spiraled. She became extremely worried about my health and always thought I was ill or had some disease…it didn’t help that he had prostate cancer.” Richie bit the inside of his cheek, but said nothing. _Fucking Sonia._ “So for a while she made me- I had to do things like colonoscopies and enemas.”

“Oh shit, Eddie. I didn’t know that.”

“I didn’t tell anyone. Sometimes I’d have to leave you guys early to come home and take a suppository…I feel so stupid.”

“You aren’t Eddie,” Richie reassured him. He kissed his hair, stroking his thumb along Eddie’s torso. “That sounds awful.”

“It was such a long time ago, though. I don’t know why all of a sudden- I mean I had practically forgotten about it. I know I’m health conscious and sometimes overreact; but even at that age, deep down I knew that I didn’t need any of those treatments. And they were so uncomfortable and so gross and-” Eddie’s voice cracked, and the tears finally fell down his cheeks. “Fuck,” he cried.

“Eddie, oh god Eddie I’m so sorry.” Richie shifted Eddie, turning the shorter boy to face him. Eddie embraced Richie forcefully, his tears staining Richie’s shirt. Eddie softly cried for a few moments, nuzzling under Richie’s chin.

“And now I just feel so fucked up. Like, I hate that that stuff was done to me…it’s embarrassing. I hate that I can’t have that experience with you…like what’s the fucking point? What kind of gay guy can’t even let his boyfriend put a single fucking finger inside him?”

“Whoa, Eddie, hold on-”

“I don’t want you to get bored of me. Or think I’m broken. I don’t want to be your damaged boyfriend that you have to tip toe around because he can’t handle-”

“Eds, stop.” Richie sat up in the bed and looked down at Eddie’s face. “You’re not damaged. Okay? You’ve been hurt, but that doesn’t make you damaged. What Sonia did was terrible and is not your fault, so it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I don’t have to tip toe around you, I never have and that’s why I love you so much. You make it easy for a dumbass like me to just be himself. I could never be bored of you.”

“Yeah you say that now but what if—what if I can’t get over this?”

“Then we will figure that out together. We’ll take it slow, okay? If you want me to try again, I will when you’re ready. If you never want me down there again then we’ll have fun in all the ways we have before.” Eddie reached up to grab Richie’s shoulders and pulled him back down to the bed; he kissed him softly before curling up against him.

“Thanks, Richie,” Eddie sniffled. Richie wiped away his boyfriend’s tears, stroking his cheek gently. “I still feel kinda shitty.”

“Then let yourself feel shitty. Be upset; just know that I got you spaghetti. Always.”

“It just sucks…I was kinda hoping that- never mind.”

“C’mon, Eddie. Tell me,” Richie asked. He pressed his forehead tenderly against Eddie’s, the light outside fading quickly.

“I’m just really disappointed because…well I was kind of hoping we could have sex soon. I really want to have sex with you, Rich.” Richie’s face turned beet red, and his mouth instantly felt dry. “I mean, unless you don’t want that,” Eddie added quickly.

“No, I do! Fuck, that’s…yes. I want to.”

“Articulate as ever,” Eddie joked, finally cracking a small smile. Richie hugged him tightly, intertwining his legs with Eddie’s.

“I love you so much, Eds.”

“I love you too,” Eddie whispered back. The night bathed them in darkness, and Richie could see the reflection of his mother’s headlights against the window.

“Hey, Eds? I know we need to take things slow on your end. And I’m willing to do whatever it is to make you feel safe and help you heal.”

“I know, Tozier.”

“But if you still wanted to have sex…you could always fuck me.”

“Oh?” Eddie asked, his face growing warm.

“What I mean is…I want you to fuck me. If you’re ready. And then when we’ve worked up to it and you’re ready…I can return the favor.”

“Can we talk about this more tomorrow? I’m kinda tired, Rich.”

“Shit, of course. Sorry; my horny mind being stupid and shit.”

“But Rich?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t worry. I definitely want to fuck you.” Richie felt chills run through his body, the air in his lungs seemingly vanished. His mouth twitched up into a goofy grin as he held Eddie close.

“I love you so much, Kaspbrak.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for keeping up with the story; I hope you all are still enjoying it as much as I love writing it :)


	21. Conversing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie shares some exciting news with Richie...and Richie's mother has an interesting conversation with him.

“Hey Rich?” Eddie asked from the passenger seat. Richie was driving him home from a hang out at Bill’s place. It had been about a week since the incident in the shower, and they hadn’t really been physical since. They held hands in the car and gave small kisses around friends or behind corners, but nothing like before. Richie didn’t want to push the issue, but he also missed fooling around with his boyfriend.

“Yes, Eddie my love?” Richie responded, not taking his eyes off the road.

“Thanks for being so patient…I know that’s not always easy for you.”

“Eds, give me a little credit. I waited years for you; you think a few days are gonna break me?”

“As I was saying, Trashmouth, it means a lot to me. And I think I’m ready to talk more about, you know.” Richie’s stomach leapt up into his throat, and he could feel a distinct blush creeping up his throat. His hands began to tremble and he considered pulling the car over.

“Oh yeah, you know I’m always ready to talk about that,” he responded with false confidence.

“Really?” Eddie scoffed. “Because I’d say you look scared shitless right now, Tozier.”

“Shut up, Kaspbrak. It just took me by surprise is all.” Eddie laughed at him and rested his hand on Richie’s upper thigh.

“I’m just saying, I don’t think I’m ready to continue with the fingering thing.” Eddie had secretly tried it on himself two days ago and immediately needed to stop and reach for his inhaler. He considered that maybe he needed to see a therapist, but that wasn’t the kind of medical health his mother seemed keen to pay for. She never encouraged Eddie to get counseling after his father died, and it was clear she had never talked to a professional in her life.

“And that’s fine with me. I’m content to give you blow jobs for the rest of time,” Richie joked. He poked his tongue against the inside of his cheek, mimicking a rather graphic scenario.

“You’re disgusting.”

“You chose this Eds. You knew what you were getting in to.” Eddie gripped Richie’s thigh and released an aggravated huff.

“Rich, I’m trying to tell you that I’m ready to have sex with you. Like in the near future. Maybe this weekend if you’re up for it.”Richie’s mouth fell open and he accidently ran a stop sign, earning an aggravated honk from a soccer mom.

“Like, _this_ weekend? Like, in two days?” Richie was incredulous.

“Well yeah, I said soon, Rich.”

“I thought you meant like in a month or so. A relative ‘soon.’”

“We don’t have to if it’s too fast, Richie. We have all the time in-”

“Oh hell no, Kaspbrak. No take backs.” Richie pulled into Eddie’s driveway, his entire body humming with excitement. He parked and took Eddie’s hands in his. “I’m ready, Eds. I want this so bad.” Eddie smiled at him and reached out to push a lock of raven hair away from Richie’s eyes. He leaned over to kiss him, firm and heated. Richie moaned softly, reveling in the affection. Eddie slipped his tongue through his open lips and tasted him eagerly.

“I love you so much,” Eddie whispered against Richie’s mouth. He tangled his hand into the back of Richie’s hair and pulled gently, enjoying the softness through his fingers.

“And you’re absolutely sure about this?” Richie asked, looking deep into Eddie’s eyes. His boyfriend smiled back, running his thumb along Richie’s bottom lip.

“I’ve never been more certain of anything. You make me feel brave, Richie. I want to do this with you.” Richie leaned in and kissed Eddie, sucking softly on the boy’s bottom lip.

“Okay, okay. Get inside before Sonia comes out to yell at me for polluting her air and putting your precious lungs at risk.”

Richie couldn’t stop smiling his entire drive home. Even as he walked through the front door he was in such a state of joy he didn’t notice his mother eyeing him from the kitchen table.

“Welcome home, Richard,” she called from her seat. This pulled him out of his rosy fog.

“Hi, mom. Just heading up to my room.” He tried to cut the conversation short, even getting a foot on the first step before she beckoned him into the kitchen with a small hand motion. He sighed loudly and leaned against the entryway to the room.

“I thought you were done hanging out with your friends at seven?” she asked.

“Yeah, I was. But then I drove Eddie home.” Why did she care? She never cared when he was home as long as it was before curfew.

“Oh I see…you two have been spending a lot of time together, huh?” It wasn’t quite an accusation, but it seemed odd that she would bring it up.

“Well, yeah. We’re kinda best friends, been that way since we were like eight. Excellent observation mother.”

“You know Richard, sarcasm does not replace wit,” she muttered caustically.

“We done here?” he asked.

“What does Sonia think about this?” Richie rolled his eyes.

“What does Mrs. Kaspbrak think about what?”

“Well Eddie’s been spending a lot of nights over here,” she began. Richie bit the inside of his cheek. _Where the hell is she going with this?_ “And I know she tends to be overly protective of him.”

“I mean, I guess. But it’s not like he’s over here every day or anything. Is there a point to this?”

“I’m just trying to make conversation, Richard.” She picked up her cup of tea and took a sip, but Richie could see her fingers trembling around the handle. He inherited his shaky hands from her, a clear tell when they were nervous.

“Well, this was absolutely riveting but I fear I must depart,” Richie closed with a posh British accent. He turned on his heel to leave and climbed the stairs, but as he got half way up, he heard his mother call out a final time.

“The other day I found a pair of underwear on the floor in the hall. And water all over the bathroom floor.” Richie froze, a lump forming in his throat. He had been so frazzled by Eddie’s episode in the shower, had he not noticed a stray piece of clothing? He could have sworn he’d cleaned everything up. “Next time you have a friend over… please be careful about picking up after yourselves.” Her tone was nearly pleading, and a tense silence hung in the air as he continued up to his bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for keeping up with the story. I've grown rather attached to it.


	22. Don't Ask Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie is dreaming again, and Richie realizes his mother knows more than she lets on.

_“Hey, buddy. Let’s go.” The voice was familiar. It was calling to him, urging him to open his eyes._

_“Honey, he’s gone.” A woman’s voice, mature and concerned._

_“He’s gone.” Who’s gone?_

_“We gotta go.” Go? Where are you going?_

_“We gotta go. Now. We have to leave.” No! Don’t leave. Please don’t leave!_

_Eddie’s eyes opened, but everything was cold and wet. Black stone. Green lights. He felt cold. He was so cold, and his face hurt. His cheek throbbed, pulsating tempestuously as the taste of blood filled his mouth. He was drowning in it; he could feel it hot and thick pouring into his lungs. His chest ached and he felt weak, his body heavy and tired. No one was around; he was alone. Where had the voices gone? They were right here!_

_“Look at that, Eddiekinz,” came a demonically chipper voice. “They all left you. You’re alone with me now, and aren’t we going to have a grand old time?” Eddie fought to speak, tried to open his mouth; there was too much blood. It just trickled out down his chin. He wanted to scream, to fight, but he was paralyzed. Helpless against the clown that was now staring him in the face, Its smile wide and sinister. “He forgot about you Eddie. He’s always going to leave you; because you’re a pathetic, weak, little mama’s boy. But that’s okay, Eddie! I still think you’re delicious!” The clown opened up its mouth wide, unhinging its jaw like a snake about to devour an egg. Its teeth sharp and jagged, with rows and rows of razor blades extending down Its throat._

“Fucking hell!” Eddie screeched, bolting upright in bed. He was in his room, the sun just beginning to set beyond his pale blue window pane. Eddie pressed his palms together and pushed hard, attempting to release some of the tension as he took deep breaths. It was just a dream, he was okay. Probably just induced by the stress of his swim meet coming up and having sex with Richie. Eddie’s eyes widened and he snapped his head to look at the alarm clock. 6:45. _Oh shit!_ He was supposed to be at Richie’s by 6:30 to spend the night. Eddie rolled gracelessly out of bed, cursing himself for taking that nap. He threw some clothes into his book bag, not having enough time to fold them neatly the way he liked.

Richie sat on the stairs inside his home, looking out the small windows of the front door for any sign of Eddie. He shook his leg, nervousness bubbling up from his toes into his throat. _Eddie’s never late._ Richie tried to release a deep breath but it came out haggard and shaky. He had been anticipating this moment, and now he worried that it wouldn’t happen. _No, you’re wrong._ Eddie would be here. Richie had believed Eddie when he said he was sure about this; he trusted him.

“Richard, could you please move off the steps? I have laundry,” his mother huffed, pulling his attention away from the door. Richie silently stood and leaned against the railing to let his mother scoot by. He immediately returned to his seat, but she remained standing on the steps behind him.

“I can feel you staring at me, mom,” he muttered. He hadn’t spoken to her since their talk in the kitchen. He hadn’t really known what it meant; he was too afraid to ask questions.

“Waiting for Eddie?” she asked, her tone strained. Richie didn’t turn to look at her.

“Yeah, I guess. Just sitting here, really.” _Just keep walking. Please._

“Richard, I know you two are… _close._ But have you thought about hanging out with other people more? I don’t know, I’ve never seen you go on a date or anything, honey. What about spending more time with that Marsh girl?”

“I don’t know what you want mom. We hang out in a group of freaking seven all the time. And she’s interested in Ben…not that she’s really my type anyway.”

“And what exactly would that be?” she snapped. “You’re type, I mean?” He could feel her seething behind him, an edginess seemed to radiate from her body and sizzle against his back. Richie’s face was hot, and his heartbeat pounded throughout his entire body. _She knows. How the fuck could she know? Shit, how long has she known?_

“Don’t ask questions when you know you won’t like the answer, Maggie,” he responded, his voice barely audible. He could hear her sniffle behind him as she turned to continue her climb up the stairs. It was silent for a moment before she called over the banister.

“You’re father will be home soon. I suggest you behave conservatively, Richard.” Richie felt a chill descend his spine. Surely his father didn’t know? Memories of Christmas Eve drifted through his brain; the hateful things his father had said, the allusion to violence and harm. Small tears began to form behind his eyes. No, there’s no way his father knew. But why hadn’t his mother told Wentworth?

Richie’s eyes caught movement from beyond the glass, and he let out a loud sigh when he saw Eddie coming up the walkway. He should have been worried about his parents and his conversation with Maggie…but that could wait. As he saw Eddie climb the wooden steps to his door, his heartbeat rang strongly in his ears. Everything could wait, because the love of his life was standing just five feet away, and Richie could already feel the excitement in his veins.

He sprang up to open the door, a rush of cool air accompanied Eddie’s entrance. They looked around cautiously before sharing a brief kiss. The two stood motionless, gazing at each other. Richie’s eyes flitted back and forth behind his large glasses as he studied Eddie’s brown eyes, his button nose, his pouty bottom lip; as if seeing the teenager for the first time.

“What are you looking at, Tozier?” Eddie quipped, giving a playful shove to the taller boy.

“Just you’re virginity. Be a real shame if someone took it from ya,” he joked.

“Beep beep, Richie. For the love of god.” Eddie rolled his eyes and turned to head up the stairs. “Now come on, before I change my mind, dumbass.”

“You won’t change your mind. I can see your hard on from here, Kaspbrak.”

“Shut it, Trashmouth.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are almost there! I think you'll love the next chapter ;)


	23. Amidst the Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment you've all been waiting for!
> 
> Enjoy it lovelies, because things will be getting serious again soon.

Richie closed the door behind him and triple checked the lock as they entered into his bedroom. He turned to look at Eddie who was standing in the middle of the room, eyes wide and incredulous. Richie’s room was actually spotless. No clothes on the floor, no clutter on the bedside tables; the bed was even made.

“Did you actually clean your room?” Eddie asked, a wide grin breaking across his face, resulting in deep dimples that made Richie nearly swoon.

“Don’t get used to it, Eds. It’s only for special occasions,” he responded, running a hand nervously through his hair. Honestly, he wanted to remember the moment as perfectly as possible. With the swim team hounding Eddie and his parents being assholes, making his room clean seemed to be one of the only things he could control.

“Well,” Eddie began, taking a step towards Richie, “I think it looks great.” He hooked his fingers into the belt loops of Richie’s jeans and pulled the taller teen closer.

“I think you look great.” Richie pressed his crotch up against Eddie’s, pushing their torsos flush together. He captured Eddie’s face between his large hands and pulled him close till their noses touched. “You’re so god damn sexy,” Richie breathed. He pressed his lips against Eddie’s, the shorter boy’s breath hitching in response.

“I want you so bad, Tozier,” Eddie moaned between parted lips. He grabbed on to Richie’s bottom lip, sucking languidly till it became red and puffy. Richie’s eyes were large and glassy, his lips full and a pink blush dusting over his pale cheeks. Eddie thought he almost looked pretty. The shorter teen’s hands wandered down Richie’s hips and across the crotch of his jeans. Eddie palmed at the erection between Richie’s thighs, reveling in the thickness he felt behind the denim. “You want me too, don’t you?” Eddie teased, licking up Richie’s throat. Richie leaned his head back and attempted to stifle a moan.

“Yeah, no shit Kaspbrak. I’ve been hard as hell since you got here.”

“Show me,” Eddie urged, gently tugging at Richie’s belt.

“Oh, you want a little peep show is that it?”

“It’s not that little. I already know that,” Eddie retorted, licking his lips greedily. Richie blushed deeply, a pleased smile twitching to life.

“Fine, only for you spaghetti.” Richie pulled his shirt up over his head and waved it like a lasso before throwing it across the room. Eddie wanted to laugh at the display, but he couldn’t help but stare at Richie’s chest, feathered with dark hair that danced down to his stomach. Even when he wasn’t being serious, he was still so sexy. Richie continued, unbuckling his belt and sliding it slowly through the loops. He snapped the belt in his hand; the pop was loud and caused Eddie to flinch and grow pink around his ears.

Richie shimmied out of his jeans, kicking them off his ankles. His erection was evident against his pale blue boxers, and Eddie couldn’t keep his eyes away. Richie grabbed his clothed member and walked close to Eddie, touching their noses together.

“You know my eyes are up here, Eds.” Eddie moaned softly and tried to kiss Richie, but the taller teen moved swiftly away, wagging a finger. “Not yet, I’m not done seducing you.” Eddie groaned but decided to behave for now. Richie smirked and dropped down his boxers, releasing his fully hard cock. Eddie bit his bottom lip, stifling a whine.

“Jesus, Tozier.” Richie walked slowly to Eddie and circled around back. He snaked his arms around Eddie’s torso to grab at his clothed erection and pressed his lips to the back of his neck.

“You wanna fuck me?” Richie whispered, nuzzling into the back of Eddie’s hair.

“Hell yes,” Eddie breathed, grinding himself into Richie’s hand. Richie pulled up Eddie’s shirt, throwing it into the growing pile of clothing on the floor. He studied Eddie’s back, the way the lean muscles stretched under smooth skin. He grabbed Eddie by the hips and spun him around before getting down on his knees. Richie looked up at Eddie’s face, asking for permission. Eddie nodded excitedly, stroking Richie’s cheek with his thumb. The taller teen smiled and pulled down the other’s jeans and underwear in one motion. He helped Eddie out of his clothes and lightly kissed right above his knee. 

“I love your body,” Richie murmured, kissing up Eddie’s legs. He loved Eddie’s smooth legs, and rather enjoyed that he had to shave them for swimming. He began to suck his inner thighs, giving small bites and nips.

“Mmm, fuck. Wait, careful. I have a meet on Sunday, Rich.” Richie rolled his eyes but switched to soft kisses.

“When your season is over, I’m gonna cover you in so many god damned hickies,” Richie growled.

“Is that a threat or a promise?” Eddie asked, leaning his head back as Richie gripped his cock gently.

“It’s just a fact, Eds.” Richie gave a long slow lick to the underside of Eddie’s shaft, causing a chill to run through the shorter teen’s body. Richie gently massaged Eddie’s balls as he swirled his tongue around the head. He could already taste that Eddie was leaking pre cum and he lapped it up eagerly. “Hey, could we try something?” Eddie furrowed his brows, and Richie could see his body go rigid. “Don’t worry, it’s more something you’d do to me…I saw it in a film.” Eddie let out a relieved sigh before laughing.

“Dirty movies are not films, idiot.”

“Show some respect, Eds. Those are the hardest working actors in the business.” Richie stood and got on his bed. He rolled onto his back and hung his head off the foot of the matress. Eddie had to compose himself; Richie looked so ready and wanton. His long limbs stretched across the bed, his thick cock standing straight at attention as his hair hung softly from his head. His glasses were askew from being inverted.

Eddie walked over and removed Richie’s glasses and gently placed them on his desk. He positioned himself near Richie’s face. Richie held onto the back of Eddie’s thighs and slowly pushed the shorter teen into his mouth, twirling his tongue in order to get the entire shaft slick and wet. Eddie shuddered, enjoying the sensation. He slowly began to thrust his hips, sliding between Richie’s parted lips.

“Ohhh, fuck. That feels really fucking good.” Richie began to hollow out his cheeks sucking eagerly on Eddie’s lengthy member. Eddie thrust with more force this time and slipped down Richie’s throat, and the taller teen swallowed him to the base of his cock. “Mmm, my god!” he cried out. Richie gagged, but kept his composure. He enjoyed being filled, feeling so filthy and adult. Eddie jerked his hips and thrust again, going down Richie’s throat. Richie dug his nails into the back of Eddie’s legs for support as he tried to control his gag reflex. “I like hearing you,” Eddie moaned. Richie continued to suck diligently and let go of one of Eddie’s legs to stroke his own cock lazily. Eddie ran his hands through his hair, surrendering to the pleasure that Richie was giving him. He could feel himself begin to build, the warmth in his abdomen coming to a boil. He withdrew quickly and took a few steps back, earning a surprised gag from the teen on the bed.

“Where’s the fire Kaspbrak? Everything okay?” Richie’s tone was concerned and he rolled onto his stomach to face Eddie, but could only squint without his glasses.

“I’m fucking great Rich,” Eddie breathed heavily. “I didn’t want to cum too early.” Richie heaved a sigh of relief.

“Well, then that’s okay,” he chuckled. Richie turned and crawled to the top of the bed, situating his head against the pillows. “So how bout you get over here handsome?” Eddie grinned and leapt into the bed, capturing Richie in a sensuous kiss. Richie pulled him down flush with his own body, running his nails up Eddie’s back. Eddie thrust his fingers into Richie’s thick hair and invaded his mouth, tasting all that he could. Their breathing became labored and heavy, erect cocks rubbing together with frustrating friction. Eddie broke the kiss and they stared at each other for a few moments, eyes dilated and glassy with a mix of mature lust and innocent excitement.

“Are you ready?” Eddie asked. Richie’s mouth felt dry and refused to perform words, so he just nodded. Eddie rolled off of him and ran to the wall to turn off the lights. Richie reached over and turned on the dim lamp on his bedside table; the closest thing they had to mood lighting. Eddie searched through his bag and eventually pulled out a condom and a small tube of lotion.

“What is that?” Richie asked, squinting fruitlessly to try and see. Eddie got onto the bed and knelt between Richie’s legs, setting the condom to the side.

“It’s lotion. It’s for really sensitive skin, so I figured it’d work for…you know.”

“Cool, glad I’ll have a nice moisturized asshole,” Richie joked, his voice weaker. He was nervous, and the reality of what was about to happen was beginning to sink in. Not that he didn’t want it; he had been fantasizing about having sex with Eddie for a long time. But what if he had built it up to much? Or worse what if Eddie didn’t enjoy it?

“You okay?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just a little nervous I guess.”

“Me too,” Eddie admitted. He squeezed the lotion onto his fingers and began to massage Richie’s entrance, circling the lotion around. He applied more to his index finger and slowly pushed in to Richie’s hole. He was tight, but his body eventually relaxed and allowed Eddie to go in passed his knuckle. Richie moaned softly, pulses of energy radiating through his body. Eddie moved his finger slowly inside, stretching Richie patiently. He curled his finger and Richie arched his back, emitting a low whine.

“Damn, you got me melting with just a finger. Can’t imagine how all of that cock is gonna feel.”

“I promise, I’m gonna make you feel so good,” Eddie whispered. He applied a little more lotion to his middle finger and inserted both this time, watching them disappear inside Richie. The taller teen gripped at the comforter and closed his eyes as he reveled in Eddie’s movements. Eddie scissored his fingers inside him, attempting to stretch him as far as he could. He added a third finger, and Richie began leaking pre cum from his cock. “Is this okay?” Eddie asked.

“Fuck yes, that’s amazing.” Eddie curled his fingers again, this rime brushing up against the prostate which had Richie tossing his head against the pillows. His hair became tousled and messy, but Eddie thought he looked breathtaking.

“Are you ready? I think I’ve stretched you enough?” Richie licked his lips and nodded rigidly. _Fuck, fuck, fuck. It’s happening!_ “Do you want to do the honors?” Eddie asked, handing the condom to Richie. The taller teen took it, but fumbled helplessly with the wrapper. His hands were trembling and he couldn’t get a good grip.

“Fuck, sorry. I’m trying,” he muttered. His chest felt tight and he couldn’t make his fingers cooperate. Eddie gently took the condom back and grabbed one of Richie’s shaky hands.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m right here, Rich.”

“I know,” Richie breathed. Eddie took his hand and delicately kissed his palm before kissing each fingertip.

“I love you, so much it scares me sometimes. I know we can figure this out together. You’re safe with me, and I’d trust you with my life.”

“I love you, Eds.” Richie took a few deep breaths and eventually gave Eddie a reassuring nod. Eddie rolled the condom on and lined himself up with Richie’s hole. He slowly lifted Richie’s legs up so they were up near his chest and gently hooked his elbows under them. Eddie pushed in, and he felt a hot tingle spread up his torso and down his back. Richie was definitely tight, and the pressure on Eddie’s cock was intoxicating. He continued slowly, watching Richie’s face twitch as he closed his eyes, willing his body to relax. Eddie moaned softly when he was fully in, his abdomen flush with Richie’s ass. “Holy shit; we’re doing it,” Eddie whispered. Richie’s eyes opened, and Eddie could see a sparkle in them.

“Well it’s official. We can never go back to being just friends now,” Richie murmured. Maybe it was the randomness of Richie’s comment, or the amount of nerves that needed to be released, but Eddie snorted loudly at this.

“Shut up, Trashmouth,” his laughter turning into soft giggles.

“I mean it. You’ve officially ravished me, now you have to be with me forever to preserve my honor.”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Eddie chuckled. He slowly drew his hips back before pushing in again, careful not to cause Richie any discomfort. “How’s that feel?”

“Good, it’s different, but it’s also making my cock super hard.” Eddie slowly rocked his hips, gently grinding as he stretched his boyfriend. “Is it good for you?”

“It feels fucking amazing.” Eddie’s entire body felt electric, each cell sensitive and needy. He released a pleasured moan which was a little louder than intended. He continued, setting a more moderate rhythm. He could feel Richie’s body release more and more tension with every thrust until finally he was able to slide in and out without a worrying resistance.

“Oh shit, it feels really good now,” Richie murmured. “Fuck yes, keep going.” Eddie nodded, locking eyes with Richie as he continued his thrusts. Both of them were red faced, small beads of sweat dripping from their brows. “Kiss me.” Eddie complied and leaned down to capture Richie’s lips, exchanging breaths as they crafted their mouths perfectly together.

“I wanna try another position,” Eddie mentioned as he kissed down Richie’s neck to his collar bone. 

“Okay. I trust you.” Eddie pulled out of Richie, earning a slight wince from the taller teen. He knelt on the bed, sitting back on his heels. He guided Richie by the wrist and pulled him up.

“Turn around like that.. yeah. I want to be able to hold you,” Eddie explained. Richie turned his back to him and slowly sank down onto Eddie’s cock, his back flush with Eddie’s chest.

“Mmm, fuck that’s good,” Richie moaned. Eddie wrapped one hand around Richie’s body to hold him steady and the other to stroke his cock.

“You feel so fucking good, Rich,” Eddie moaned, kissing Richie’s shoulder blades and up the back of his neck. Richie slowly moved himself up and down on Eddie, the shorter teen’s cock pushing deeper. Richie moved more vigorously and yelped pleasurably when Eddie nailed his prostate. Eddie bit at the nape of Richie’s neck, trying desperately not to scream out his name. _One day. One day we can be as loud as we want._ He pumped Richie, eager to make his boyfriend feel just as good as he did.

The two were building, each muscle tightening. Something deep inside began to lift higher and higher, vibrating excitedly as it teetered on the edge. Eddie’s hips bucked erratically and Richie felt his muscles undergo small spasms.

“Cum with me, I’m so close,” Eddie moaned, holding on tight to Richie’s body.

“I am too. Say my name, Eds.”

“Richie, I want you to cum.” The taller teen spiraled, releasing all over Eddie’s hand as he reveled in pleasure. Eddie followed quickly after, orgasming harder than he ever had. He felt light headed , small whines escaping his mouth as he attempted to recover. They sat motionless for a few moments, enjoying the feel of the other’s body and the flow of breath into the dim room. Richie moved first, slowly lifting himself off of Eddie.

“Shit, Kaspbrak. I think I might have trouble walking tomorrow.” With wobbly legs Richie reached under his bed for a towel and helped Eddie clean off his hand. They disposed of the condom in his trashcan, and Richie pushed some stray papers in to cover it up, just in case.

The two boys crawled under the blankets, and Eddie nestled under Richie’s chin, enjoying the feel of his warm skin. Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie and kissed the top of his head, breathing in the scent of his conditioner.

“We just made love,” Eddie stated after a long silence. Richie wanted to make fun of his word choice, call him corny or lame, but he couldn’t. Sex was too clinical. And “fucking” sounded lewd and casual. They had made love…amidst all the hate that consumed the town, they had managed to make love in spite of it all.

“Yeah,” Richie agreed. “You liked it?”

“It was perfect. I came so hard I think I almost blacked out,” Eddie chuckled. “How about for you?”

“It was everything I could have hoped for, Eds.” Richie reached over and turned off the lamp, dousing the light in a peaceful darkness. Eddie sighed softly and closed his eyes. Maybe he’d finally get a good night of sleep. The nightmares had been keeping him awake, but deep down he knew they wouldn’t come tonight. Richie would keep them away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it! Thanks for everyone who has been reading up to this point. I would say the story is now about 2/3 through, with A LOT more to come. I really appreciate all the support and interest in this work; I have loved writing it.  
> If anyone is an artist, I'd love to see your Reddie fan art (especially if it's inspired by events in the fic). I have no artistic ability so I am always stunned by the talents of people who can draw.  
> Love you all!


	24. Two Steps Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the day of a big meet, the Loser's Club go to support Eddie. However, Richie gets caught by members of the swim team.
> 
> tw: homophobic language, violence
> 
> I'm sorry, ya'll. Let the angst begin.

“Jesus, Tozier, slow down,” Stanley chastised from the back seat. “I’d like to make it to the swim meet in one piece.”

“Stop being a back seat driver, Uris! I know what I’m doing. Left or right, Bill?” Richie responded, turning up the music louder to drown out the others. Bill chuckled from the passenger seat and looked at the directions.

“You’re going to make a left at the light, and then drive for eight miles,” Bill informed, attempting to appear calm as Richie made a sweeping turn that sent all of the passengers sliding.

“I’m with Stanley, Rich. I’m starting to feel nauseous,” Mike added from the back seat.

“Can’t hear you, music too loud!” Richie yelled, smirking to himself. He looked into the rearview mirror to see Eddie rolling his eyes from the back of his car. Eddie, Beverly, and Ben had all piled into the bed of the car where there were no seatbelts. They giggled together as they ducked every time a police car passed, not wanting to get Richie a ticket he definitely couldn’t afford.

“So, what was it like?” Beverly whispered to Eddie, her cheeks beginning to match her hair. Ben pretended not to hear their conversation.

“Oh, well,” Eddie began, a blush creeping up his neck. Eddie looked back to Richie who was now arguing with Bill about whether his left hand turn had been legal. “It was kinda scary at first, we were both really nervous. But then when we started, it just all kinda fell into place, you know?”

“Aww that’s so sweet…was it,” Beverly took a moment, trying to conceal a giggle. “Was it good?” Eddie could see Ben focusing intently out the window, trying not to eavesdrop. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want,” she added, but her eyes were pleading.

“Bev…it was amazing,” Eddie replied with his own giggle, his entire face beet red. Beverly gave a delighted squeal and hugged Eddie tightly.

“Hey! No PDA in the back of my car!” Richie yelled back, his eyes on the rearview mirror.

“Shouldn’t you be looking at the road, Trashmouth?” Beverly retorted, playfully flipping Richie the bird.

“You’re lucky Eddie has a meet, otherwise I’d crash this car in a jealous rage,” Richie teased, imitating an old southern belle. They pulled up to the aquatic center. Though it was only about two towns over, the Loser’s had never seen it before. The facility was two times bigger than anything they had in Derry, and it seemed to shine new in the winter sunlight.

“Holy shit,” Mike murmured. “Are you nervous Eddie?” Eddie just shrugged, the building may be huge, but each pool was always the same size. There were far more intimidating things today than a building. Richie pulled into a nearby parking spot and unlocked the doors for his friends. Everyone filed out of the car, crawling over seats and each other into the crisp afternoon. Eddie climbed over into the passenger seat where Bill had just been.

“Are you coming Eddie? You don’t want to be late,” Stanley urged.

“Just a minute, you guys go ahead,” Eddie responded. Stanley rolled his eyes, but Bill just chuckled. He led the club towards the entrance, giving Richie and Eddie some privacy.

“Hey,” Richie greeted, a mischievous smile on his lips.

“Don’t give me that look; we are not having a quickie in the car.”

“You never let me have any fun,” Richie pouted. Eddie leaned over and gave him a swift kiss, eliminating the taller teen’s frown for now.

“I love you, Richie.”

“I love you too, Eds. You ready for this?” Richie’s expression was earnest.

“Not really looking forward to spending all day with the team,” Eddie replied honestly. “I know they won’t do anything, but it’s still uncomfortable.”

“Season’s almost over, Eds. Just a little bit longer and they’ll forget you even exist. And then you can spend all that practice time doing naughty things with me.” Eddie rolled his eyes and gave Richie a small shove.

“You and your one track mind.” Eddie ran his hands through Richie’s hair, tugging back on the locks. Hepushed away the collar of Richie’s jacket and sucked the crook of his neck.

“Mmm, shit.” Richie clung onto Eddie as his boyfriend bit and sucked eagerly. Tingling sensations coursed through his body, and he could feel his cock begin to twitch. “Ah, Eds. And you say I’m the horny one.” Eddie removed his lips and surveyed his work with a devious smirk.

“Just to hold you over. You behave today, and maybe I’ll suck somewhere else.”

“You’re such a tease, spaghetti. But I will be honorable and patiently await your presence in my pants.” Eddie laughed and covered up Richie’s new hickey with his coat.

“Alright, let’s go.”

“You go on ahead, I need a minute to- uh- compose myself.” Richie pointed to the bulge that had developed in his jeans. “I’ll be in soon. Good luck, Eds.”

“Thanks, Richie. See you later.” Eddie exited the car and ran across the parking lot so he wouldn’t be late. Richie watched him fondly as he disappeared through the doors. He shut off the car and leaned his head back against the seat, closing his eyes for a moment. Is this what it felt like to be truly happy with someone?

There was a knock at his window that sent his heart leaping into his throat. Richie opened his eyes to two tall guys staring at him. In the blink of an eye they flung open his door and dragged him out of the driver’s seat, pinning him up against the side of his car.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Richie asked bitterly. He had been startled, and his hands were shaking, but he wasn’t going to let them know he was scared.

“Saw you sucking face with that faggot,” one of the boys hissed. Richie recognized him instantly as Anthony from Eddie’s swim team. His eyes bounced to the other teen, who he recognized as Bradley. _Oh fuck._ These were two of the assholes that had harassed Eddie a few weeks ago. But Jonathan, the swim captain, was nowhere to be seen.

“Oh sick, you were watching? Perverts,” Richie responded. Anthony punched him in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. Richie gasped loudly, attempting to ignore the painful pulses in his stomach. “Where’s Jonathan? Isn’t he the leader of you idiots?”

“Swim team captain can’t be late. But don’t worry, this one’s from him,” Bradley responded, punching Richie in the jaw. A hot sting traveled across his cheek and his head instantly ached. Richie spit in Anthony’s face, blood and saliva dripping down the bully’s chin. Anthony grabbed Richie by the shirt and slammed him up against the metal.

“You’re so fucking dead. If I get AIDS from that, I’m gonna fucking kill you.”

“You don’t scare me, fucking asshole” Richie snarled. His entire body had begun to ache, the coppery taste of blood spread out across his taste buds. But he wasn’t backing down. Bradley grabbed him by the back of the neck and hurled him to the ground, Richie’s hands scraping across frozen asphalt.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure we can make your little boyfriend scream.” Anthony kicked him hard in the torso, sending shockwaves through Richie’s body.

“Y- you won’t touch him. You’re too scared of what your coach will do.”

“Use your brain, bitch,” Bradley retorted. “Season’s almost over. We see you cocksuckers together again? That little shit is dead meat.” Richie’s eyes widened, why the hell hadn’t he considered that? Once the coach had all his awards he wouldn’t give two shits if his characters beat up some gay kid.

“Keep your fucking hands off of him.” Richie tried to lift himself off the ground, but Anthony kicked him in the face, shattering his glasses.

“You really need to learn when to shut up,” Anthony spat. He kicked Richie repeatedly, until there was a sickening crack. Richie cried our sharply, and he struggled to breathe. “Hold him down,” Anthony commanded to Bradley. Bradley hit Richie’s head into the ground. Richie couldn’t concentrate; his entire body had become a pulsing heated blob of stings and aches. His vision was blurry and clouded with black spots; he couldn’t speak. A small sob escaped his mouth and the world faded for a few moments.

Had he passed out? He couldn’t feel the weight of Bradley holding him down or hear the snide comments from Anthony. He opened his eyes slowly, a blurry pale figure leaning over him. His ears were ringing, but he thought it was speaking to him. Finally he was able to make out the words.

“Holy fuck, Richie! Can you hear me?” It was Stanley, his familiar curls and thin face coming into view.

“Stan the Man,” Richie whispered weakly, his jaw aching when he tried to smile.

“Shit, shit, shit. We gotta get you to the hospital!” Stanley was panicking. This was not what he had anticipated when he walked out to check on him. Richie had been gone for about fifteen minutes, and Stan was elected to go find him. He had walked outside only to find Richie splayed out on the ground next to his car, covered in blood with his shirt and jacket missing. Across Richie’s forehead and stomach was the word ‘faggot’ written over and over. Someone had even circled a dark hickey on Richie’s neck.

Stanley slowly lifted Richie up, wincing as the taller teen cried out in pain. He helped Richie into the back seat, laying him down on his back. Stanley hopped into the driver’s seat and zoomed out of the parking space across the lot at lightning speed.

“Slow down, gonna get us killed,” Richie joked. He chuckled for a moment before groaning in pain.

“Jesus, Rich, now is not the fucking time.” The nearest hospital was actually Derry Medical Center, and it served numerous surrounding towns. “Just shut up, okay?” Stanley could feel tears pricking behind his eyes, but he forced them to stay in. “It’s gonna be fine, we will get you help. Just rest.”

Richie tried to protest, but his body was too tired. Everything went dark again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for your continued support as I write this story.


	25. Morphine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie's parents visit him in the hospital while the rest of the Loser's Club tries to figure out what happened to him.
> 
> Angst...I'm sorry.
> 
> It will get happier eventually, I promise.

Eddie scanned the crowds, hoping to catch a glimpse of Richie before his swim. But as he lined up on the edge of the pool, he couldn’t seem to pick his boyfriend out of the mass of people in the stands. The smell of chlorine invaded his nose, the roar of activity submerging him in the moment. He needed to focus; Richie was definitely up there. Eddie closed his eyes, adjusting his swimming cap and goggles as he took concentrated breaths.

He could show them all. He wasn’t weak. He wasn’t sick. He wasn’t some fucking fairy that they could intimidate. He shook out his arms and legs, attempting to relax the muscles. He had worked hard to get here, and he was going to prove to everyone, the team, his mother…himself; he wasn’t just some loser. Eddie positioned himself on the block. _You’re brave. You’re strong. You can do this._ The bell rang out and he dove in head first.

Richie’s eyes twitched open, and he looked over to see Stanley supporting him, nearly dragging him up to the emergency room doors. Each step brought tears to Richie’s eyes, his right side aching horribly. Each breath he took was like a dagger twisting inside his organs.

“Am I dying?” he murmured.

“No. I’ll be damned if you’re murdered and it wasn’t me that got to do it,” Stanley joked half heartedly.

“I love you, man.”

“I know, I know. Now less talking more walking.” They stumbled through the doors, startling a young nurse. She called over a doctor and another nurse to help lift Richie on to a gurney. The teen winced and cried out, grabbing tightly to Stanley’s hand.

“What happened?” the doctor asked, furrowing gray eyebrows. He was studying the sharpie marks.

“My friend was assaulted in the parking lot,” Stanley explained, keeping Richie’s hand in his as they raced through the halls of the hospital. Richie tried to focus on the doctor, but everything was hazy and painful. Stanley squeezed his hand, as if giving him permission to block out the world. Richie smiled, Stanley would take care of it.

Eddie grinned to himself as he entered into the locker rooms, an undeniable spring in his step. He had the best swim of his life. The image replayed in his mind; his coach, with a tobacco stained grin breaking from a thick beard, coming over and telling him he got third. For maybe the first time in his life, Eddie felt truly proud of himself. He dried off quickly, unwilling to go near the showers; he’d clean off at home as usual. He opened up his locker and bit his lip as he pulled a shirt from his pile of clothes.

It had blood stains all over it and small rips through the cotton. As he inspected it, he realized it was a Damn Yankees t-shirt like the one Richie owned. Like the one he had been wearing earlier that day. Eddie looked around the locker room to see Anthony grinning wickedly at him. The pit of his stomach fell into his feet, and Eddie felt as though he might pass out. He leaned his head against the cool metal of the locker, muttering to himself.

“Fuck, fuck FUCK!” he slammed the locker with his fist, taking in a deep breath. He threw on his clothes and raced out the door for the lobby. His chest ached, all of his muscles still throbbing from his swim. But he didn’t stop running until he crashed into Ben, nearly toppling him over.

“Are you okay, Eddie?” Ben asked with concern.

“Where’s Richie?” Eddie responded. His eyes were frantic and he gripped onto Ben’s forearms to keep himself standing.

“We don’t know,” Beverly admitted. “Stan’s missing too.” Eddie inhaled sharply and handed the mangled t-shirt over to Bill.

“I think something happened to him,” Eddie whispered, not wanting to give too much volume to his fears.

“Th-this is b-b-bad,” Bill agreed. He beckoned the losers out the door to the parking lot where Richie’s car had vanished from its spot. 

“We sent Stan to go check on him before the meet; I guess that explains why he didn’t come back,” Mike realized. He looked over to Eddie whose face was lost and scared; he looked like he was thirteen again.

“Okay, guys,” Bill commanded, gaining control over his stutter. “Put your money together. We need to call a cab.”

“Where are we going?” Ben asked, opening his wallet.

“The hospital,” Eddie answered with certainty. He knew that’s where Stanley would have taken him. It was the only reason he would have left so quickly without letting any of them know.

Richie groaned weakly as he struggled to see. His right eye refused to open as it pulsed hotly. He could feel the scratching of bandages across his chest, jaw, and hands. The sound of footsteps echoed across the tiles and seemed to reverberate in his skull. He felt like he was lucid dreaming, an odd calm washing over him in spite of the pain and confusion.

“Hello, Mr. Tozier,” greeted a deep voice. He looked up, squinting to make out the shape of what he believed to be a doctor. His didn’t have his glasses, so everything was a bit of a blur.

“What’s up, Doc?” he said in a terrible Bugs Bunny impression. There seemed to be a delay between his brain and his mouth. “What’s the damage?”

“Well, fortunately, no permanent damage. And nothing that will keep you here for more than a 24 hour observation period.”

“But there is damage,” he chuckled. He felt light and airy, his good eye drifting down to the tubes coming out of his arm. _So that explains it. Always heard morphine was a hell of a good time._

“Yes, Mr. Tozier. You have a black eye, fractured rib, dislocated jaw, moderate bruising along your torso, and a very minor concussion.”

“Shiiiiitt,” was all Richie could muster. That didn’t sound great.

“Anyway, the young man that brought you here said you were beaten up in a parking lot? Could you tell me what happened?”

“That’s pretty much it, Doc. Swim team jerk offs fucking knocked my lights out,” he slurred. Richie’s eyes caught a glimpse of Stanley poking his head around the door frame. He giggled to himself; _he looks like a little meerkat._

“Why did they attack you?”

“Hmm?”

“Well, Mr. Tozier, surely there was a reason for the attack?” Richie knew the doctor was referring to the indecent words written all over his body with sharpie. Though the strong smell of rubbing alcohol led Richie to believe some nurse had been kind enough to scrub them off.

“Oh, well they saw me making out with my boyfriend.” Why did he say that? He could have just said they were bullies. Or hell, they beat him up because his trash mouth got him in trouble. The truth just slipped out and erased all doubt in the doctor’s mind.

“I see…Tozier. You’re Wentworth’s son, aren’t you?” Richie nodded hesitantly. _Fucking shit._ “And is your… _boyfriend_ … in any trouble?” Before Richie could slip up any further Stanley entered the room, drawing the doctor’s attention.

“Doctor, I’m Richie’s friend. I was also there,” Stanley stated, his face stoic. “He told me everything on the way to the hospital, so if you have any more questions, I’d be happy to answer them. I think he’s feeling a little dazed.” The doctor studied Stanley for a moment, taken aback by the maturity of his voice and manor.

“I’m just trying to collect all the information necessary in case Mr. Tozier wishes to press charges,” he stated blandly. “We’ve already taken photo evidence.”

“And as I said, I can answer for him. To ensure he gives correct information.”

“That’ll be all for now,” the doctor responded with a painted smile. He left the room quickly and Stanley watched as he dialed the phone at the nurse’s station.

“Thanks, Stan the Man. Can’t think good right now,” Richie murmured. Stanley sighed and rubbed his temples.

“Rich, your mom’s here. I don’t think they’re going to let me back here now that you have family present.”

“No problem Stan. I can handle little miss Maggie.” Stanley gave an unconvincing chuckle but decided not to say anymore. He turned to leave, and even with blurry vision Richie could see the tension spread out across the teen’s back and shoulders. Richie groaned; dealing with his mother wouldn’t be pleasant, but what was the worst that could happen? It’s not like his father would have to find out. He could spin some story about how he fought them off even though the odds were against him. Tell him that he stood his ground or something. If he spun it in some masculine alpha male way, his dad may even be proud.

The sound of his mother clearing her throat pulled Richie from his musing. She hugged herself tightly as she teetered in the doorway, looking as if she’d rather stay in the hall.

“Damn it, Richard,” she breathed, finally taking a step into the hospital room.

“Gee, mom. I’m doing great, thanks for asking.” She just rolled her eyes and took a seat next to the bed. She took his hand and squeezed lightly, gently stroking with her thumb.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” she said softly. “I think every mother fears getting a call like that.”

“Like you care,” he muttered.

“Don’t be so cavalier okay? You’re my son, Richard, and I love you.” Richie sighed, too weak to argue.

“Yeah, I know. So, aren’t you going to ask what happened?”

“Eddie’s big swim meet was today wasn’t it?” Richie nodded in confusion. “Then I think I can guess. What’s important is what you told the doctor.”

“How long did you know? I mean, about me…about, you know?” Maggie shushed him and looked behind her, making sure a stray nurse hadn’t wandered in to check on him.

“I’m your mother,” she said in a hushed tone. “I had my suspicions since you were thirteen. Then as you got older it became more and more clear…especially when it came to Eddie.” The teenager’s name was barely audible on her lips. “Now what did you tell the doctor?” she asked earnestly.

“I…I fucked up,” Richie could feel tears swelling behind his shut eye. “I told him that some swim team guys saw me kissing a boy.” Maggie sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Richard, please tell me they don’t know who the boy was.” Richie sniffled and shrugged. Everything was running together now. He felt drowsy. “Richard Preston Tozier, you answer me. Did you tell them Eddie’s name?” Her voice was low and pointed, an urgency that Richie didn’t quite understand.

“I don’t think so,” Richie answered. He tried to think clearly about his chat with the doctor. “No, I didn’t. Stanley came in before he could ask any more questions.”

“Good…that’s good. Sonia knows every staff member at this hospital; if any of them find out it was Eddie,” Maggie paused when she saw the panic in Richie’s face. “Let’s just say there are a lot of loose lips in Derry eager to spread everyone’s business.”

“This is a mess.”

“It really is. I asked one thing of you, just behave conservatively,” she snapped. “And here we are with a huge hospital bill and me having to lie to your father.”

“Should I say I’m sorry?” he asked, only half apologetic. Maggie stood up stiffly.

“No, because I know you’re not. You need to grow up, Richard. This life you’re choosing for yourself…it’s only going to lead to pain and disappointment.” She left the room, leaving Richie laying still in the bed, a sinking feeling in his abdomen. He could make out the faint sound of his mother’s gasp from the hallway

“What are you doing here, sweetheart?” Her strained whisper was only audible due to the open door.

“Doctor Greene called me,” a louder voice responded. _Fuck me_. Richie could instantly recognize his father’s voice. “Which is odd considering my wife didn’t bother to tell me our son was in the hospital.”

“Wentworth, I was going to call you as soon as I knew he was okay.”

“Stop protecting him, Margaret! I saw the fucking pictures! Doctor Green called me at my office and told me everything over the god damned phone.” Richie’s chest constricted and his breathing became shallow. A sharp pain pierced his torso.

“Please calm down, you’re in a hospital for Christ’s sake,” Maggie hissed. Richie had never heard his parents fight before; they were usually care free and laughed together. There was an icy silence, the rush of blood roaring in Richie’s ears as he listened for his father’s response. The air left his lungs when Wentworth walked through door to stand imposingly at the foot of Richie’s bed. They stared at each other quietly, the man evaluating his teenage son like some alien he was seeing for the first time.

“Doctor Greene called me and told me everything you aid. He showed me the Polaroid they took before your treatment. So I’m going to ask you one thing, Richard… can you explain any of this to me?” Richie had never seen his father look like this. He was usually a jokester like Richie, with very rare flares of anger. But this felt calculated and detached. Maybe Richie could have lied. Maybe in his morphine induced haze he could have pieced some tall tale together…but it wouldn’t have mattered. His father would always be suspicious, his mother would always be on the brink of revealing the truth, and at the root of it all, Richie was exhausted.

“No,” Richie answered plainly. The room became a vacuum, every ounce of compassion and pride that his father once held for Richie seemed to dissipate into thin air.

“Who’s the other boy?”

“You said one question,” Richie replied. His body felt like he had been hit by a truck and he worried his morphine may be wearing off.

“Fine. Here’s what’s going to happen.” His father walked closer to the bed, gripping the foot rail. “Once you get out of the hospital, you can come home for a night and pack your stuff.”

“Wait, what? Where am I going?”

“Richard, I don’t really care. I’ll give you a hundred bucks and let you take your car. I think that’s being generous.”

“You’re kicking me out. Dad, I’m not even 18 yet.”

“You turn 18 in a month, you’re almost an adult. You made the decision to behave like this, to embarrass me in front of the professional community, to disappoint your mother.”

“But- but school! How am I supposed to go to school?” Richie felt a wash of panic over his body, but the more emotion he showed, the colder his father seemed to get. He looked like stone, small wrinkles cracked against his forehead and eyes. His jaw was set in a frown, carved against his face. 

“I don’t want to hear from you again, Richard.” Richie began to cry silently, hot tears streamed down his cheeks, but he refused to make a sound. His head was pounding and he felt lost, the tether to his world suddenly snapped by his father’s harsh words. His father turned and walked towards the door, but Richie took a shaky breath and screamed.

“This is fucking bullshit! You’re willing to lose your only son over this?” Wentworth kept his gaze straight, refusing to look at Richie.

“I won’t be there when you come home.”

“Fuck you!” Richie cried out, only to wince in pain as his jaw protested. His mother came rushing down the hall, standing motionless in the door way. She looked torn; torn between chasing after her husband or staying with her son. “Mom, please. Don’t let me go. Let me stay, he’ll listen to you,” Richie was pleading, nearly begging.

“Richie,” she said softly, her eyes red and watering.

“Mom, please. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Don’t let him do this. Please don’t make me leave.”

“Why couldn’t you listen to me?” she asked, a sob caught in her throat. Richie looked on helplessly; this was it. She wasn’t going to help him. Richie felt like a hollow shell; too fragile to touch. What was he going to tell Eddie?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being so patient with the update <3


	26. Visitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Loser's Club visits Richie in the hospital, and he's forced to make a decision that will alter his future.

The Loser’s Club tumbled out of the cab, and Bill shoved a mixed wad of ones and fives at the driver. Eddie ran up to the door, only to pause suddenly as he saw Richie’s mother on the other side of the glass. The rest of his friends watched cautiously from a few feet away as she opened the door. Her eyes were flaming red and he could tell she had been crying. _How bad was it?_ She took Eddie by the wrist and led him off to the side away from the doors.

“Is he okay?” Eddie asked, trying to seem like just a concerned friend.

“He’s going to be fine.” Eddie heaved a sigh of relief, but when Maggie’s face refused to lighten he found himself holding his breath again.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, confused by the expression she was giving him.

“Edward… the entire staff of the hospital knows you and your mother, correct?” Eddie shrugged, what did this have to do with Richie?

“I mean, yeah, I guess.”

“Do yourself a favor…don’t visit him alone. Don’t give them any reasons to speculate.” Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed; what on Earth was she talking about?

“Mrs. Tozier, I’m sorry but I’m not sure I’m following.”

“Eddie, they know why Richie was beaten up. And while I know about you two-” she paused as Eddie’s eyes widened in shock and embarrassment. “Yes, I know. But, just because I know, doesn’t mean the hospital should. Be smart about this…you need to be able to protect yourself from your choices.” She didn’t say much else but instead retreated to the parking lot, not bothering to look at the other teenagers who had begun to crowd around Eddie.

“Eddie? Are you okay?” Beverly asked softly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“I just want to see Richie,” he murmured. “But I need you guys to be there too.”

“You sure you don’t want to be alone with him?” They all looked at each other in surprise.

“I can’t make them suspicious. Richie’s been exposed already…oh Jesus this is all my fault.” Eddie put his face in his hands and took a shaky breath, trying to hold back the tears that threatened.

“None of this is your fault,” Bill replied sternly. “It’s this fucking town, okay? Everyone here is full of anger and hate; it has nothing to do with you.”

“C’mon, Eddie. Let’s go see him,” Mike urged. Eddie nodded softly and took a minute to compose himself before they all walked into the hospital.

Richie wrung his hands nervously, unable to control the slight tremors that traveled through them. He had to think of a plan. Maybe he could stay with Mike? No, that wouldn’t work. Soon the whole town would know about him, he doubted any of his friends parents would let him in. Maybe he could stay with Bev? Her aunt was pretty relaxed, and he could finish out his senior year. He sighed loudly; how the fuck could he stay here? Every day he spent near Eddie just put his boyfriend in danger. _I’m not safe anywhere in this town, either._ It was only a matter of time before the news spread that Richie was gay; school would become unbearable and Eddie could get hurt just by association. But there was no way he could stay and not be near Eddie; that would be torture.

_I have to leave._ Derry was a sinkhole of evil and chaos. He always knew it deep down; it was like a greasy film that coated the town. It filled the residents up with hatred and violence and darkness. The town was more violent and destructive than it should have been. Mike had once told him that his family believed something evil had always resided in Derry. That’s why terrible stuff kept happening…why It chose to feed there. It was the only explanation.

He could travel to a big city, maybe even get out of Maine. He could take Eddie with him, like he had promised…but then Eddie would be a high school dropout. Richie shook his head; he couldn’t do that. Eddie had to graduate; his life hadn’t been ruined yet. Richie could never forgive himself for messing up Eddie’s future like that. _So what can I do?_ There’s no way he could leave without Eddie insisting on going with him. He knew his boyfriend; he’d drop his whole life in Derry and follow Richie without any regards for the possible consequences.

“I have to lie to him,” Richie whispered to himself. His lip trembled at the thought. He hated lying. He always aid what was on his mind and had never been dishonest with his friends. The thought made him feel sick, and a lump formed in his throat that threatened to gag him. He’d have to leave without telling any of them. It wouldn’t be long, just a few months until Eddie had his diploma. He’d come back for him then. Richie nodded his head solemnly. He could get his shit together in a few months, find a job and a living situation. He’d make sure everything was ready. _If he fucking forgives me after this._ He would, he had to. He’d be mad as hell, and Richie couldn’t blame him. But Eddie was smart, he’d see that it was the only way.

The Loser’s Club walked in to the hospital only to see Stanley sitting in a chair and nervously bouncing his leg. The thin teen stood up and ran to hug each of them, releasing shaky sighs.

“I’m so glad to see you guys!”

“We’re just glad you’re all right,” Bill responded seriously.

“What happened to him?” Eddie asked, nervous to hear the answer.

“Doc says no permanent damage,” Stanley responded.

“Well that’s good, right?” Ben asked. Stanley ran a hand through his curls and looked anywhere but at Eddie.

“Relatively speaking yeah.”

“Just tell me, Stan. I can handle it,” Eddie insisted, setting his mouth into a thin line.

“Minor concussion. Fractured rib. Dislocated jaw. Black eye, and a few cuts and bruises.”

“Jesus Christ,” Mike muttered. Eddie was silent, his body rigid. Beverly came over to rest a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged her off.

“Eddie, he’s going to be okay,” she reassured him.

“I need to see him. Now,” Eddie whispered, more to himself than anyone. Stanley nodded.

“Well then we need to hurry, visitor’s hours are almost over.”

The group walked quickly through the halls, following Stanley silently until they approached Richie’s room. The lights were dim and when Eddie peeked in he could see Richie nodding off. Eddie nearly ran to Richie’s side, but Stanley grabbed his wrist and gave him a warning glance. The workers at the nurse’s station eyed them suspiciously. Eddie had to be careful. They all filed in and made a semi circle around the hospital bed. Eddie positioned himself at the foot, forcing himself to have the most distance from Richie. He wanted to touch him, to hold him, to kiss his wounds and promise him that he’d be by his side until he recovered. But instead he stood across from him, yearning from afar like he had endured only a month before.

“What’s up guys?” Richie greeted, attempting to mask his sadness. “Damn, I’m still the prettiest one here, huh?”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Beverly sniffled as she held his hand.

“It’s a joke Bev. Really I’m okay, you should see the other guys.”

“We did, they got second and fifth,” Eddie snapped. He didn’t mean to sound harsh, his anger was for his teammates, not Richie. Thankfully his boyfriend seemed to understand and ignored it.

“And how did you do?” Richie asked, attempting to look into Eddie’s eyes. The last look he’d get at his boyfriend for months…and he was fucking blurry. Richie wished his mom had brought his extra pair of glasses.

“I got third,” Eddie answered. He smiled softly, especially at the way Richie’s good eye lit up.

“I’m proud of you,” Richie answered. He wanted to say more, so much more. But the nurse that kept walking back and forth in the hallway reminded him that being open and honest was not safe.

“So what happened?” Bill asked earnestly.

“They beat me up as soon as I was alone. Left me on the ground. Good thing Stanley came out to check on me; could have gotten hypothermia or some shit.” Eddie shut his eyes tight, attempting to control the rage he felt bubbling up from his stomach.

“They’re so dead,” Mike muttered. The rest of the teens looked at him in shock; he may have been the strongest out of all of them, but he was usually the most gentle aside from Ben.

“I know you’re mad,” Bill began, “but don’t do anything to get yourself in trouble. Jocks stick together; you mess with the swim team and you get every single athlete in the school targeting you.” While Bill’s response was to Mike, he eyed Eddie the entire time he spoke.

“When can you come home?” Eddie asked.

“Two days,” Richie lied. He’d be gone then, in another state maybe. “We should all hang out at Bill’s that day.” They all nodded in agreement, happy at the prospect of things returning to normal. An older nurse walked in, her lips pursed and wrinkled.

“Visiting hours are over,” she stated, her voice devoid of any ounce of compassion. Richie bit his bottom lip, forcing his tears back behind his eyes. _Just a few months._ The nurse continued to stand in the doorway, forcing Richie to make his goodbyes quickly.

“I love you all,” he began, his eyes fixated on Eddie’s form, “so much. I’m the luckiest guy on Earth…your friendship has been worth everything to me.” They all smiled, knowing who Richie’s words were really for. They said their goodbyes as the nurse tapped her foot impatiently.

“We’ll see you soon,” Eddie called to Richie, stealing a last glance at his boyfriend. Richie smiled widely, ignoring the agonizing tension in his jaw. The nurse adjusted his medication levels and checked his vitals before finally leaving him alone in the room. Richie caught his breath, but the sob eventually broke forth and large tears fell like rain, soaking his blankets and hospital gown. If the nurses saw him, they chose not to intervene. He cried violently, his ribs aching in protest as his head throbbed until finally he succumbed to sleep, unable to fight the emotional exhaustion any longer.


	27. 27 Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of an exposition heavy chapter and a pretty significant time jump. What happens after Richie gets out of the hospital?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read the note at the end of the chapter; I'd like your opinions.

RICHIE 

Richie Tozier cried as he pulled away from the Derry city limit. He wasn’t sure where he’d go, but he knew he’d keep driving until Maine was a distant memory, unable to be seen from the rear view mirror. The teenager had gone home and collected his things; this really meant he had shoved as much as he could into the biggest suitcase he could find. He couldn’t move anything else by himself, and his parents were conveniently away when he came by. An envelope with one hundred dollars was left on his bed, but that was all. No note, no well wishes; nothing to suggest that he would be missed.

He sat down at the kitchen table after loading up what was left of his life into his car. In a shaky hand he scrawled out a long letter, complete with scratches and eraser smudges, and sealed it in one of his mother’s large blue envelopes she used to store credit card receipts. With the letter safely tucked in his jacket, Richie drove to the club house. He trekked through the woods and dropped down underground. He looked around sadly, the melancholy finally washing over him. He’d miss this place; the secret stash of beer, the fire pit, _the hammock_. This club house was his Garden of Eden, and he was being forced out, a flaming sword at his back as he traveled into the unknown of the dessert, his eyes now a little more open to the horrors of the world. He left the blue envelope nestled between two beers; the Losers would find it the next time they hung out.

He returned to his car and drove. He drove all night, only stopping twice for gas, food, and a bathroom breaks. His stomach was twisted in knots as he tried to focus on anything but the sweet sound of Eddie’s voice echoing through his ears. Richie couldn’t help but see his boyfriend’s large brown eyes as he attempted to look through the windshield. Nine hours later the teenage found himself driving through New York and rapidly approaching the city limits of the Big Apple. He’d never been before, but had always wished to see it. In the darkness, hours before dawn, the city was alive and bright with lights coming from every skyscraper. It wasn’t clean, and there were a lot of questionable looking people lining the corners and alleys; Eddie would hate it. But as he drove passed Central Park, how quiet and beautiful it looked as the moonlight illuminated its fresh snow, he thought that just maybe Eddie could call this place home.

He spent the first night of the rest of his life in the parking lot of a sleazy bar a few miles outside of the city. He worried about spending what was left of his money on a motel, so he shut off his car and slept in the back. He’d figure out what to do in the morning, he could stay and look for a job. Or maybe he could keep on driving; go south like Stanley always talked about. The lamp post he had parked under shut off, and Richie was left in the darkness, shivering under multiple layers of clothing as snow began to fall delicately over the parking lot. He felt numb and tired as he hugged himself, desperately wishing that he could see Eddie again.

The next few months would live on as an indistinguishable blur in Richie’s memory. Something that never quite made sense, but he had never bothered to try and understand. According to his adult memory, he couldn’t remember much before age eighteen.

The next morning the owner of the bar knocked on Richie’s window, rousing him from his sleep. Richie explained his situation, to an extent; stifling town, shitty parents, kicked out of the house. The owner, an old man named Reggie, took pity; or perhaps he was just bored with life and enjoyed the little trash talking twerp he found out in his parking lot. He offered Richie a job cleaning the restaurant and busing tables. In exchange for the lack of pay, he could set up a cot in the large supply closet and get two meals a day. This eventually turned into real employment as a server and dishwasher.

It was somewhere in that span of time that Richie began to feel lost. Not unhappy exactly, but something was missing. He felt as though part of him had vanished, as if he left it behind at a rest stop. He had every intention of calling Eddie as soon as he found a place of his own. To let Eddie know his boyfriend was waiting eagerly for him after graduation. But each day he spent away from Derry, he found that his past became blurry. Eddie went from the forefront of his mind, to a thought he had right as he slipped into his dreams, until finally the boy was erased from his brain; and he didn’t even realize it had been happening. It came to a point that he couldn’t remember anything about Maine, or Derry, or It, or the Loser’s Club. Sometimes when he was alone, when it was quiet and dark, he could feel his heart ache. Like it was calling out into the darkness for something, but he couldn’t figure out what.

He stayed with Reggie for some time, eventually becoming a bartender and trying his luck at amateur comedy nights. The crowds loved him; he was funny, entertaining, crude, zany. They simply couldn’t get enough of him. A comedy night at Reggie’s led to traveling around the city and performing at various dive bars. A year later he got discovered by a young agent who helped him get higher profile gigs until finally he was able to open for acts all around the state of New York. His career grew and he got his own place without needing roommates. He acted in one or two comedic plays, wrote a few skits for SNL, and then finally became Richie Trashmouth Tozier; one of the best up and coming comedians of America.

As he aged he became wealthier and more successful, making new friends and raking in opportunities. But some nights, unable to sleep, or drunk out of his mind, his chest would tighten and his cheeks would blush as his mind struggled to remember what his heart had been yearning for all these years. That is, until one day, he got a phone call.

EDDIE

The Loser’s Club gathered at Bill’s house two days after their visit with Richie. One by one they rang the bell, until finally there was only one person missing from the living room. Eddie shook his leg impatiently as he waited on the sofa; his heart was beating too quickly and his stomach felt like it might flip. An hour had passed, and then two, with no sign of the bespectacled teen. Eddie could feel the eyes of his friends resting on him. He excused himself to use the Denbrough’s phone and called Richie’s number. Maggie Tozier answered, her voice hollow. He asked where Richie was and she simply responded, “He doesn’t live here anymore.” Before Eddie could react she hung up the phone, leaving him motionless in the kitchen, his receiver now swinging by the cord.

That night had been filled with many tears and muffled sobs and even a few wails. Eddie was hurt, confused, scared. He worried about what had happened to Richie, was scared if the teen’s father had forced him out. But he was also furious. Furious that Richie would leave and say nothing. The weeks dragged on, and Eddie found few reasons to smile. He reverted to auto pilot, hoping for the call from Richie that would come and switch it back to normal. But it never came.

The Loser’s Club became more and more strained. Eddie felt isolated and worn, the darkness of Derry seemed to settle inside of him until one day all the negativity that had been brewing within him exploded. A member of the swim team approached him, called him a fag, and pushed him against a locker. Eddie couldn’t control himself. Years later he would never even remember it happening. But that day, Eddie threw the boy to the ground and kicked him harshly in the groin. He lifted the swimmer back up and pinned him against a locker by the throat, lifting his feet off the air. An assistant principle happened to be walking by and was able to break it up, but it landed Eddie in massive trouble. Due to Eddie’s contribution to the school’s athletics, his previously clean record, and the fact that there had been known instances of the swim team bullying him, Eddie escaped expulsion. Instead he was forced to attend therapy sessions with the school counselor.

The school counselor, Mrs. Redman, had spent a long career as a licensed therapist before retiring and working part time at the school. The sessions started off strained; Eddie didn’t trust her. He felt that he couldn’t trust anyone in the miserable town of Derry. But as time went on, he was able to open up with her about the bullying, which led into more personal matters that may have shocked any normal school counselor. But Mrs. Redman was different. She had an open mind and a kind heart; Eddie figured it was because she wasn’t actually from Derry originally. Together, she helped him process Richie’s absence and the trauma of that day of the swim meet. She even helped him dig deeper into his medical abuse and the sexual anxieties that derived from it.

Eddie was able to graduate on time with his friends, but the summer was uneventful and soon they all left for college. All except him. His biggest fears had come true as he was left alone with his mother for two more years, attending Derry Community College. He hoped he would hear back from his friends, maybe receive a phone call or a letter. But all he got was radio silence; he felt forgotten. Before his junior year he finally got the courage to leave and set out on his own. His mother cried and complained of course, calling him an ungrateful son who didn’t love her enough. But it was time, he needed to grow up.

Like the other Loser’s before him, within weeks of leaving Derry the town, and its history, and even Richie became suppressed deep in the hidden creases of his mind. He graduated from college, eventually becoming a risk analyst; a job he loved. He felt that it was made for him and it allowed him to dissect situations while being constantly challenged. He eventually met Moira, a woman who he couldn’t deny looked an awful lot like his mother. And acted almost exactly like her. He thought he loved her, was nearly convinced that this was what love should feel like. How should he know? It’s not like he had ever been in love before.

Sometimes at night though, in the quick seconds between consciousness and sleep, he could feel a pang in his chest that he could never explain. And sometimes, in the darkness, he felt a single tear fall from his eye, for no reason in particular. Still, his life had turned out fine. What was there to complain about? He had settled into this reality, satiated for years until one day, when the crow’s feet had begun to etch delicately around his eyes, he got a phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing to read my story <3  
> As we approach "2017" in the story, there is one detail I haven't quite made up my mind about. I've quasi followed the canon of the movie while clearly also taking liberties. This brings me to Stanley. I haven't been able to decide if I should let him be dead in the adult years like in the book and the movie, or should I continue taking my non-canonical liberties and keep him alive for "Part 2." Thoughts?


	28. The Restaurant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Loser's come back to Derry in 2019. It takes a bit of time for their memories to return, but truths about the past are slowly being pieced together.

“I am allergic to soy, anything that has egg in it, uh gluten, and if I eat a cashew I could realistically die,” Eddie explained to the waitress as she led him back to a private room. His heart had begun to beat rapidly ever since he drove passed the Derry town limit. Bits and pieces of his life were drifting back into his brain; names and places mostly. As he looked up from his shoes he was greeted by two distantly familiar faces that seemed to bring waves of memories crashing into his mind. “Holy shit!” he exclaimed. It was Big Bill and Mike. Bill had gotten older; crow’s feet distracted from his receding hairline. Mike was still big and strong, but his muscles had softened with age.

“Eddie!” Mike greeted immediately, running to pull the shorter man in for a bear hug. Mike clearly recognized him immediately, and Eddie wondered if it was because the man had never left Derry. Bill regarded Eddie warmly, as if looking at the newcomer created a film reel of his past that he was finally able to view. They stood and talked, every word and memory leading into more forgotten times.

Richie sighed loudly as he climbed out of his rental car, blinking against the harsh neon that illuminated the darkened parking lot. As he shut his door he noticed an embracing couple blocking the door to the restaurant. Upon closer inspection, there was something familiar about the woman’s red hair and her light dusting of freckles. _Bev!_ And the man, _holy shit_. Richie couldn’t remember the last time he had seen someone so attractive; but those eyes, soft and dark, were so familiar. But it couldn’t be? _Ben!_

“Wow,” Richie exclaimed, his voice breaking the two from each other. “You two look amazing. What the fuck happened to me?” Beverly smiled at him warmly while Ben’s eyes scanned over him quickly. “It’s Richie,” he answered, reading Ben’s thoughts.

“Yes! Ben,” the taller man answered, bringing him in for a hug.

“Come here!” Beverly greeted, wrapping her arms around Richie as if he were the prodigal’s son. Memories began to leak back into Richie’s mind; Ben getting sliced up by Bowers, Beverly and him going to the movies…his entire childhood came flowing in drop by drop. They walked into the restaurant and were led back to a private room. Richie spied three men with their backs turned, presumably looking at the fish tank. Richie gave a sly wink to his two companions and loudly rang the gong that sat near the edge of the room, effectively startling the three men.

“This meeting of the Loser’s Club has officially begun,” he stated authoritatively. The three men turned around, and a smile broke out on Richie’s face. He instantly recognized Mike Hanlon, who had seemed to grow even taller than he remembered. In the middle was their fearless leader; just seeing Bill again made Richie feel safer. And on the left…Richie found himself breathless for a moment. _Eddie Kaspbrak._ His best friend, the person he had pined after for so many years as a young teenager.

“Look at these guys,” Eddie commented, waving his hand to the new arrivals. His eyes though, were focused solely on Richie. The ache that he always seemed to carry in his heart, that emptiness that cried out for something, seemed to suddenly be quelled. _Richie fucking Tozier._ Memories of them reading comic books in the hammock and wrestling together entered into his thoughts. There seemed to be more, maybe even years of time that Eddie still couldn’t place. But he hoped the longer he visited with the Losers, the more he may be able to recall.

They all sat around the table, laughing and yelling as they recounted new old memories. Eddie would steal glances at Richie, studying his strong jaw and the familiar thick shock of dark hair. His stomach had gotten a little pudgier in comparison to the lanky and bony kid he used to know. He still needed glasses, but they weren’t the fishbowl kind that Eddie had found so endearing as a teenager. _Holy fuck! That’s right._ Eddie’s breath hitched in realization; he had a crush on Richie when he was about seventeen, didn’t he? He thought about his wife Myra, and how he always failed to get that special feeling around her. The feeling of your palms sweating, and your intestines twisting around like a tornado. The feeling he was experiencing right now.

The conversation turned to spouses, but Richie was too busy looking at Eddie to realize. Eddie had filled out since childhood, a little bulk in his arms. Richie wondered if he still had his swimming muscles. His face, now lined with a few wrinkles, was still soft and youthful, his deep brown eyes melting Richie into a puddle of smiles. _Fuck me_. Richie wasn’t _out_ in his professional life. It was bad enough wanting someone you could never have. But as Eddie just revealed, he was married, the final nail in Richie’s coffin. He took a shot, drinking away the negative feelings that swirled in his stomach.

“Wait, so, Eddie you got married?” he asked, masking the pain with laughter.

“Yeah, why’s that so fucking funny dickwad?” Eddie asked defensively.

“What, to like, a woman?”

“Fuck you, bro,” Eddie answered. _Shit, is it that surprising?_

“Fuck you!” Richie responded with a laugh.

“Okay Trashmouth, how about you? You married?” Bill asked.

“There’s no way Richie’s married,” Beverly chimed in, taking a sip of her beer.

“No, I got married,” Richie responded.

“When?” Eddie asked almost immediately. _Why did that make him sad? It’s not like Richie was ever going to actually be his._

“You didn’t know I got married?” Richie was trying desperately to hide the smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“No!”

“Yeah, me and your mom are very happy right now,” Richie answered with a grin. Bill nearly choked on his beer as Mike hit the table with his hand, trying to contain his wheezing.

“Hysterical,” Eddie answered petulantly, but he couldn’t hide his smile at knowing that Richie wasn’t married. The night continued on, and the six of them laughed and shouted as they ate and drank to excess. Richie couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy. Nor could he remember the last time he had felt as drawn to someone as Eddie. His feelings didn’t make sense to him; Eddie had been nothing more than his friend, but he knew he had missed him in an almost romantic way. He felt like he was going through fucking puberty all over again.

“Oh shit, do you guys remember when Eddie was on swim team?” Richie commented.

“No way, I forgot about that! The only reason your mom let you is because a doctor convinced her it would help with your asthma,” Ben replied.

“You got so strong,” Beverly added.

“Yeah, still wasn’t strong enough to take down Mike in an arm wrestle,” Eddie admitted with a chuckle. Mike grinned and kissed his bicep.

“Still got those swimmer muscles, Eddiekinz? Bet I could take you,” Richie challenged.

“Oh you’re on, Trashmouth.”

The two men clasped hands, an electric tingle traveled down Richie’s wrist, and Eddie felt his ears get hot. They looked into each other’s eyes, locking gazes as each pushed with all his might. The rest of the Loser’s were whooping and hollering, but Eddie and Richie couldn’t seem to hear any of it. The touch of skin made each feel warm. A hotness seemed to bubble up from Richie’s abdomen as he focused on Eddie’s dark brown eyes. They arm wrestled for a few more moments, but Eddie’s forearm began to shake and Richie was finally able to pin him.

“I declare myself champion,” Richie announced with a grin.

“Bull shit, you had a better angle,” Eddie quipped. “There’s no way you got stronger than me by telling jokes.”

“Oh Eds, you truly don’t understand how much stamina and strength is required for comedy.”

“Idiot,” Eddie said with an eye roll.

“But I’m your idiot,” Richie answered, shutting his mouth immediately after. Where had that come from? It just slipped from his mouth without a single thought, and it felt so natural. Richie’s fingers trembled as he tried to think up something else to say. Eddie felt himself growing hot under his shirt at Richie’s words, and he immediately felt like a teenager again.

“Some things never change,” quipped a new voice from the entrance of the restaurant. “I see these two morons are still flirting.” Everyone at the table turned to look at the newcomer, and smiles broke out on every face.

“Stan! You came,” Bill exclaimed. His eyes looked young and hopeful as he watched the final member of the club enter back into their lives.

“Of course I did. Someone had to get you drunk losers back to the hotel,” he answered with a sly smirk. Eddie and Richie were so transfixed on the adult Stanley that they didn’t realize they were still holding hands. “Mind if I ruin your little moment,” Stanley asked, pulling out the empty chair that sat between Eddie and Richie.

“Not at all Stan the Man,” answered Richie coolly as he released his grip from Eddie. His eyes glanced over to Eddie who had begun to chug his beer and he wondered if Eddie was still such a lightweight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Leap Day!


	29. The Hotel Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie begin to remember more than they anticipated.

Richie jumped up from his seat at the sound of a hand knocking on his hotel room door. He had been sitting in the arm chair since dinner, too afraid to close his eyes and go to sleep. After Stanley’s arrival, the table had erupted into chaos. Fortune cookies had broken open to reveal grotesque visions and blood dripped from the table cloth into the carpet. Baby birds and bats and deformed creatures crawled about their private room, attacking the Loser’s as a sickeningly familiar giggle echoed from the ceiling. Pennywise knew they were home; It had begun again.

Richie stood by the door, too afraid to open it. The soft knocking came again, a bit more urgently this time. He looked through the peephole to see Eddie standing with two whiskey glasses balanced in his right hand. He opened the door slowly, keeping on the chain.

“Password?” he asked.

“Open the fucking door Tozier, I can’t sleep.” Eddie was being serious, not even cracking a smile. Richie sighed and removed the lock to let the man in.

“Yeah, me either. I hate that fucking clown.” Eddie just solemnly nodded in agreement and thrust a filled whiskey glass into Richie’s hand. Richie watched as Eddie walked over to the to the arm chair and sat down gracelessly.

“Didn’t peg you for a hard liquor type of guy, Eds,” Richie commented, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“I’m not. I think it tastes like shit to be honest.” Eddie took a sip, and Richie though he could see the man’s eyes water. “Was hoping something stronger might knock me out.” Richie took a thoughtful sip from his own glass, the liquid burning his throat. He was already tipsy, but this would most likely push him over. He could tell Eddie was nearly drunk too; his cheeks flushed from the alcohol.

“It’s crazy being back here, man. It’s freaky actually, all this stuff I forgot to remember.”

“Tell me about it,” Eddie agreed. “How did I go all these years without wondering why I couldn’t remember parts of my childhood. Like, I remembered my mom. And I remembered being at the doctor’s office all the time…but how could I forget you guys?”

“Same here. I remember leaving before I graduated, but I can’t really remember why? It’s like there’s been a black hole in my mind for years and I never fucking cared.” The two men sat in silence for a while, and Richie bit at his bottom lip before speaking again. “So what made you knock on my particular door?” Eddie rolled his eyes and gave a playful shove to Richie’s thigh.

“Don’t let that go to your head, Trashmouth. You were the only one still awake.”

“Oh.” Richie frowned. Just like when he was a teenager, wanting someone who didn’t want him back.

“I’m messing with you, idiot. I guess all the memories and stuff, all the good times that I can finally remember, you were there for all of them. I think all these years I was missing my best friend, and I just didn’t know it.” Sure that was part of it, but Eddie couldn’t deny that the loneliness in his heart had been longing for more than friendship.

Richie’s head felt light; he hadn’t drank like this in ages, especially since weed was now legal in California. There seemed to be a light hum that traveled through his body, his limbs felt warm and loose. He hadn’t noticed that his leg was now pressed firmly against Eddie’s, but the shorter man didn’t seem to mind. He really had missed Eddie; that’s what he pined for every night before he went to bed. The one thing that kept him from being truly happy no matter how much success he attained. He wanted to touch him, to reach out to him and kiss him; to finally make this person his. He wasn’t a scared teenager anymore, he was an adult, dammit. Why couldn’t he just say what he wanted to say?

“I…I missed you too, Eddie Spaghetti.”Richie reached over to squeeze Eddie’s hand, but the shorter man didn’t let go. Richie’s face grew hot and his breathing felt short and airy. Eddie looked at him shyly from under his eyelashes, clearly embarrassed. But still, he held tightly to Richie’s hand. Richie ignored the fluttering in his gut and continued. “This feels familiar, doesn’t it?”

“What does?” Eddie asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“You, me, all of this,” Richie stroked Eddie’s hand with his thumb. He was going to go for it. If it went to shit, hopefully Eddie was drunk enough that he wouldn’t remember it the next morning. They were probably going to die anyway. “This fucking feeling in my chest, Eds. I feel like we’ve done this all before. This feeling that you and me are teetering on the edge of something?” Bits and pieces of memory floated around Richie’s brain; a hand hold, a kiss maybe?

“I think we have, Rich,” Eddie agreed. He turned his face entirely to Richie now, their noses only a few inches apart.

“Why did you get married?” Richie asked, almost lamenting.

“I don’t know…it didn’t make me any happier. I think I never stopped missing you.” Eddie felt as though he had stopped breathing, the silence of the room so deafening he could hear his own heart beat. Richie put his drink down on the floor and rested his trembling hand against Eddie’s cheeks. “I can’t feel my face,” Eddie chuckled, the words slipping out of him. They felt comforting in his mouth, like they had been uttered before.

“How about when I do this?” Richie asked, stroking along Eddie’s bottom lip. The words sent both men tumbling as the memories finally emerged, uncovered and shining amid the muddy waters of their past. Their first kiss in Richie’s bed, the romantic date in Richie’s car, telling their friends, fooling around in the supply closet, saying “I love you,” the tryst in the shower, and… their first time.

“Holy fuck,” Eddie breathed. The whiskey glass fell out of his hand, spilling all over the carpet. “Richie?”

“Hi, Eds,” Richie answered softly, his eyes pricking with tears of relief. They focused on each other, each afraid that a single movement might shatter what they had just regained. The years of heart ache, dull but ever present, all made sense. They had loved each other, and not just a one sided crush of a young teenager. There had been a relationship between two almost-adults lost to time, and it had finally returned. Eddie’s lip twitched up in a smile and leaned forward, closing the distance between him and Richie. He kissed the taller man chastely, parting the kiss too quickly. Richie grabbed the back of Eddie’s neck and brought the shorter man back, pressing their lips firmly together. Eddie moved his mouth against Richie’s, crafting their lips together perfectly as they tasted one another, rekindling what had been doused. But as the good memories flowed in, so did the painful.

Eddie’s walk home alone from Richie’s house, Christmas Eve with Richie’s family, Eddie’s breakdown in the shower, Richie’s stay in the hospital, and inevitably…

“Get off me!” Eddie shouted shoving Richie away. Richie wanted to pull him back close, but it was too late; he remembered it too. The reason he left before he graduated. He hadn’t said goodbye. And he was never heard from again. Eddie was suddenly aware of all the hurt it caused, his mandatory therapy, the dissolution of the Loser’s Club. His nose scrunched as he evaluated Richie.

“Shit, Eds, I’m-”

“Shut the fuck up. Just shut up, Richie,” he snapped. Eddie stood up and tried to ignore how light headed he felt as his body swayed. He bolted for the door, but Richie followed quickly behind him. “Leave me alone.”

“Please just let me explain,” Richie begged, trying to hold Eddie in an embrace. The shorter man pushed him away violently and opened the door.

“I don’t want to hear it!” Eddie yelled. He was overwhelmed, and hurt, and scared. All the negativity he had kept buried had suddenly crawled out and taken over. It was too much. He slammed the door behind him, leaving Richie alone in the hotel room. Richie fell to his knees, the old heart break now ripped through his chest like new, and all he could do was sob.

“Fuck!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'll let you guys be happy someday.


	30. Club House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was lost shall be found.

“Holy shit,” Richie breathed as he lowered himself down into the abandoned club house. He looked around at the molding floorboards and the dusty surfaces. It had definitely been decades since anyone had been down here. He looked at the tangled mess of blankets scattered about, fondly remembering his wrestling with Eddie, and how it had accidentally led to the furthering of their relationship. He attempted to help Eddie down into the hide out, but the shorter man jumped down without a glance to Richie’s outstretched hand.

The rest of the Loser’s followed, all climbing down into the forgotten world of their youths. Ben stared at the club house with pride; his first architectural project, and it was still standing. Bill, Beverly, and Stanley began exploring, looking through the tattered boxes of comic books and cds. Richie smiled mischievously to himself and decided to explore the corner where he recalled the beer used to be hidden. He doubted the Loser’s would have left any, but it was worth a shot. In the corner opposite Richie, Eddie had pulled Mike to the side, his arms crossed. They were whispering to each other, the others so engrossed in memories that they didn’t notice.

“Were you going to tell me, Mike?” Eddie hissed.

“What are you talking about, Eddie?” he whispered back, his eyes darting to the others.

“About me and Richie? Him leaving, abandoning me- us. Leaving us all without a word?”

“It was a painful time Eddie, that wasn’t for me to force you to remember before you were ready. I don’t have all the answers.”

“So when you saw us flirting last night? You didn’t think to warn me-”

“To warn you about what? Your ex-boyfriend who you loved and who loved you? You two are adults, Eddie. You can make your own decisions in spite of the past. I’m sorry for the memories that were brought up…but now that you do remember, I can give you this.” Eddie looked at Mike in confusion as the taller man produced an aged journal from his leather backpack.

“What is that?” Eddie asked. Mike handed him the book with a small smile.

“You threw it away a long time ago. I didn’t want anyone to find it, just in case it revealed more than you were ready to share with Derry. I kept it for when you’d be ready to have it again.” Mike walked passed Eddie into the center of the club house and cleared his throat. The rest of the Loser’s looked up at him, ready to hear what he had to say. “So for this ritual to work, you all need to bring a token. Something to symbolize what’s important to you. Then we will burn them. You’ll have to find them on your own, I’m afraid. Make sure you meet back at the library tonight.”

Richie had barely heard Mike’s words, as he was enthralled by what he found on his quest for their ancient stash of beer. A bright blue envelope was nestled between two bottles, untouched for decades. He thought there wasn’t anything else he could possibly remember, but the memories flowed once more. He had written the letter in his kitchen and stopped by the club house on his way out of Derry in the hopes that Eddie would find it and understand. But clearly that hadn’t happened. The Loser’s Club never met in the club house again after he had left. He snatched the letter and hid it in his jacket pocket. When he turned around, Mike had stopped speaking and his friends were climbing out of the hole, off to search for their tokens.

“Hey, Eds. Can I- uh- talk to you for a second?” Richie called as Eddie fingered at the book in his hands. They were the last two left, Mike disappearing from the entrance.

“No, I don’t think so,” Eddie said seriously, walking quickly for the exit. Richie hopped over some boxes and blocked his way.

“Eddie, you can’t avoid me! We need to talk about this,” Richie pleaded, reaching for Eddie’s shoulder. The smaller man brushed him off, his eyes cold.

“What is there to talk about, Richie? You left me!” Eddie snapped.

“I didn’t leave you. Everything I did was to protect you.”

“Oh, excuse the fuck outta me! I didn’t realize you abandoned me in god damned Derry for my benefit.”

“I did! If I had stayed-”

“Don’t act like you did this for me. You did it because you were scared shitless, so just own up to it and stop wasting my time.” Richie felt his cheeks growing red, and his stomach churned in irritation. Eddie was starting to piss him off.

“Yeah, I was fucking scared. I was seventeen, man! Those swim team jerk offs beat my ass to a pulp. My dad all but threatened me and banished me from the house while my mom just stood there and watched. I was scared of what could happen to me and what they might do to you…so excuse me for not thinking everything through. Believe me, I made the best decision I could.” Richie’s voice was rising, but Eddie’s ears had turned hot as he gripped his journal violently.

“You broke a promise. Why didn’t you just take me with you?”

“You wouldn’t have come,” Richie answered unconvincingly.

“Yes, Rich. I would have.” Eddie’s demeanor had softened slightly. “You knew I would have. So why didn’t you take me?”

“I wanted to, Eds. Believe me I did. But you needed to graduate. I didn’t want you to be a drop out just because of me; you were too smart to waste your potential.” Richie pulled the letter from his pocket. “I wrote you this before I left, and I hid it here so your mom wouldn’t find it but-”

“But we never came back here,” Eddie finished. He took the letter tentatively from Richie and opened it. Richie hadn’t realized he was holding his breath as he watched Eddie’s large brown eyes scan the page. “Th-this says that you were going to come get me,” Eddie whispered, a single tear trickling down his cheek. Richie wiped it away softly, pleased that Eddie didn’t swat his hand away.

“I was Eddie. I promise. I was gonna go get a job and a place to stay. As soon as I had everything ready I was going to show up at your graduation and whisk you away, but-” Richie’s voice broke for a moment. “But I forgot. I was only gone for a few weeks and I fucking forgot everything. I’m so sorry, Eddie,” he sobbed, removing his tear stained glasses. Eddie sighed and took Richie’s hand, squeezing it tightly.

“We both did, Richie. That’s not your fault…it makes me feel sick to think that I could forget the one person that-” Eddie paused for a moment, allowing Richie to look at him. “-that I can’t live without. And I never really did, you know? I never quite felt like I was really living all these years…not until I saw your stupid face last night in that restaurant.”

“If my face is so stupid, Kaspbrak, why did you try to seduce me last night?” Eddie rolled his eyes and punched Richie a little too hard in the arm.

“Shut up, I’m still pissed at you.”

“But?” Richie pressed, hoping for reconciliation.

“But, I forgive you…but only because I’ve missed you so much.” Richie smiled and captured Eddie in a bear hug, squeezing him with the intensity of a sailor finally coming back from months at sea. Eddie submitted to the hug, burrowing his face into Richie’s neck.

“I love you, Eds,” Richie whispered.

“That’s really gay, Tozier,” Eddie teased.

“Oh, you’ve got jokes now, Kaspbrak?”

“Maybe a few,” he chuckled.

“And here I am baring my heart-”

“I love you too, idiot.” Richie grinned widely, realizing he hadn’t heard Eddie say those words in over twenty years. “Well,” Eddie continued, “I think you found your token.” Richie nodded, safely tucking away the letter in his pocket.

“For the first time in my life I didn’t procrastinate on a project. What about yours, Eds?” Eddie opened up his journal, finally remembering the souvenir pressed between its pages. He flipped to a page containing a small flattened white flower and showed it to Richie, pointing to the inscription beneath it. _Deep down, I’ve always loved Richie. Today, I realized that he loves me back._

“Our first date,” Richie whispered. “And that’s from the flowers I picked for you.”

“Yeah, I wish I could have remembered that day growing up. Something to brighten up the dark times.” Richie nodded in agreement and bit at his bottom lip.

“So now what?” he asked, pulling Eddie close.

“How about we finish that drink in your hotel room?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay in posting a new chapter. I was visiting with my boyfriend for a few days, and then my job just sucks the damn life out of me sometimes. Love you all <3


	31. The Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Richie are able to pick up where they left off as teenagers.

Richie opened the door to his hotel room, allowing Eddie inside. The drive had been quiet, barely a word spoken between the two men. Richie’s heart beat quickened the closer and closer they drew to his bedroom; he couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss they shared the night before. Eddie had to focus on unclenching his jaw, not realizing how much tension he had been holding from nervousness. What now?

The heart ache was still inside him; he couldn’t erase all those years of loneliness. But after reading Richie’s letter, after being reminded in his own words from the journal about his feelings; he couldn’t push him away. With everything that had happened, would it be smart to try again? What if history repeated itself? What if it didn’t work like when they were younger? Life had happened and so much had changed. _And I’m fucking married, for Christ’s sake._

“How about that drink?” Richie suggested, his voice soft and unsure. It pulled Eddie from his thoughts, and the shorter man simply nodded. Richie pulled two small bottles of liquor from the mini fridge beneath the dresser. An expensive way to get a drink, but Eddie figured the comedian could afford it. He watched as Richie also grabbed two glasses from the fridge and began to pour, the trickling sound of alcohol cutting through the silence of the room. Richie handed a glass to Eddie and sat down on the bed, watching intently as the other man sat down in the chair. Eddie took a sip and grimaced slightly.

“Oh wow, that’s straight tequila, Rich.”

“Wasn’t a lot of options. And I wanted to get you drunk,” Richie said with a wink. Eddie’s eyes widened as he pulled the glass from his mouth. “I’m kidding, Kaspbrak. If we’re going to do stuff, I want us to be sober enough to remember it.”

“Are we going to…you know,” Eddie implied with a hand gesture, his cheeks feeling flush.

“Oh, I um- I mean, I don’t know. I kinda assumed-”

“Assumed what?” Eddie asked cautiously. Richie ran a hand through his thick hair, and Eddie wanted nothing more that to grip onto it as Richie sucked him off. _No, you need to think with the head that’s on your shoulders._

“I assumed that we might pick up where we left off.”

“Left off when? Last night, or when we were teenagers?”

“Eds,” Richie began, taking a sip from his drink and sighing softly. “I’ll take anything you’re willing to give me. I know this has been painful…but all these years I’ve been missing something, and then you finally come back into my life. I’m not letting you go this time.”

“You’re the one who left, Richie,” Eddie reminded gently.

“I did what I had to…but with everything inside of me I wish that I hadn’t forgotten. I had every plan to come get you, Eddie, trust me on that.” The smaller man reached out to squeeze Richie’s knee.

“I believe you…I don’t want you to let me go.” Richie looked into Eddie’s eyes and reached out to stroke his cheek. The shorter man leaned into the touch, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Tell me what you want,” Richie urged, leaning into Eddie.

“I want to give us another shot,” Eddie admitted. “I want to see what kind of life we could have together.” Eddie knew he wasn’t happy with Myra. They weren’t good together, but neither had any real reason to leave either. He liked his job, but he could be a risk analyst anywhere. His stomach was in knots, equal parts nerves and excitement. This was crazy, right? How could he be so willing to give up everything he knew for a man he hadn’t seen in over two decades? He should be committed.

But as he looked into Richie’s eyes, he could see the hopefulness and the admiration behind them. He missed those eyes, magnified by large glasses. He missed that jaw line, that black hair. Even though he didn’t remember, his heart had always missed Richie. And here he was, returned back to Eddie, wanting him. And Eddie wanted him too. Craved him.

Eddie could hear his heart rushing in his ears now as he downed the rest of his drink, attempting desperately not to gag. He put his glass down and got up from his seat to stand beside Richie on the bed. Eddie licked his lips as he straddled Richie’s lap. The taller man wrapped his hands around Eddie, and Eddie could feel that they were shaking.

“What are you thinking about, Tozier?” Eddie asked, raising Richie’s chin so that he could look into his eyes.

“I feel like a fumbling teenager,” Richie admitted with a bashful smile.

“Is that a bad thing?” Eddie asked, gently removing Richie’s glasses and placing them on the bed stand. “If I recall, you were quite the horn dog when we were dating.” As if on cue, Eddie could feel the distinct hardness growing beneath him.

“Ah, well Eds, some things never change,” Richie replied, waggling his eyebrows. Eddie smiled and looked at Richie, admiring him without his glasses.

“You know why I always loved looking at you without your glasses?” Eddie mused out loud, kissing the tip of Richie’s nose. Richie gave a small shrug and gently sucked at the crook of Eddie’s neck. “Because you only took them off when you were sleeping, and sometimes I’d watch how peaceful you looked…how handsome.” Eddie felt his cheeks growing red, but Richie continued to kiss up his throat. “Then when we got together, they’d come off whenever we got- um-”

“Hot and heavy?” Richie growled, one of his hands grabbing at the back of Eddie’s hair.

“Something like that,” Eddie replied breathlessly. He grinded his hips, enjoying the feeling of Richie’s cock against him. Proof of being wanted, of being desired.

“I missed your smell,” Richie admitted. Eddie always smelled clean; but not in the medical or sterile way one might expect. But fresh like mint or clean laundry. “And your taste,” he added. Richie cupped the back of Eddie’s neck and pulled him close, pressing his lips eagerly to the shorter man’s. Richie pushed his tongue into Eddie’s mouth, conquering every inch, claiming Eddie again. Eddie wrapped his legs tightly around Richie’s torso and thrust his hands into his thick raven hair.

Eddie grew hard, his erection straining against his jeans as he submitted to Richie’s tongue. Eddie playfully sucked on it before biting Richie’s bottom lip. Richie moaned loudly and slipped his hand up the back of Eddie’s shirt, feeling his smooth skin.

“I forgot that you liked it a little rough,” Richie chuckled, remembering the supply closet more vividly.

“Me too,” Eddie admitted, rotating his hips to gain friction against Richie’s erection. Richie gripped onto his hips, reveling in the feel of Eddie’s weight on top of him. Eddie lifted his shirt over his head, revealing a slightly bulkier body than when he was a teen. But Richie was mesmerized, scanning the smooth skin, how Eddie was still lean and muscular. His chest looked strong.

“Fuck, Eds. You work out or something?”

“Doctors say men in their forties should work out at least four times a week to prevent heart disease,” Eddie responded, his eyes sincere.

“You’re so fucking weird, Kaspbrak. I missed you like hell.” Richie kissed across Eddie’s chest, amused by the fact that even as a man, Eddie didn’t grow much body hair. He licked at his nipple, gently teasing it as he swirled his tongue.

“I want you, Richie,” Eddie whispered, tossing his head back.

“I’m yours,” Richie ensured, pulling Eddie down for another kiss. The man stopped him though, holding Richie’s face firmly.

“No, Rich. I mean I want you to take me. I want you to fuck me, Richie.” Richie’s eyes widened and he licked his lips nervously.

“A-are you sure? I don’t want to upset you.”

“I’m ready to try Richie. I want you.” Richie gave a boyish grin and immediately stood up, lifting Eddie into the air. Richie squeezed his ass as he captured his mouth for a heated kiss, enjoying the pressure of Eddie’s thighs around his hips.

“Let’s fucking do this, Kaspbrak,” Richie said in a low voice. He playfully tossed Eddie onto the bed and pulled his shirt over his head as the shorter man watched eagerly. Richie had strong arms, and his body had filled out from the skinny awkward frame he used to have. He had gotten taller, dark hair spread out across his chest and traveled down his stomach, disappearing beneath the waist line of his pants.

“It’s pretty unfair that you still get to be hot at forty,” Eddie quipped.

“Oh shut up, you’re one to talk,” Richie fired back. He unbuttoned his jeans, but stopped when Eddie began to follow suit. “Hands where I can see ‘em Eds. The only one taking off your pants tonight is me.”

“Yes sir,” Eddie relinquished, casually putting his hands behind his head, happy to take in the show. Richie unzipped his pants and pulled them off slowly, revealing tight black boxer briefs that were struggling to contain his member. Richie bit his bottom lip, eyeing Eddie as he pulled down his underwear, his thick cock springing free. Eddie’s breath hitched, and he licked his lips hungrily as Richie pumped himself a few times. “I think you got bigger,” Eddie complimented, “but I’m glad to see that nice round ass didn’t go anywhere.”

“Flatterer.” Richie quickly crawled onto the bed. He lay down on his stomach between Eddie’s thighs, giving a small lick to his navel. He quickly undid Eddie’s belt, any sense of sensual slowness gone as he gave in to his own impatience and eagerness. He dragged Eddie’s pants and boxers down in one motion, pulling the man slightly further down the bed. Eddie’s long erection stood at attention, and Richie disposed of Eddie’s clothes on the floor. He gazed at Eddie’s naked form, the way he seemed so comfortable and content under Richie’s eyes. “You look like a man, Eds.”

“We had to grow up eventually,” Eddie responded with a sad smile. He considered all the things he missed; how to him, Richie went from seventeen to forty in the blink of an eye. He felt a longing for those lost years they’d never be able to get back.

“Hey, don’t worry about that, Eds. I’m plenty immature enough to keep us feeling like teenagers,” he assured with an overdramatic wink. Eddie snorted softly.

“I don’t doubt that at all.” Richie got up on his knees, taking his cock in his hand. He slowly began to stroke it again, drinking in the sight of Eddie’s nakedness.

“Touch yourself,” Richie urged, his voice wobbly with nerves. Eddie pumped himself, arching his back as he reveled in his own touch, turned on by Richie watching his every move. He tossed his head back as he gently bucked into his hand, licking his lips and emitting small moans. “You’re so fucking sexy,” Richie breathed. Eddie released a small whine.

“Keep talking,” he begged.

“You’re mine, Eddie. You’ve always been mine, and I’m going to prove it to you.” Richie’s skin broke out in gooseflesh, and deep warmth bubbled up from his abdomen.

“Tell me how,” Eddie whispered, swirling the pre cum around the head of his cock.

“I’m gonna fuck you till you see stars. My name, the only thing on your lips. I’m going to make you cum so hard it’ll ruin you for anyone else.”

“Oh, fuck Richie. Touch me, touch me!” Richie nearly growled as he spread Eddie’s legs, taking the shorter man’s cock in his mouth. “Jesus Christ,” Eddie breathed, holding on tightly to Richie’s hair as the man bobbed up and down, sucking diligently. He came off of Eddie with a lewd pop, and looked earnestly into the man’s eyes.

“Are you ready?” Richie asked, his tone more serious and concerned.

“I am, Rich.” Richie gently spread Eddie’s legs again and gave a slow lick around his hole. Eddie sighed softly, focusing on his own heart beat. Richie gently inserted his tongue and lightly sucked at Eddie’s hole, getting the man slick and ready. He watched Eddie carefully as he slowly inserted his index finger, gently pushing through the initial resistance until he was able to slip in up to his knuckle. He paused for a moment, and Eddie nodded for him to keep going. Richie curled his finger inside, and Eddie moaned softly, the sensation new and pleasant.

Eddie closed his eyes, attempting to focus on the pleasure that Richie was giving him. _So far so good. Richie would never hurt you. Remember the breathing techniques, and the therapy from when you were seventeen. You can do this, Eddie. You trust Richie. He’s doing this to make you feel good. Richie doesn’t lie to you._ Eddie moaned a little louder now as Richie made his way to three fingers, pushing them in and out as he stretched Eddie’s hole. He massaged inside of Eddie, curling his fingers as he rubbed deliciously.

“Holy shit, that feels…good,” Eddie breathed, his body tingling in delight. “I want to feel you, Richie. I’m ready.” Richie breathed slowly and made his way up to the top of the bed. He propped himself up against the head board, and Eddie eagerly followed, straddling him. He kissed Richie fervently, taking in his scent, his taste.

“Eddie,” Richie whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Eddie responded immediately. He had never stopped. He gave Richie another swift kiss before lowering himself onto Richie’s cock, stretching fully as he sank down to the base. “Holy fuck,” he exclaimed breathlessly. He had never been filled like this before, and the sensation made his whole body hot and needy.

“Shit. You’re really tight, Eds. It feels amazing.”

“I guess we ruined our friendship again,” Eddie joked softly, adjusting himself gently.

“You mean now that I’ve ravished you?”

“Shut up, Trashmouth. You’re nowhere near done,” Eddie teased. Richie gripped Eddie’s hips and guided them up and down as he moved in and out of Eddie. The men moaned loudly, the friction maddening and addictive. “A little faster,” Eddie encouraged. Richie bucked his hips as he brought Eddie down onto his cock, nailing the man’s prostate. “Fuck, yes. That’s-” Eddie moaned loudly, unable to complete his own sentence. He dug his nails into Richie’s shoulders as he bounced up and down, filling himself over and over again.

“I wanna split you wide open,” Richie growled, digging his nails into Eddie’s back as the shorter man continued. “I like seeing you fuck yourself on my thick cock.” Eddie arched his back and rocked his hips. The pressure on his cock had Richie panting, holding on desperately to Eddie as he felt himself build higher and higher, his ears nearly ringing. Eddie’s entire body felt like it was blossoming, every nerve firing electricity in tantalizing pulses. His abdomen tightened, his cock painfully hard as Richie pushed deep inside of him.

“I’m fucking close, Richie. Oh, god.”

“Me too, Eds. I’ve gotcha, okay? Cum for me, Eds.”

Eddie felt himself dissolve into pleasure as he came violently, his cum coating across Richie’s stomach and chest. Richie followed quickly, screaming out Eddie’s name as he came hot inside of him, his hips bucking erratically as he spiraled into his orgasm. Eddie collapsed into Richie’s arms, his breath hot against the taller man’s neck. Richie held him tight, his breathing ragged and harsh as he attempted to collect himself. They stayed this way for some time, enjoying the feel of the other’s body moving gently.

“Hey, Eds?”

“Yes, Richie?” Eddie responded sleepily, nuzzling closer.

“I’m never going to leave you again, Eds. I promise.”

“I know, Richie. I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked this chapter, I loved writing it <3


	32. Interrupted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie and Richie decide to clean off in the shower, but something unexpected occurs.

“We should get cleaned up,” Eddie prompted, leaning back from Richie. The taller man’s stomach was covered in Eddie’s cum. “Sorry,” he added shyly, equal parts turned on and disgusted.

“Trust me Kaspbrak, not even in the top ten grossest things that have been on me.”

“Do I even want to ask?”

“You wanna know what number one is?” Richie was grinning, his eyes mischievous.

“If you fucking say, ‘your mom,’ I swear to god Richard, I will walk right out that door.”

“What’s the point in this memory loss shit if you still remember all my jokes?” Richie pouted. Eddie rolled his eyes and climbed off of the taller man. He stretched his limbs, reaching up towards the air, his body taut and glistening with sweat. Richie’s eyes were wide as he bit down on his bottom lip. How was he already getting hard again? He hadn’t had a recovery time like this since his early twenties.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Eddie quipped.

“Is that an offer? Because I could use a new background for my laptop.”

“How about you come join me in the shower and we’ll negotiate?” Eddie offered, trailing into the bathroom and turning on the water. Richie grinned widely and sauntered across the hotel room to lean leisurely in the door frame.

“You know Kaspbrak, showers are supposed to make you clean. If you let me in, I make no promises of that happening.”

“You sound like you think you’ll be in charge,” Eddie quipped back. He gave Richie a devious smirk as he pulled back the curtain to get in. Richie chuckled to himself. Eddie was a good seven inches shorter than him; and unlike when they were teenagers, Richie was pretty sure he was stronger. He followed Eddie into the shower and was met with lips crashing against his. Eddie pushed his back against the wall, pinning Richie to the slick tile. The water sprayed and splashed against bare skin as Eddie overtook the taller man’s mouth, thrusting a hand into his damp hair.

“Ohh fuck, Eds,” Richie moaned, feeling himself grow fully erect. Eddie gripped Richie’s cock and teased the head with his thumb.

“I like hearing you moan my name,” Eddie whispered. He put his hand against Richie’s chest and looked him in the eyes. “Tell me, Tozier. Who does this cock belong to?” He gave a small pump to Richie’s member.

“You,” Richie breathed, bucking his hips.

“Say my name,” Eddie commanded firmly.

“Eddie,” Richie moaned loudly, leaning his head back against the wall.

“And who is going to fuck you until you cum all over this shower like the filthy little slut you are?” Eddie asked. He had never spoken this way before, but he remembered how much he enjoyed it when Richie did all those years ago. And using that kind of language with Richie, it made his chest tighten in excitement; every inch of him felt hot and dangerous.

“Fucking hell, you are Eddie,” Richie breathed. Eddie gave a low growl as he spun Richie around, forcing the taller man to brace himself against the tile. Both men were drenched now, and Eddie lathered up his hands with the small bar of soap in the shower. He pressed himself against Richie, his long member hard against the taller man’s round ass. Eddie slid his hands up and down Richie’s front, rubbing his chest and stomach before travelling lower. He slid his hand easily up and down Richie’s cock, thrusting against his ass with every pump.

“Just getting your nice and clean,” he whispered against the back of Richie’s neck.

“I missed you so god damn much,” Richie moaned, leaning his ass into Eddie’s crotch. Eddie bit at the back of Richie’s shoulder and lifted one of the taller man’s legs to rest his foot on the lip of the tub. Eddie grabbed at his ass and shook, enjoying the fullness in his hands, and he spread his cheeks to reveal his hole. “Fuck me Eddie, I want to feel you,” Richie nearly begged.

Eddie gripped his hips harshly and dug his nails in as he pushed himself steadily until he was buried deep up to the base of his cock. Richie gave a high whine, forcing himself to relax while being completely filled by Eddie. Eddie gave a harsh smack to Richie’s ass as he pulled out and pushed back in with delicious friction. He fisted his hand into Richie’s hair as he set on a rhythm; pounding and passionate, taking Richie fully. Richie emitted an uninhibited moan, the sound echoing through the bathroom as he surrendered to the pleasure that Eddie provided him. He liked being used, being desired. Eddie made him feel young again, confident even. Each breath and thrust and bite was erotic to Richie; he loved not being in control.

“You feel amazing,” Eddie commented through gritted teeth, “like you were fucking made for me.” He reached deep, nailing Richie’s prostate, stretching him mercilessly.

“I was, Eds,” Richie gasped, sliding his hand up and down his painfully erect cock. “Jesus Christ, I’m not gonna last much longer.” Eddie shuddered, his body building higher and higher as he approached his orgasm. Richie was so warm and tight around him; he felt as if every cell in his body was inflamed.

“I’m close too, Rich,” Eddie hissed in pleasure. He felt his toes begin to curl, and he could see the muscles across Richie’s back tighten and flex as the taller man spiraled, Eddie’s name on his lips like a prayer in the night. Eddie thrust a few more times before cumming violently, draping himself against Richie’s back as he collapsed.

“Holy fuck,” Richie chuckled, pressing his hot cheek against the cool wall.

“My sentiments exactly,” Eddie responded softly, rubbing his face against Richie’s back. A loud sound came from outside the curtain and Eddie furrowed his brows. “Did you hear that?”

“Hun, all I can hear is the sound of my heart pounding in my ears,” Richie answered, a bit dazed. The creak of hardwood put Eddie on edge.

“No, no, I definitely hear something,” Eddie repeated. A low malevolent voice seemed to hum beneath the sound of the water falling. Eddie drew back the shower curtain and crept out, leaving Richie to recover in the tub.

Richie’s head was swimming as he tried to regain composure. _For two decades I missed out on this shit._ His heartbeat was still in his ears, but he was able to hear Eddie’s surprised gasp from the bedroom. The air left Richie’s lungs when he heard a scuffle and the terrible laughter of an unfamiliar voice. Richie had to choke back a scream when Eddie pulled on the shower curtain; his large brown eyes scared and welling with tears as a pocket knife protruded bloodily from his left cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for how long it's taken me to update, thank you for being so patient! Hope everyone is staying safe <3


	33. Bowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Canon typical violence

“Move over,” Eddie urged in a suppressed whisper. He had to force Richie to the side as he climbed into the tub, concealing them with a shower curtain. Blood trickled from Eddie’s cheek, running down his torso and legs to speckle the white porcelain. Harsh footsteps entered the bathroom, and Richie desperately choked back the sound of his own breathing. Was it Pennywise?

Reconnecting with Eddie nearly made him forget the entire reason they were here; why the Loser’s Club had reunited after two decades. The two men listened intently, and the taller man glanced over to Eddie who was shaking; not with fear, but a seething rage that made his lower lip quiver. A blob of a shadow passed in front of the curtain.

“It’s your time, Eddie,” came a sadistic voice on the brink of maniacal giggles.

Wait, Richie knew that voice. _Henry fucking Bowers._ Memories of constant threats and taunts flooded into Richie’s brain. A specific instance where Bowers had called him a fag; the first time ever Richie took the insult to heart. The day he had crudely carved his and Eddie’s initials into the kissing bridge. Richie’s mind raced to try and decide what to do next. He was scared shitless, but he felt the need to protect Eddie. Consumed with panicked thoughts, he didn’t notice Eddie tentatively fingering at the knife.

Eddie bit down hard on his lip, and with an agonized grunt, pulled the knife from his cheek; the echo of ripping flesh bounced around in his brain as his skin stung with violent pulsations. He rammed the knife through the shower curtain, and a sickening squelch could be heard as ring by ring the curtain fell from the rod. Eddie’s entire body was shaking as he saw the blood seep through it, the handle of the knife now sticking out from Henry’s chest. 

“You should cut that fucking mullet, it’s been like thirty years man,” Eddie managed to stutter out. Henry looked thoughtfully at his chest, his eyes vacant as if he were going into shock. Richie had remained motionless during the whole ordeal and was only able to regain his words as Eddie grabbed his hand and slowly pulled him out of the tub and to the bathroom door.

“Eds, you fucking stabbed him,” Richie whispered.

“He shanked me in the face,” Eddie hissed back.

“It was awesome.” Richie and Eddie rounded through the doorway, but paused when they heard a sadistic chuckle.

“Always knew you were a fucking faggot, Tozier. But don’t worry, we all float down here,” Henry hissed. He lunged for the men, pushing Richie out of the way and tackling Eddie to the ground. Eddie yelped, his naked back smacking against the thick carpeted floor. Henry yanked the knife from his chest with a roar and plunged it down towards Eddie’s heart. The shorter man caught Henry’s forearm, desperately holding the larger man off of him; the knife inched closer and closer to his skin. The blade carved a superficial line above his pec, but Eddie couldn’t manage to scream.

“Get off of him, asshole!” Richie screamed. He grabbed the corkscrew from the mini bar and drove it sharply into the side of Henry’s neck. There was a grotesque gurgle that bubbled from Henry’s mouth, followed by a stream of hot blood that oozed over Eddie’s chest. The shorter man watched in horror as the life drained from Henry’s eyes, his body becoming heavy and limp. Richie shoved Henry off of Eddie before running into the bathroom to vomit violently into the toilet. He felt as if the breath had left his lungs, and he wondered if he’d benefit from Eddie’s inhaler.

Eddie picked himself off the floor and rushed to Richie’s side. Richie continued to vomit loudly, the muscles of his abdomen and back aching from the intense heaves. He pulled Eddie to the ground in an embrace, ignoring the blood that painted the shorter man’s body. Eddie let out a labored sigh before wincing in pain at his cheek.

“Holy fuck, Eddie are you okay?”

“You killed him.”

“Well, yeah I guess,” Richie responded. He felt a bit light headed; Henry was dead because of him. He felt another wave of bile rise up in his throat.

“You saved my life, Rich,” Eddie whispered, cupping Richie’s face between his hands. He stroked Richie’s cheek with his thumb, gazing desperately into his dark eyes.

“Of course I did. I’m not going to let anything happen to you; I love you.”

“I love you too.” Richie gave a deep frown as he finally squinted enough to focus on the deep wound in Eddie’s cheek. It looked ragged and unclean. Eddie looked so vulnerable, and it made Richie feel like weeping.

“God, Eddie…that looks really bad.” Eddie bit his bottom lip and gave a slight nod.

“No yeah, it hurts like a bitch. But I’ll be okay; remember when I fixed up Ben after Bowers carved into him?”

“You should have been a surgeon,” Richie teased lightly.

“Too much germ exposure,” Eddie quipped back. He looked down at his naked body, now scarlet and sticky. “Let’s get cleaned up though, I’m feeling kind of woozy.” Richie gave a light peck to Eddie’s other cheek. He’d help Eddie get cleaned up, and then they’d call the other losers. If that demonic clown was using Bowers to attack Eddie, then everyone was probably in danger. Richie shuddered; Pennywise wouldn’t go down so easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter; my job is working me a crap ton this week. On another note, I think there's only going to be a few chapters left in this story!


	34. This Kills Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Loser's Club face off against It for the final time.
> 
> TW: Canon Typical Violence, Injury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important note at the end.

“Holy shit,” Stanley breathed, running a hand through his curls. “It _is_ Bowers!”

“Well, yeah Stan. I thought I made that clear over the phone,” Richie quipped. The close proximity to a corpse was putting him on edge.

“But wasn’t he in an asylum?” Stanley tried to reason, leaning on logic as always.

“He told us that we’d float,” Edie explained quietly, refusing to look at the body any longer. His cheek had really begun to ache from the knife wound. His skin crawled as he imagined the infection festering and trickling through his blood stream.

“Pennywise was using him again,” Stanley decided. Frantic footsteps approached the door and Beverly entered moments later, her eyes panicked. She captured Eddie in a hug and dutifully scanned the gauze that was already bleeding through.

“Thank god you’re okay, Eddie,” she sighed. They all turned to the door again as Mike and Ben rushed in, each man pausing at the sight of the dead man on the floor.

“Bowers,” Ben growled with an intensity Richie had never seen from him.

“This is bad,” Mike concluded, quickly taking his phone out of his pocket. “This needs to end tonight, I’m calling Bill. You all get ready.”

“How did this happen?” Beverly asked, backing away from the body.

“Yeah, I’m wondering that too. Why were you in Richie’s room?” Stanley asked, turning to Eddie. The shorter man opened his mouth to speak, but was only able to blush furiously.

“Oh c’mon Stan the Man. You didn’t really think Eds would be able to resist my charm for too long, did you?” Richie answered with a proud grin. Ben’s cheeks turned pink, and Beverly put a hand over her mouth to try and conceal a smile.

“Richie!” Eddie chastised in exasperation. The Losers filed out of the room and into the hallway, unwillingly to be around the corpse any longer.

“What? We already told them about our burning loins for each other once,” Richie responded.

“Oh goodness.” Ben moaned, massaging his temples.

“I know I said you could do worse than Richie…but now you’ve chosen him twice, huh?” Stanley answered in a bored tone, closing the door the room. They’d worry about Bowers later.

“That may be the best compliment you’ve ever given me Stan,” Richie responded, tugging on one of Stan’s curls until it released like a spring.

“Just like old times,” Beverly mused to herself, allowing a melodic chuckle to float down the hall. They noticed Mike shoving his phone into his pocket and darting down the stairs.

“We gotta go now guys,” he called over his shoulder. “Bill is in trouble!”

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked, zipping up his jacket.

“He’s going to try and take on It himself.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

_This is insane. I must be out of my god damned mind._ Eddie stood trembling, the metal rod from Beverly gripped tightly between his hands. He looked at this creature; this disgusting monstrosity of a spider, and a low growl bubbled up from his stomach. He was terrified and exhausted; he defended himself from Bowers, withstood the terrors within the Neibolt house, waded through filthy water, and had every possible fear of his exploited; all thanks to this fucking clown.

“Wanna play truth or dare?” Eddie turned his head to see Richie shouting at It, a rock in his grasp. “Here’s a truth, you’re a sloppy bitch!” Eddie’s eyes widened. _Richie!_

“No,” he whispered, unable to make his voice any louder.

“That’s right,” Richie taunted, his lip curled into a snarl. “Let’s dance. Yippee-ki-yay mother-” Eddie choked on his breath as he saw Richie’s entire body go slack. The man’s jaw hung open as his eyes rolled back grotesquely in his head. The clown’s mouth was open wide; rows and rows of jagged yellow teeth led up to the sickening cycle of swirling orbs behind his throat. Eddie gulped, unable to process the fact that the love of his life was caught in the deadlights.

Eddie hated It; hated the clown for ruining his childhood, for infecting his hometown with evil. He hated it for damaging his friends so terribly they all forgot each other; It kept them isolated and alone for all their adulthoods. Because of It, he lost more than two decades with Richie. All that time he wasted searching in vain for things that could never make him happy. And now here he was standing face to face with the villain of his existence, and It had Richie in its malicious grasp. Eddie searched frantically around; Ben and Beverly were missing, Mike was nearly unconscious on the floor. Stanley had been pinned under crumbling stones, his free arm reaching desperately for Bill. Eddie had to do it; he had to be brave. Richie always made him brave.

“This kills monsters,” he whispered to himself, reciting the mantra faithfully. “If you believe it does…if you believe it does.” Eddie’s voice grew louder, the tremors beneath his skin replaced with intense energy. He could do this; he refused to be a victim of It for any second longer. “If you believe it does!” he yelled, walking towards the spider. “Beep-Beep motherfucker!” he screamed at the top of his lungs, the metal rod aloft in his arm like the Spear of Triam. The spear flew with precision that surprised even Eddie, stabbing the back of Its throat with a sickening squelch. The monster faltered back, dropping Richie gracelessly from Its trance as It hacked up blood and tongues of flame. It staggered a second longer before impaling itself on a massive stalagmite; Its blood spurting forth like the spray of the ocean. “Holy shit!” Eddie sprinted over to where Richie had fallen, the taller man’s body moving slightly as he groaned in pain. “Rich! Oh, Rich!” He cradled Richie’s head. “Rich, wake up.”

“Oh fuck,” Richie groaned, almost sure he had a concussion.

“Yeah! There he is!” Richie stared at Eddie in confusion; the shorter man’s ecstatic smile seemed so out of place in the macabre darkness. “I think I got him man! I think I killed It for real!” Richie began a sigh of relief that was quickly choked back by his own scream. A long claw had suddenly protruded from Eddie’s torso, his shirt turning a wet maroon almost instantly.

“Eddie! No!” Richie screamed as he felt hot blood splatter against his face. Eddie’s eyes were wide in terror, and he shakily touched the claw coming out of him. Blood seeped from his lips, and he glanced at Richie in helpless confusion.

“Richie?” Eddie’s body was flung back as It laughed manically, waving the shorter man like a rag doll through the air before tossing him down a side cave.

“Eddie!” Richie was frozen in place, and he was certain his heart had stopped beating. He needed to run after Eddie, but his body refused to move, save for his shaking hands. He hadn’t noticed Stanley free himself from the rock slide and dash over to Richie’s side.

“Get the fuck up, Trashmouth,” Stanley yelled, holding Richie’s face between his hands. “They can handle this asshole, okay? Eddie needs you now!” The smaller man mustered all of his strength to pull Richie off of the ground and half carry him over the stones to the cave where Eddie had landed. The other Loser’s ran in front of It, distracting the monster to ensure Stanley and Richie made it safely. They carefully stepped down the slope to see Eddie laying in a bloody heap at the bottom.

“Eds!” Richie yelled. He carefully pulled the man up and leaned him gently against the wall. His entire front was bloody, and Richie wasn’t sure where the wound actually was. A thick metallic smell wafted from Eddie, and it made Richie nauseous.

“I- I almost got him Rich,” Eddie said weakly. His skin was pale and dull, and Richie gently cupped his good cheek.

“You were amazing Eds…you’ve always been so brave.”

“You make me brave, Richie,” Eddie said with a wince, his eyes drooping heavily.

“And you saved me…why would you do a stupid thing like that?” Richie quipped.

“Because I love you, idiot. You’d do the same for me.” The clown roared menacingly, and Stanley put a hand on Richie’s shoulder.

“We gotta kill this fucker,” Stanley growled. “I swear to you Richie, we will get Eddie some help after we destroy It.” Richie looked over to Eddie who gave him a curt nod.

“I’m not going anywhere,” the shorter man joked weakly.

“I’ll be right back, okay Eds? I swear it.” The two men raced towards the monster, the other Losers joining beside them. Eddie could no longer see, his vision becoming blurry as all the noises were steadily replaced with a low ringing in his ears. _Shit, is this what dying feels like?_ His entire body ached and burned; it felt like fire was searing through his chest and abdomen. He fought to keep his eyes open, but his lids grew heavier and heavier until he finally submitted. He could just let go…if he let himself slip away the pain would end. He’d never have another injury or another heartbreak. It was so easy…he just had to let himself fall into the darkness.

There was a rumbling beneath him, the feel of rocks cracking and splitting echoed up through his spine. The light of the tunnel had turned green behind his closed eye lids. _I want to live._ Eddie desperately tugged himself free from the darkness, desperate to see the light again. There was the faint sound of a panicked voice; it was Richie. Eddie clawed his way towards that voice, tearing away at the tongues of death that tried to ensnare him. _I’m here, Richie! I’m here._

“Honey, honey I think he’s dead,” Beverly whispered in shock.

“He’s gone,” Bill added, choking back a sob.

“No, he’s just hurt. We can still save him, okay?” Richie snapped. Eddie didn’t look good; his eyes refused to open and his body was cold and still. Mike put a hand on Richie’s back and rubbed gently.

“Let him go Rich. We need to leave,” Mike urged in a defeated tone. Richie scanned the Loser’s desperately, refusing to leave Eddie’s side. He gripped the shorter man’s hand and to his surprise, Eddie gripped back. It was weak, almost undetectable, and he could only move his pinky. But Richie was sure of it.

“We can’t leave him down here,” Stanley stated. He looked to Ben, his eyes serious. “Help me and Richie carry him out. If we do this fast, no one else has to die in this hell hole.”

“Do you really think he’s still alive?” Ben mouthed to Stanley. The slender man could only shrug.

“It doesn’t matter. No one deserves to die alone.” Ben nodded and rolled up his sleeves as he crouched down to Richie’s level. 

“Richie, you’re going to grab his right side, okay? Stanley, you got his left. I’ll support his legs.” Fortunately Eddie didn’t weight that much, and Ben could have easily carried the man all by himself. Beverly came over and applied pressure to the wound, making sure that Eddie was being handled carefully. Mike and Bill led the way, finding the best path to get the entire Loser’s Club to safety.

_I’m still here. Don’t leave me!_ Eddie could no longer feel anything; his hearing and eye sight had dissipated. All he could do was cling on and hope that he would wake up from this nightmare. After all these years of dreaming, of shooting up from the bed in panicked cold sweats, his recurring nightmare had come true. _Don’t leave me, Richie. I don’t want to be alone!_ Eddie could feel the darkness tugging at him once more; he just needed to last long enough for the light to fight back. But for now, everything was quiet and numb. _Don’t leave me alone._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has continued to stay with this story. I have had perhaps my worst week of 2020, but getting to work on stories for you makes it a little easier. This fic is almost over, but I am not quite ready to stop writing these characters. Please, if you have any ideas for one shots or short Reddie fics, let me know! These can be adult/teenage versions of "Fires in Winter," or prompts completely unrelated to this fic. I just love these boys and I think continuing to write them will cheer me up. Love you all, and please stay safe <3


	35. Playground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I didn't leave you. I kept my promise Eds."

Eddie blinked his eyes open against the harsh sunlight. The warmth was intense and he could feel his skin begin to develop a sunburn. He gasped loudly and grabbed at his torso, but his wound wasn’t there. In confusion he reached up to press his fingers against his cheek: no gauze, just smooth skin. The man looked around; there was no sign of crumbling rock, or Pennywise, or deadlights. He was on a playground. Bit by bit his eyes adjusted to see a very familiar school yard littered with children. Eddie gave a half smile as he realized he was at his old elementary school.

He began to walk around, searching for a reason he was here. But as he traveled across the tether ball court and between the swings, it became very apparent that none of the children could see him. Not only that, but their clothing seemed out of place; almost early eighties in era. He saw a group of children playing red rover. They were squealing with delight as the more athletic kids broke violently through the others arms. There was a small game of kickball and various kids climbing up the large metal slides.

“What is happening?” Eddie mused to himself. He felt as though he were walking through a dream; each step heavy and swirling with stimuli. He walked over to the monkey bars where he saw a young child with thick glasses and a tangled knot of black hair. He was muttering something before kicking up his feet and inverting himself. His small face began to turn red as the blood rushed into his cheeks. Eddie approached closer and his heart stilled as he was able to make out the child’s features. “Richie,” he whispered.

“One, two, three, four, five-” Richie had begun counting, crossing his arms defiantly as he remained upside down. He was around seven years old, but Eddie could tell it was him. “Six, seven, eight, nine-” a small sob interrupted the young boy’s counting. Eddie heard it too and immediately began to search for where it was coming from. “Umm, okay, ten, eleven, twelve-” Another small cry drifted to Richie’s ears. The young boy popped his eyes open and frowned. “Well now I lost my place.” He pouted as he climbed down, his small body swaying as the dizziness overtook him. Eddie watched curiously as Richie followed the sound a few feet away; his journey leading him underneath the playground equipment.

Eddie had to crouch down and crawl through the woodchips to be able to see where Richie was going. The boy had crawled back behind the slide where another seven year old was hiding. The child was wearing shorts and tube socks, his head hanging down as he gripped his knees.

“Are you okay?” young Richie asked, putting a tentative hand on the child’s shoulder. The other child gave a small gasp and looked up, his large brown eyes red from tears.

“Holy shit,” Eddie murmured. He couldn’t move; he was transfixed on the image of his younger self beneath the slide, the outline of an inhaler clearly visible in the child’s short’s pocket.

“No,” young Eddie sniffled, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “I’m really sad.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” young Richie said quietly, clearly unsure of what to do. “Should- should I leave you alone?” he asked, already backing away.

“No!” young Eddie called out, grabbing Richie by the wrist. “Please don’t go.” Richie shrugged and moved to sit down next to this strange new kid.

“So, what’s up Doc?” Richie asked in a mediocre Bugs Bunny voice.

“They wouldn’t let me play kickball,” young Eddie explained, another tear trickling down cheek.

“Why not? Is it because you’re too cute, cute, cute?” Richie asked, playfully pinching young Eddie’s cheek.

“You’re weird,” young Eddie commented, his eyes dubious. “But no, they said I- they said I breathed funny and they didn’t want me around.”

“Well do you?” Richie asked.

“Do I what?” young Eddie replied, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Breathe funny.” Young Eddie sort of shrugged and produced the inhaler from his pocket. “Whoa, is that a pipe?”

“No, silly. It’s to help me breathe. I have asthma.”

“I think you just said a bad word,” Richie whispered, a grin breaking out on his face. His two front teeth were missing, and Eddie couldn’t help but chuckle. He remembered that smile…he remembered this first meeting. Young Eddie rolled his eyes and put the inhaler back in his pocket.

“No, asthma is a disease. Sometimes it’s hard for me to breathe, so my inhaler gives me medicine to make my lungs work right.”

“That’s kinda cool. My eyes don’t work right, but all I got for that is these stupid glasses.”

“I don’t think they’re stupid…I like them.” The two boys sat in silence for a few moments, unaware that Eddie was watching, captivated by their every word. “What’s your name?”

“Richie. What’s yours?”

“Edward Kaspbrak, but people call me Eddie.”

“Okay, Eds. Do you wanna get out of here?”

“Don’t call me that. And where are we going?”

“I have some friends, Bill and Stanley. I think you’ll like them a lot. Bill is so cool and Stan is the man. And I promised not to leave you here, so I guess you have to come along.” Richie began to crawl away, but turned around to offer his hand. “C’mon, we’re a lot more fun than those kick ball jerks.” Young Eddie evaluated Richie’s outstretched hand before eventually shrugging and taking it firmly. Richie gave another wide grin and the two began running across the play ground, hand in hand. Eddie smiled as he watched the boys fade away.

_I didn’t leave you. I kept my promise, Eds._ The voice echoed in Eddie’s ears and he looked all around. The playground began to dissolve from sight, each child replaced with darkness, each slide and swing fading away into nothingness. Eddie began to sprint, desperately following the voice he heard. _Please, Eds. You gotta come back to me…don’t leave me alone._

“Richie!” Eddie screamed out. “Richie where are you? I’m here! I’m here.” The darkness enclosed around Eddie, any scrap of light was instantly swallowed into black. Eddie’s body began to feel weak, and his entire front began to burn and ache. He fell to the ground, clutching himself as his breathing became labored. “Rich, I’m here,” he muttered weakly, “I’m coming.”

A shock pulsed through Eddie’s body, pure electricity singed from his core and out to his limbs. He wanted to scream but he was too weak. Minutes passed, and all he could register was an overwhelming tingling. But slowly it faded, and the sound of lazy beeping entered his ears, then the chatter of voices. Next he could sense a bright light behind his eye lids, then the smell of sterilization masking the familiar metallic scent of blood. Lastly, he could feel coarse sheets and a thin blanket against his skin. He became very aware of his body, how it ached and pulsed. Eddie groaned softly, cracking his eyes open; everything was blurry and hazy.

“Oh my god,” came a voice, it was Richie. “Oh my god, guys! Guys, come quick!” The voice moved closer to his ear, and he could feel a hand grip his. Eddie turned his face to see Richie’s come into focus only a few inches away.

“Hey,” Eddie croaked. His face felt swollen as he tried to form words around his infected cheek.

“Welcome back, handsome,” Richie whispered, tears streaming freely down his face.

“I couldn’t-” Eddie began. Breathing was a chore, and his mind was exhausted. “-leave you…alone,” he wheezed.

“I love you, spaghetti.”

“Don’t leave,” Eddie asked, his voice barely audible over his heart rate monitor.

“Never again.” Richie kissed the top of Eddie’s forehead, the warmth of his lips seeming to block out everything in the hospital room. “You’re with me. You’re safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Probably only one or two chapters left, ya'll!


	36. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The war against Pennywise is over, and Richie decides to take control of where his life is leading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter left! Think about any Reddie prompts and one shots you'd like me to publish on AO3!  
> Important link at the end <3

“I am fully capable of feeding myself,” Eddie quipped, opening his mouth for another helping of peaches.

“Just let me help you, Eds,” Richie retorted, spooning the fruit gently between Eddie’s lips. Two days had passed since they dragged Eddie into the hospital. According to the physicians, Eddie had died at least twice and shouldn’t have ever woken up. He had a cracked rib cage, a punctured lung, as well as tears to his liver and spleen. They credited Eddie’s recovery to a life dedicated to health, even stating that he was lucky to have had no preexisting conditions; a comment which made all the Losers chuckle.

“And are you planning on chewing it for him, too?” Stanley quipped from behind an outdated magazine. He and Mike were sitting in chairs at the other end of the hospital room, patiently waiting for a final word from the doctor before Stanley’s flight later that afternoon.

“He got skewered Stan,” Richie replied in exasperation.

“Yeah Stan,” Mike interceded. “Richie can’t help that he’s whipped.” The two men snickered while Richie rolled his eyes.

“Don’t worry Tozier,” Eddie added. “I like that you’re whipped.”

“You won’t be laughing when I don’t feed you your chocolate pudding,” Richie pouted. A smile peaked through the corners of his lips, betraying his tone. There was a soft knock at the door and the men turned to see a doctor with a perturbed look on her face.

“Mr. Kaspbrak?” she asked, gripping her clipboard to her chest.

“Please, come in. Thanks,” Eddie said quietly.

“So what’s the news doc? This spaghetti gonna be okay?”

“Oh yes, Mr. Kaspbrak is projected to make a full recovery. In fact, he’s been quite a topic of conversation among the doctors here.”

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked defensively. The last time he had been in a hospital with Richie, being a ‘topic of conversation’ was not a good thing.

“Honestly, Mr. Kaspbrak, you shouldn’t be alive. It’s a miracle really. You should have hemorrhaged out, drowned in your own blood, or died from toxicity from your liver and spleen being opened. Somehow you managed to survive your trip to the hospital. The fact that we were able to resuscitate you not once, but twice…well you really must have someone looking out for you.” Eddie just smiled softly and reached over to squeeze Richie’s hand. “Quite the hunting accident,” she added, a hint of suspicion in her voice.

“What can I say, the woods are dangerous and I can be rather clumsy,” Eddie answered, refusing to give an inch. Mike and Stanley refused to say anything, looking down in their laps.

“So, when will he be good to leave?” Richie asked. They may have destroyed the evil that had fueled Derry for centuries, but Richie wasn’t eager to stick around. There were too many painful memories held in the town, and he was desperate for a fresh start. Bill had already returned home to make amends with Audra. Ben and Beverly ran off together as soon as they learned Eddie would survive; Richie wouldn’t be surprised if they never heard from them again.

“Well, recovery is a delicate matter. It’s hard to predict sometimes.” The nurse saw Richie’s frown and bit her bottom lip in thought. “But if I had to put a time on it, you should be able to leave our hospital in around six days, Mr. Kaspbrak.” Eddie gave a comforting squeeze to Richie’s hand. He knew Richie wanted out of Derry. And he knew how uncomfortable this hospital made him. “Now, out of hospital recovery will be long, and I hate to say it, rather painful. You will have to be extremely careful.”

“No problem there, Eddie is the most cautious guy I know,” Richie responded.

“Thanks, doctor,” Eddie added. She gave a small nod and left the room. Stanley stood up and walked over to the side of Eddie’s bed, lightly placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I should get going; that traffic is going to be murder. But I’m glad you’re back Eddie. Life wouldn’t be the same without you in it.” He turned to Richie and gave him a playful punch in the arm. “And you, Trashmouth; don’t be a stranger, okay? No more disappearing acts.”

“Hey, you guys aren’t getting rid of me so easily this time,” Richie retorted. Stanley tried to suppress a grin that was beginning to break out over his face. He turned to Mike and shook the taller man’s hand.

“I’ll walk you out,” Mike offered, following Stanley out of the room and down the hallway. Richie and Eddie were left alone, the air quiet and clean.

“Six days,” Eddie began, “we can handle that, Rich.” Richie gave a dramatic groan and rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” he conceded, “but if I have to stay in this town a second longer, there’s one thing I have to do.” He reached into his pocket to produce a small box and held it out to Eddie. The shorter man’s eyes widened, his lip quivering as he struggled to speak.

“Tozier…what the fuck is that?”

“Eds, I love you. More than I’ve loved anyone. I don’t want to spend another second of my life without you in it. I want you to come with me, back to LA. Or hell, we’ll move somewhere all together new. But I want you to know that I’m committing to you no matter what.” Richie’s hands were shaking, but his voice was calm and firm. Eddie’s large brown eyes had begun to tear up, a weak smile forming. “I regret all the lost time, I regret the heart ache and the forgetting, and I regret the pain…but I don’t for one second regret being yours. You give my life meaning and you make me want to be a better man. So, Edward Dean Kaspbrak, will you marry me?”

“You really wanna marry me, Trashmouth?” Eddie asked, the tears streaming down his face. Richie grinned, removing the ring from the box and slipping it gently over Eddie’s finger.

“Well of course; we’ve already deflowered each other. It’s the honorable thing to do.”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Eddie whispered, admiring the ring on his hand.

“So… Is that a yes?” Richie asked, crawling up on the bed to curl up beside Eddie.

“No shit it’s a ‘yes,’” Eddie laughed, capturing Richie’s mouth in a gentle kiss. Richie melted into Eddie’s lips, missing the taste, longing for Eddie’s smell and warmth. “When did you even have time to get this?”

“I made Stan watch you while you slept, so I could run into town. After you were stable of course.”

“Well I love it. And I love you, Richie. I never stopped, not for a moment, and I never will.” Richie nuzzled gently against Eddie, finally closing his eyes for the first time in days.

“Now rest up, Eds. We got a wedding to plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://rusticandmain.com/products/whiskey-barrel-wood-ring-antler-gold?utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpfHzBRCiARIsAHHzyZoLYrEEcvSb3sxXxfb00_YtZx9Pb55F9p2DvEcvnLvXs1G5p0Pp_iMaAiXXEALw_wcB
> 
> Copy and paste to see Eddie's engagement ring.


	37. From Now On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of "Fires in Winter." I promised ya'll a happy ending :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who continually read this story. It means the absolute world to me and I had such a great experience writing it. I'm not ready to say goodbye to Reddie though, so please, let me know of any ideas/prompts you may have. Especially if my county gets locked down, I'll have a ton of time to write.

“Are you sure about this? We can wait another week, Eds.”

“Rich, the doctors all said I was cleared. I’m ready.” Eddie reached for Richie’s hand, stroking the skin with his thumb. The two men stood in the middle of their Los Angeles apartment bedroom. It had been four weeks since Eddie left the hospital; without a second thought he sent Myra a letter explaining everything and hopped on a plane with Richie. Eddie rather liked LA, it was much warmer than New York, and he had been able to find a few possible companies to work for. Richie had tried to convince him to stay at home, since he could afford it, but Eddie resisted. If he was home all the time he’d have to listen to Richie’s new material nonstop.

Eddie and Richie’s wedding was on hold as they waited for the divorce to go through, but they lived as newlyweds regardless. Each morning Richie looked over to what used to be an empty half of his bed to see Eddie’s sleeping face, mouth slightly parted, bathed in the morning glow of a rising sun. The loneliness Eddie used to feel each night was replaced with laughter and banter so extreme that it threatened to tear his stitches apart. Both men could feel, deep down, that this was how things were always meant to be. Each embrace, each kiss, every glance or hand squeeze, helped to erase the pain of wasted time that had built up between them.

“I know Eddie, and you know I want to. But what if-”

“I know you’ll be gentle. You’ve always taken care of me, Rich. This is no different.” Eddie closed the gap between them and pressed his lips earnestly against Richie’s, reveling in the warmth. “I want to feel your love, Rich. Please?” Richie’s breath hitched as Eddie pushed his palm against Richie’s crotch, meeting a familiar hardness.

“Okay Eds, but if you feel any pain, you say something. Okay?”

“Of course, Richie.” Eddie captured Richie’s face in his hands and pulled him down for another heated kiss, sucking gently on his lower lip, excitement prickling up Eddie’s back. Richie kissed the side of Eddie’s neck, his fingers grabbing at the hem of Eddie’s shirt. Well actually, _his_ shirt. They were waiting for Myra to ship Eddie’s things, but Richie had a suspicion they’d have to buy him a new wardrobe.

“I’ve missed kissing you like this,” Richie breathed, biting at the crook of the shorter man’s neck. He lifted the shirt over his head and dropped it to the floor. Richie lightly traced the new scar, large and jagged, that marred his smooth torso. “Eds-”

“It’s okay, Richie.” Eddie took Richie’s hand and pressed it more firmly against the scar. “It doesn’t hurt anymore, and I like it.”

“Why?” Richie asked sadly. In his mind, it was a reminder that Eddie had almost died trying to save his stupid ass.

“Because it proves that if I’m with you, I can survive anything.” A small tear fell from Richie’s eye, and Eddie quickly kissed it away. He worked his way down, nipping along his jaw and down his throat, each kiss lingering with a scorching intensity. He slowly unbuttoned Richie’s shirt, licking each new spot of exposed skin until he was on his knees unbuckling Richie’s belt. Richie ran his fingers through Eddie’s soft hair as the shorter man dragged his pants down, releasing his thick erection. Eddie gave a slow lick to the underside of his shaft, sending Richie’s head back as he pushed his hips closer to Eddie’s mouth.

“I’ve missed your mouth,” Richie whispered, closing his eyes. Eddie licked his lips and began to suck Richie’s cock slowly, bobbing his head as he tasted every inch of it. He missed being filled, missed seeing Richie’s face twisted in pleasure from his actions. He hollowed his cheeks and reached his hands around to cup Richie’s round ass, pushing him in deeper. Eddie moaned, the vibrations traveling up through Richie’s body and making his nipples painfully hard. Eddie cupped the taller man’s balls, gently massaging them as he pushed Richie down his throat. “Mmm fuck, Eds.” Richie knelt down and lifted Eddie’s chin, the shorter man coming off of him with a wet pop. Richie stepped out of his pants and helped Eddie back up. “Can’t make me come too soon; not when I have ravishing to do.”

“Then get me out of these clothes,” Eddie whispered in Richie’s ear, pressing himself against Richie’s erection. Richie growled playfully and unbuttoned Eddie’s jeans, making sure to hold Eddie steady as he drug them down and kicked them to the side. Richie licked his lips, evaluating the man’s long member.

“And you’re absolutely sure about this?” Richie asked, rubbing his thumb over the small scar on Eddie’s cheek.

“Yes, now get on with it before I grab that toy in your top drawer that you think I don’t know about.” Richie’s cheeks turned a bright pink, but he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Yes, sir. My little power bottom.”

“I’ll be whatever you want, asshole. Now fuck me.” Richie grabbed Eddie’s wrist and led him over to the bed. He bent Eddie gently over the side, taking a pillow to put under his torso. Eddie curled his toes against the carpet in anticipation as he heard Richie rummage through the dresser drawer for lube. Richie squirted a generous helping onto his fingers and spread Eddie’s ass wide.

“You look so sexy like this,” Richie murmured, his cock twitching impatiently. He inserted a finger, and then two, slowly scissoring and stretching him. Eddie’s body shuddered in pleasure, enjoying the pressure. Richie was able to get four fingers in, pleased that Eddie was adequately prepared for him. “Get on the bed,” he breathed, the excitement building up. His abdomen like bubbling magma. Eddie crawled onto the bed and lay down on his side. Richie followed, laying on his side to spoon the shorter man. He spread Eddie again and carefully entered him, his hole slick with lube.

“Fuck, Richie. That’s… so good,” Eddie called out. Richie gripped Eddie’s top thigh, leaving half crescent marks in soft skin while his other arm wrapped under Eddie’s torso to hold the shorter man close against his chest. He slowly moved out and back in, stretching and dominating him.

“You feel fucking amazing,” Richie hissed in his ear. Eddie moaned in delight, craning his neck to turn and kiss Richie softly.

“You can go a little faster,” he urged, a delicious fullness overtaking his body. Richie began to set on a rhythm, rolling his hips erotically as he moved in and out of Eddie. The air filled with moans and desperate breaths as they surrendered to each other’s bodies, melting sensually into one.

“Oh god, oh god! Richie!” Eddie called out loudly, no longer forced to experience his pleasure quietly like all those years ago.

“Fuck yes, Eds. Scream my name,” Richie breathed, quickening his pace. Skin slapped against skin as he nailed Eddie’s prostate, causing the shorter man to whine wantonly.

“Richie, make me yours. I want to feel you for hours after this.” Richie moaned loudly, Eddie’s words always intoxicating to him. He continued on his rhythm, careful to try and keep Eddie’s torso still. The two men were building, each thrust driving them higher and higher to the point of ecstasy.

“I’m so close Eddie. You feel so fucking good.”

“Make me cum, Rich. I need it so bad,” Eddie begged, his eyes squeezed shut as his entire body tightened. He spasmed into his orgasm, his cum shooting out over the sheets of the bed. Richie followed quickly at the sight of Eddie’s pleasure, his hips bucking erratically as he found his release. He breathed harshly, lazily kissing the back of Eddie’s neck as he tried to recover. The two men lay in stillness, enjoying the feel of the other man’s body against his. “You still got it,” Eddie chuckled, turning to give Richie a tender kiss.

“It was only four weeks,” Richie quipped. “You don’t forget how to please the man of your dreams that quickly.”

“This is better than a dream,” Eddie mused. Richie grabbed his hand and ran his thumb lovingly over the ring on his finger.

“You’re right, Kaspbrak.” Better than any dream, and stronger than any nightmare. Richie finally felt safe, finally felt loved. And in each other, they had found home.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again! Stay safe and love you all <3


End file.
